Bingeing after the sleeve

[gabito 14]

Thank you. I'm hopeful that I can do this with the support that I am getting from friends and family. I have already had therapy to deal with BED and I don't feel like what is happening now is enough of an issue to warrant further therapy, mainly because it doesn't happen that often. Do you ever cheat? And how often do you do it? So far everyone that has replied seems to be hardly ever have problems controlling what they eat.

You need to seek professional help to work through your BED. I'm concerned you will continue to struggle without support from professionals like a counselor or therapist or even a psychiatrist. There's no shame in that. I'm actually very impressed with your success so far dealing with that disorder. You're a rock star! But like I said, there's no shame seeking some extra help to ensure you're successful with the rest of your weight loss journey and beyond. Good luck to you!

[gabito 14]

I've had a couple of sleeve-style binges - where you can't hold what you used to, but the lack of control is there. Yes, I'm losing and have continued to lose weight. It seems that the instant fullness, pain, and the quickness that overeating so much causes vomiting brings me back to my senses where I never had that off switch before. It happens a LOT less often now - maybe 3 times in the last 9 months, where I was doing it several times a week before - and I think mostly because I'm more aware of my body.

I can understand where you're coming from, though. The first time I did it post-op it was like an out of body experience. I got out of the car to put gas in it, and it was like I was watching a movie until I was a few blocks down with donut crumbs on my shirt and an urgent need to hurl.

I'm sorry you're dealing with it - it sucks.

It is like an out of body experience! That's what everyone with BED says. So far I've been quite lucky in I'm very careful to not stretch the sleeve, so after I'm slightly full I stop. I'm really happy to hear that you have only dealt with it a few times in the past 9 months! That's very encouraging! Could I ask, when you mention that you were binging a few times a week, was that prior to surgery or after?

[gabito 14]

My advice is develop a habit of eating healthy replacement foods. Want ice cream? Eat a sugar free Popsicle. Need a snack? Have beef or turkey Jerky, or a beef stick or string cheese.

For a bread substitute I eat low carb tortillias. About 3 carbs per, 10+ Fiber and they taste great. Just had a 4 oz tuna salad wrap and I loved it.

Hi Santiago, I already to this. I eat very healthily throughout the day but sometimes I get urges to have bad food and sometimes I give in. I didn't know they did low-card tortillas. I will have a look for those, thanks!

[roundisashape 712]

It is like an out of body experience! That's what everyone with BED says. So far I've been quite lucky in I'm very careful to not stretch the sleeve, so after I'm slightly full I stop. I'm really happy to hear that you have only dealt with it a few times in the past 9 months! That's very encouraging! Could I ask, when you mention that you were binging a few times a week, was that prior to surgery or after?

When it was happening that often, it was pre-op. I didn't have my first post-op binge until about 3 months out - it shocked me, honestly, because I guess I just thought it would never happen again!

[Folly 308]

I don't really consider any of my food choices "cheating". I still track everything I put in my mouth. I know what I need. It might help to think of your calorie goal as a budget. With my budget I have to buy so much Protein, so much Fiber, so much Calcium, so much (healthy) fat, etc... If I get everything I need and want something indulgent AND have enough left over I go ahead. Otherwise I have to do it another day. It works out that I can have a bite of anything I want but beyond that it has to be paid for... we all learn different ways of coping with the monster. That's one of mine.

[gabito 14]

That sounds so controlled. Wow, well done.

I don't really consider any of my food choices "cheating". I still track everything I put in my mouth. I know what I need. It might help to think of your calorie goal as a budget. With my budget I have to buy so much Protein, so much Fiber, so much Calcium, so much (healthy) fat, etc... If I get everything I need and want something indulgent AND have enough left over I go ahead. Otherwise I have to do it another day. It works out that I can have a bite of anything I want but beyond that it has to be paid for... we all learn different ways of coping with the monster. That's one of mine.

[Folly 308]

@@gabito

LOL... I don't know if "controlled" is the word I would use. I think it's more accurate to think of it as a truce. The way I deal with it now wouldn't have worked in the beginning or even a year ago. It may become problematic in the future - my crystal ball broke and my husband won't buy me a new one so I really don't know. For now it works because I can stay on track and make good choices. My food issues come up when I obsess about what I MUST NOT or CANNOT have. They also come up when I'm not OK emotionally. food isn't my real enemy, it never was. Food/BED was a symptom of my inability to cope or be real with myself and others. If I'm ok emotionally food is a non-issue most of the time. The road to getting to this place was painful but worth it.

[newmebithebypass 713]

i like the budget idea might have to implement that one

[KarenLoh 128]

@@gabito said "It is like an out of body experience!"

I remember the first time I was dissociating and on my way to binge and was able to disconnect for a second and engage my brain --- I was able to get back into my body and THINK. I ended up thinking for long enough that I was able to make a choice and not go through with it. I remember what street I was on in that moment. It was amazing. People don't realize sometimes how weirdly the brain works. Good therapy is a very good thing. It has helped me tremendously.

[Sara51692 162]

@@gabito Thanks for bringing up this topic...it's a hard thing to talk about...EDs in general or overeating in general.

I think the hardest part of the surgery was coming to terms with the fact that my problems with food still exist and still have to be dealt with. I've been talking to my therapist for weeks now about how it's so hard for me to control myself sometimes.

There's something in my brain sometimes, when bingeing, that somehows thinks "OMG. Eat this now! Finish it! What if you NEVER eat this again? What if you never eat ANYTHING again? GO!" And the rational part of myself looks back at these thoughts and knows they're insane, because while I'm not rich or anything, I'm not struggling for food. I can pay for food, I can even pay for good food, and I'm the one in my house who grocery shops and cooks, so I also choose the food. I just can't get it through to my brain that it's fine, I can leave that cheese stick in the fridge, because no, I'm not hungry, or that it's okay to not finish my food, because I will eat again, and if I'm hungry again, even in 5 minutes, I have food to eat. The guilt afterwards is horrible. I log all my food and sometimes I just scroll back to days I was dealing with this and hate myself.

That's where my emotional state is at during those times -- it's been hard to find other people to relate to. I'm thinking of joining an Overeater's Anonymous group in addition to my WLS support group, just for this reason...I had problems with other EDs when I was younger, and I've been trying very hard not to fall into old habits because this sleeve is too valuable to throw away on stupid behavior.

[gabito 14]

@@Sara51692 'I think the hardest part of the surgery was coming to terms with the fact that my problems with food still exist and still have to be dealt with. ' That is exactly how I feel. I felt heartbroken when I made this post. I read some very troubling posts in which a few sleevers mention gaining back most of their weight loss due to stress and hardships in life. That is why I binge.

I've started to do my CBT exercises in which I write every good thing that happened in my day. I also write down any anxious thoughts and predictions in a worksheet and then calmly try to resolve my problems and at least gain some perspective.

That gives me a greater sense of control so that anxiety doesn't build up to the point where I compulsively eat.

[gabito 14]

@@KarenLoh That's amazing! Getting yourself out of that state is a big, big achievement! I've managed to do it a few times and its incredibly hard.

[BarrySue 602]

BED person here as well.

Honestly, I do a lot of the following to avoid issues:

I don't keep tasty food in the house, or only enough for 1-2 portions. If it's there, I'd eat it. I prefer to make daily stops.

I keep busy constantly. This is the biggest help. Any idleness/boredom kills me. In addition to work and school, I volunteer.

If I decide to eat something I shouldn't, I am required to call a friend first to tell them what I'm doing. Sometimes they can talk me down or encourage me to only eat a little, then throw the rest away.

I haven't had an episode in the eight weeks since surgery, but I know as I heal more, the temptation will grow. I'm not going to ever talk/psychoanalyze my way out of the pleasure of binging, so I'm just trying to fill my life up and replace it with other things.

[Folly 308]

Reading everything written here makes me feel proud of all of you... and humbled. I'm so glad we have a place to talk about these things without people taking pot shots at us. :-)

[Tootsietoes 84]

I think everyone has a bad day, a bad meal once in a while. Not sure I could call a couple donuts a binge, but without the sleeve, it could of been 10. I have found that if I must have that tasty trigger food, eating some apple helps me from caving in completely. Just a bite. On a side note, someone should seriously create a humor thread of 'sleeve binges'- that crazy time I had a banana and chips and 2 sips of water--