Lately I have been trying to imagine what I might look like after surgery and losing some of this weight. My images can vary significantly. Sometimes I picture this svelte version of me. More often though I picture this slightly chubby version of me with very thinning hair, no boobs, and a severe muffin top. In both images I feel the person looks a lot older than I am. Neither image ever has a face.

I haven't figured out what drives the different images. I find it slightly interesting, and slightly disturbing, and scary? Is anyone else struggling with this? Do any of you picture yourself as this person who in some ways makes you sad because she/he isn't what you hoped for? I am assume it's fear based. I guess I am asking if it's normal?

I feel like a crazy person...

Edited August 19, 201511 yr by HopeandAgony

Interesting topic. I've been thin, then fat, then thin again, then fat, now thin again. So I kind of had an idea. But I have not been this size in over 20 years, so things have definitely changed with my body being an almost 50 year old woman. I also got to my heaviest before my surgery, so there is definitely more skin to contend with. So yeah, skin and sagging.

I honestly didn't have any visions of how I would look once the weight came off. The problem I was having was dealing with like a dismorphia as I lost weight. I just couldn't see it. I felt I looked HUGE in pictures still, even after losing 50 or 60 pounds. I think my brain couldn't quite catch up to the weight loss.

All that said, sure I have a little bit thinner hair, my boobs sag, my stomach is terrible with the skin, but I am HEALTHY and wouldn't change a thing! I've learned to overlook those things and embrace my new normal size. Because, although we all love the fact that we will look a little better and wear smaller clothes, isn't it ultimately all about living a longer, healthier life? It was to me!

Thanks Babbs. The thought of skin doesn't bother me for some reason. And to be honest I've had thinning hair for a while because of a burn on my scalp that took place years ago. Of course my main objective here is to be healthy. I am not doing this to look better though I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge it being a perk. I just don't understand why these images vary so much. I haven't been under 200 for 20 years, or under 175 for 24. Maybe the fear of not knowing, not having a comparison...

It's interesting that you have a hard time seeing the weight loss as you lost and in pictures. I wonder how common that is? I know right now pictures are brutal on me. I look so much bigger than I do when I look in the mirror (at least I think so).

I always try to ask these random questions. It helps me pass the time while I wait for my surgery date, and I love others perspectives. I like to hear what others think about to.

Edited August 19, 201511 yr by HopeandAgony

I'm 15 months post surgery and really didn't have any idea how I'd look once the weight started to fall off. I've been working our consistently and while I have excess skin on my body I guess it's not as bad as it could be. Like Babbs, my problem is I don't see myself as a smaller person. Whether it's looking in the mirror or in a photo, I still see an obese person staring back at me even though I'm in the 125 lb range. (On the BMI scale I'm still technically overweight and maybe that's my problem. My eyes see what is reflected by the charts, who knows). It's very disconcerting and my friends are actually concerned about me as they think I'll continue to want to lose weight until I can "see" a difference. Body dysmorphia is very real and in my experience difficult to deal with.

As far as you seeing the two faceless images of yourself, I don't know, but I never had that experience.