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Guardian Angel



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I was walking this morning, and I was thinking about how to explain my RNY surgery to people who have very little knowledge of it. I have been attending a "Living Lite" program, a weekly meeting where a coach leads us through habits for living a more healthy life. Many of these people are obese, but are really not familiar with bariatric surgery. I am certain as I attend these meetings after my surgery, and my weight drops dramatically, there are going to be questions. So I was thinking about how to explain it to them. I want to ensure they don't think that it is some sort of magic pill that makes you lose weight. There is still real work we have to do in order to lose weight.

Essentially, I see bariatric surgery as a guardian angel. We all know the drill for how to lose weight: control portions, avoid high-sugar and high-fat foods, chew your food thoroughly, eat mindfully (and slowly), restrict daily calorie intake, etc. Those are the "tricks" to how to lose weight. Well, guess what? Bariatric surgery isn't some magic ticket, it is a guardian angel.

Whenever I eat too much sugar, I dump. Whenever I eat too much fat, I dump. Whenever I don't chew my food, I throw up. If I eat too fast, I throw up. If I eat too much (and with a small pouch, it doesn't take much), I throw up. Essentially, whenever I do something bad, my guardian angel hits me over the head and says "don't do that again". That guardian angel is with me every day, without fail, helping me to learn and develop good habits.

Eventually, over time that guardian angel will become more lax. My pouch will enlarge a bit, my GI tract will adapt to accept more sugar and fat, etc. But hopefully, by that time I have developed the necessary habits to live a healthy life. If I don't, I will regain weight.

The only real thing that the gastric bypass does beyond enforcing good habits is malabsorption and providing a feeling of satiety earlier.

I think that's how I will explain it to people who are unfamiliar with it. What do you think?

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@toasty… I think that is a wonderful analogy for this journey of ours and hopefully will help many of our friends and loved ones better understand the importance of the surgery and how it will change our lives for the better, in so many ways. I may have to borrow your analogy in my own struggle to impart the benefits of my surgery to people who question its value ;) Thanks Toasty!

Maybe I am a cynic or still so new to this (I am, unfortunately, self-pay so this transition has been fast and furious in some ways (and way too long in coming, in others!)), but I just think people who have never experienced the trials of an obese person, or those of someone they love, can ever really understand my decision to undergo WLS.

Part of me wants to just curl up in a ball, even post-weight loss, and hide away from all the questioning eyes. I want to be "normal"… not the "cheery, chubby" woman I think everyone only sees or even the thinner, healthier woman that becomes the topic of conversations every time I step out into the neighborhood or go to one of my kids' school events.

Hopefully, I will gain more confidence post surgery and not feel so defensive about it all… Is it unhealthy to want to be private in my decision? I don't plan to be dishonest about my method of weight loss, I just wish it would not be so "interesting" to those around me.

Edited by irishaggie

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@@toasty

I think this is a great way not only to explain to others but also for myself to think about it.

I'm going to print this out so I can refer to it when I need to

Thank you!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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    • KimBaxleyWilson

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