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Where is my head at?



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Having been on maintenance for about 5 months now, I am battling daily with what my norm is. When I started, the Dr said my goal weight is going to be 195. I have since hit that goal and am going lower. When I began hovering around 187 – 188 for a few months, I thought this would be my new norm. I then went out of town on a family emergency and a few days there I weighed myself and found that I had lost 4 pounds in a few days. I weighed in at 183. Thinking the scale was wrong, I did not pay too much attention to it. After two weeks when I got home I weighed myself to find that the scale was right as I think I was 182 at that time. I am definitely obsessed with weighing myself. During the weight loss stage I was motivated by seeing my weight go down at such a rapid rate and weighed myself daily. As I got closer to my goal weight, I then began getting hyper focused on not gaining any weight and would panic at a pound or two change. Focusing on my physical feeling, when I would see myself up a pound or two I would physically feel “fat”. During the day I would have a bloating feeling and worry about my weight. When start feeling this way, I try on my larger clothes and even some smaller ones to put my head back in place and ease my anxiety. I would also weigh myself when I get home and see that I was only a pound up or even the same and that the feelings are in my head a bit. I am definitely struggling with what my norm is and as I lose more weight I am feeling that my norm is also going down. Now that I am at 183 I am looking to be at 185 to 187 as my range. The problem is that I am terrified of gaining weight that I am not changing my way of eating. Still afraid to bring in additional carbs and really watching the food. I am used to my current menu and rarely stray away from it. Bringing in veggies through Kale chips, steamed and also adding fruit has helped with my stomach issues. With my weight going down, I am also hyper focused on how my clothes feel. I know that my stomach is mostly skin and not fat but I still feel like it is fat and sometimes feel like my shirt is getting tighter. This is not true as my weight is not changing that much. Some of this could be physical but I am sure some of it is mental. This back and forth is driving me nuts as I tell myself that I don’t want to lose any more weight but I like when I can fit into a smaller size shorts. Just the other day I bought a size 32 waist short and can wear them. This is a bit of a high to me but also I know that this is not the normal me as I should be at a size 34. I am at a point that I will feel huge if I put on weight, even a few pounds as I am feeling just right where I am at but continue to go down a pound or two. Where do I stop? When will it feel right?

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Wow.... You have the exact same problem as I do.I hit my goal weight and it just seems that I cannot go on living a normal life like everybody else. I'm obsessed with weighing myself almost everyday. If I overeat I get so depressed. I cannot seem to maintain my weight properly, or at least don't know how to. I get stressed then binge eat then end up trying to diet again to make up for the bad days where I over ate. Coming from a morbidly obese history, I think we need time to learn how to eat normal.

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I am glad I am not the only one feeling this way. I am the opposite as I restrict my calories, go down and struggle to get back up. I guess some of the fear is me regaining.

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I think time will heal our problems. We need to be positive. In ur case u have to accept food and not to be scared to gain weight because you wont. Just don't over eat. In my case, I have a problem with food. I need to stop over loving food, I need to focus on my stress and richochet to something else other than food. You will get through this. :)

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How r u feeling now ? I was thinking earlier. Why don't u calculate ur daily calorie needs. Then this way u don't have to worry about gaining weight since ur eating with in ur daily calorie intake.

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I always log my caloric intake through my fitness pal. Right now I am at 1600 calories and 120 grams of Protein and carbs. I am trying to bring in some more dense protein and good carbs to try and stabilize. Is is definitely challenging to find the sweet spot. The way I am eating now I am loosing weight. I lost another pound this morning. 181. I find it challenging to sway from my eating plan that I have been doing for the past year. I really believe some of it is mental. Thanks for replying. Today I ordered a chicken curry salas with a little more calories, dense protein and some good fats. Definitely feel much fuller and did not eat one of my bars. Taking little steps toward the new norm.

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I always log my caloric intake through my fitness pal. Right now I am at 1600 calories and 120 grams of Protein and carbs. I am trying to bring in some more dense protein and good carbs to try and stabilize. Is is definitely challenging to find the sweet spot. The way I am eating now I am loosing weight. I lost another pound this morning. 181. I find it challenging to sway from my eating plan that I have been doing for the past year. I really believe some of it is mental. Thanks for replying. Today I ordered a chicken curry salas with a little more calories, dense protein and some good fats. Definitely feel much fuller and did not eat one of my bars. Taking little steps toward the new norm.

that's awesome. I find when I eat more calorie dense meals with healthy fats and protein, I feel full longer. And I totally agree with finding the sweet spot. I'm also adjusting to the new norm. We will get there soon :)

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im still in the pre-op phase but i need some encouragement i need to lose about half a pound in a week and i dont know the best foods to do this with

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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