I have approval and am finalizing the NUT and psych evals before meeting with the program director next month, then setting a date with the surgeon. Today changed my path... I've been processing a lot of information, and there are some things that don't sit well with me.

I went for the first of two psych appointments, and he starts telling me I'm getting the sleeve. When I mentioned that all of my support people have had long-term success with RNY, he demanded that I explain in detail why the RNY was better than the sleeve. If that wasn't enough, he called my husband in later. When my husband expressed that he has some apprehensions because he's worried about complications (I'm sure that's normal, especially expressing this to a psych doc - right?) the doc said my husband was ignorant and didn't know what he was talking about.

One of my Bari friends who went to another doc was told that the clinic I was attending (Sparrow Hospital in Lansing MI) has been pushing the sleeve on everyone because; a) it's easier on the surgeons; and allows surgeons to perform more surgeries in a day. I was processing that info and didn't put too much thought into it until today's visit.

I was headed down the homestretch as far as testing and approvals, even getting told I may have surgery as early as next month. Now I'm looking at a different program on the east side of the state. I am just very discouraged right now...

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You have to stick to what YOU want. Do what is best for YOU. Good luck

If you aren't comfortable, switch. Looking back I saw some warning signs early on I ignored. Now, I'm not happy with my choice but the deal is done. And yes, Doctors can pack in a lot of sleeve surgeries a day, so they are favoring it.

Go with your gut on this and find a different center of excellence that will focus on you, not the number of sleeve surgeries they can get in.

You will be so much happier with your decision. I am with you regarding this psych. What a jerk! I would definately not trust him.

Good luck to you and please keep us posted. This is a big decision and you need to be 100 percent comfortable with your team.

I couldn't agree more with what everyone has said. Good for you for searching for another team! Complete trust in your team will help so much. Plus, they work for you...not the other way around. How dare someone boss you around?!! You're obviously strong and smart. Keep the faith. You'll find someone who will listen and who you trust. Please do keep us posted. Good luck to you!!!

Sorry you had this experience. As if doing this isn't hard enough already. That Dr should be reported to the medical board. He had no right to talk to you that way and then talk to your husband unless you gave him permission. Aren't psych visits supposed to be confidential? Go after what you want, your body, your life. I wish you luck finding a group that treats you with more respect.

The fact that the psychologist called your husband without you present is appalling! I would definitely look into filing a complaint. Secondly, it's not the psychologist's decision as to which surgery you have. Unless there is a solid reason why your surgeon wouldn't recommend the RNY procedure, there is no reason why it can't be your decision on which surgery to do.

GO WITH YOUR GUT. It's sending up some serious red flags!

I would listen to your instincts on this one. If it doesn't feel right a little lost time will be worth it in the end. Good luck!

THANKS for the feedback and words of support - all of you are so awesome! I mis-typed some information - the psych asked my permission to bring my husband in, and I was asked to bring my support person to this visit for that reason. I sent a complaint through the hospital and am going to review him on Healthgrades and other medical sites.

As discouraged as I am - I was planning to have surgery by year's end to ring in the new year and a new me - I know that things happen for a reason. The last month I have crossed paths with others who went to a surgery center in Ypsilanti MI, and the surgeon's and staff's reviews are phenomenal. I hope I won't have to start with square one, but this is MY life. I also want to make sure my husband receives all the information possible to help him understand my reasons for wanting WLS. He has heard nothing but negative aspects of surgery and I want him to get the big picture (of a smaller me, of course)...

Also - HAPPY FRIDAY!!!

I had gastric bypass 4 weeks ago. I saw my surgeon yesterday. He told me that they are now doing more sleeves because it is less complicated and patients do well. BUT, with people who need to lose a large amount of weight, or have co-morbidities like diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, the bypass is the way to go.

This surgery is what I wanted and the surgeon agreed.

That psy is a total jerk, all he is supposed to do is evaluate if you are ready to change your life and go healthy. He has nothing to do with what kind of surgery you should have.

Best decision you made to look elsewhere and change team!

GO FOR IT

Unless there are actual medical reasons for this decision (and comorbidities and amount of weight to lose aren't among them), the decision is entirely up to you, and you need to find a surgeon that will honor your request. There are many good reasons not to have the RNY and have the sleeve instead at whatever weight you are, but for every one of them, there is at least one good reason to go with it instead of the sleeve, and that also goes for people who don't have much to lose. You know your lifestyle better than any surgeon ever will, and in your next visit, even if the surgeon is courteous, you should probably put your foot down as the patient and say this is what you want, pre-empting any of this behavior.

My surgeon commented that the sleeve surgery now is like the boob jobs in the '80's!!

Everyone seems to be getting the sleeve but for many of us gastric bypass is the way to go!

When the psychologist told me that I should be having gastric bypass instead of the sleeve, I was initially more than annoyed as he is NOT the surgeon. However as the consultation progressed, I realized he was testing my understanding of both procedures. He was openly challenging of many of my feelings which gave me cause for concern. Yet he issued a boiler plate approval letter that could have described almost anyone.

I will not seek his help if I decide to seek counseling in the months ahead. He just didn't strike me as very bright or intellectually curious. In short, he failed to earn my respect.

If you have serious doubts about the bariatric team, change. I had complete trust in my surgeon. That trust gave me peace of mind when I was one of the few who have complications hours after sleeve surgery. If my husband and I already had doubts, the entire experience would have been even more traumatic. Pardon the expression, but listen to your gut on this important decision.

The fact the Psych called your husband without asking you first is a break of HIPPA and you definitely should file a complaint. Also, anyone who is pushing one procedure over another because of convenience to them is certainly not concerned about you, your well being, or your weightloss. You need to leave there and have your records transferred to the new clinic. It is possible that all you've done to this point can be saved and used-although the psych evaluation, I'm sure I wouldn't trust anything in that and have it redone with a new one.

I have an huge amount of weight to lose, even by the standards of this forum. I have decided to do the sleeve for a few reasons. 1) I am concerned about the dumping syndrome issue that occurs with bypass and sleeve doesn't have this issue. 2) people can lose as much weight as those who do gastric bypass and things aren't rerouted. 3) revision to RNY is still possible if sleeve isn't enough.

After lots of research, I felt that I was more comfortable with having the sleeve.

I agree with what everyone else has said - you have to go with your gut. At first I tried to see a specific surgeon that is one of the top rated in my area but my medical group referred me to a guy who worked out of a dental office over an hour from where I live. He told me I needed to lose 30 pounds before the surgery (which is completely normal) but that that shouldn't take more than a month or so because "they do it all the time on Biggest Loser." If I could lose 30 pounds in a month then I wouldn't need surgery in the first place! In the end I had to appeal to my health insurance who finally agreed to let me see the doctor I'd wanted to go to in the first place. I'm so glad they did because he was excellent and well worth the several months of bureaucratic nonsense I had to struggle through.