Passing For Thin - Support Thread for Those Approaching Goal

[Chickie 15]

Hi ladies!

I just skimmed the new posts.... I have to say, while I know Spanx are far from sexy, the name sounds as kinky as you can get!

I am alive and well (haven't faded into nothing - yet) I have just been really, really busy, and I will catch up with everyone real soon.

[Boo 3]

I'm trying to identify why I hate it so much. I know that a component of it is pure sadness. Sadness that I spent my 20s so morbidly obese that I'm not recognizable to family in my 30s. Sadness that they only see the physical changes and have no concept of the emotional burden that has been lifted -- yet there's a different emotional burden in its place. I guess, in many ways, I feel misunderstood. Even by myself.

I think part of the sadness from others' reactions come from the realization that while I was heavier, my weight/size was such an obvious flaw in me. Over my years of obesity, I tried to come to terms with accepting myself, bettering myself, forgiving, spending all time, money and effort giving to others, and telling myself that I was too harsh, that OTHER people really loved me for who I was on the inside. With all of the constant praise and attention, the bubble has somewhat been burst. It DOES matter what size we are. Obesity is a SOCIAL disease. We are shunned, no matter how nice, educated, pretty, wealthy, or successful we are. That has been hard to face. Now I need to learn from this and honestly look at my own shallow views on myself and others. What do I need to change? How do I contribute to the problem? Now that I am "passing for thin" I don't want to join the masses that are privately pointing in disgust.

Dawn!!! Yeah! You are back. I'm going to PM you with an idea.

[BabyGotBack 0]

Dawn!! We're so excited you're back from Europe! Tell us all about it! I didn't think you got back until August. I hope you had a fabulous time.

We didn't start an April thread this month (which explains why you can't find it!). Basically, when you get caught up on this thread (and the end of the June thread for the April folks), you'll see that we didn't get a lot of traffic in April. Those of us who were still active were all in the "almost to maintenance" phase and we thought we would get the best support if we opened up those topics to all maintaining bandsters instead of just the April group.

Of course, there are some April folks who aren't approaching goal yet. We invited them to join in here, no matter what stage they were at. This thread isn't meant to exclude anyone based on where they are in the journey. It's just meant to be an advanced thread, in terms of the issues that come up once a good bit of the weight has come off.

BabyGotBack,

Welcome to the thread! I look forward to getting to know you better. How long have you been on a plateau and how much more would you like to lose? For me, getting closer to goal means that I only lose about 4 lbs/month, and it's usually the week after my cycle when it all comes off, then NOTHING for 3 weeks. Super frustrating, but glad to be so close to goal that I'm having the "problem." Take care.

Thanks for the welcome!!!:biggrin1:

I have been banded for 6 months. Lost 25 pounds in the first 2 1/2 months - 3 months, than nothing. So, I have been on plateau for about 3 months. I had no restriction until this last fill 2 weeks ago, putting me at 3 cc's in a 4 cc band. I have 2 goals, I guess to make it seem more attainable. Goal #1 is to lose 10 pounds, putting me at 155. I was really happy at that weight once, but rapidly gained it back. Goal #2 is 10 more pounds to put me at 145. I once weighed that to for a few days until I rapidly put on all the weight back to. I have done Lindora 6 times, lost than gained it all back immediatley.:cry

I have not noticed a cycle for myself. But I think this fill may be pretty close to the "sweet spot". I am only able to eat about 1/2 cup at Breakfast and lunch and 1 cup to 1 1/2 cups at dinner. But that varies daily. Yesterday I wasn't able to eat hardly at all. I chocked on all my food and had to force dinner down. I felt weak and needed the calories.

I am really focusing on the bandster rules, eating Protein first, than veggies, Water loading inbetween meals. Just started up my liquid Vitamins again also.

I have not started up a good work out routine yet, but I swim about 4 times a week.

I am not as hungry as I was before this fill. I keep the full feeling longer between meals. I was able to eat anything and everything before this last fill. I am doing a Liquid Protein day today. I am about to start TOM and if I was tight yesterday, I don't think I will be able to get food down to well. I was even tight with my Water today.

Anyway, there is a little about me. Thanks again for the welcome!!!!

Audree

[JulieNYC 4]

Audree,

It sounds like you're at the sweet spot. I predict you'll find it easier to meet the first goal than you think, now that your band is really helping you. WOOHOO! It is so liberating to have your body "just say no" (I was a grade schooler in the Reagan years and Nancy burned that phrase into me) to large quantities. I can't wait to see your ticker movin'.

Boo,

//I think part of the sadness from others' reactions come from the realization that while I was heavier, my weight/size was such an obvious flaw in me.//

Yes. I hadn't put it together before I read your post, but that's exactly what the other component is for me. There's sadness over what I sometimes perceive as the wasted time, but then sadness at the existence of the obvious flaw in myself as well. Thanks. It helps to identify the feeling.

Well, yall, I got in a 3 mile run tonight and walked another mile or so afterwards. Then I got my nails done because I'm going on that date on Thursday night with the cute colleague. We're going "club hopping" after dinner, which is SO NOT ME, or so not the old me anyway. I feel like a teenager again.

[Boo 3]

Club hopping? (giggle!!) Sounds very fun! Enjoy it, Julie.

NSV: Got to 4 miles in 36:31, then 6 miles in 56:31. That is a new record for me!

[TexasBecky 1]

<p>Unfortunately I can never completely put the heavy days behind me forever, no matter how much I lose. People have a history with me. New friends don't know about my ups and downs and that is always a refreshing dynamic, but family and old friends are another story. If I lose alot of weight I am forever more the girl who use to be so heavy. If I regain weight I am the girl who lost all the weight and regained it. If I lose it and keep it off forever, I am still the girl who lost all that weight. There are pictures that will forever torment me. I have to accept that other people's reactions are not always what I wish they were and try to recognize that those around me are only human. I like to think that most of them don't mean to hurt my feelings. They can't help but think of the former me and I just have to deal with it as one of the side effects of having been MO. This whole process is just so complicated. If only it was all about the physical. It's the emotional stuff that you're not expecting that can throw you for a loop.

[JulieNYC 4]

....If I lose it and keep it off forever, I am still the girl who lost all that weight.

Becky,

I think time does help with that, though. People are very self-centered and I do think they forget the old you over time, at least when there's nothing directly reminding them of it (like looking at an old picture, etc.). I have an aunt who lost a lot of weight in her 20s and has kept it off (she's in her 50s now). People don't even think of her as having ever been heavy. The only one who's ever mentioned it to me was my step-dad, and he only did it as a source of intended motivation for me when I was in my early 20s. It's just not part of who she is now.

I don't know if we'll ever attain quite that level of "putting it behind us," but I do think temporal distance helps. I'm grasping tightly to the belief that one day my life won't only be about weight.

[vonnie150 0]

I too have a distorted body image. I am 15 lbs below my goal & wear a 4 or 6 pants,yet I feel fat due to all the loose hanging skin. Thank God my abdomen has always been reasonally flat so I dont have much flabby tissue there. My arms were huge so now they have lots of flabby skin & I'm never comfortable in sleeveless blouses. I still feel fat ever though everybody tells me how skinny i am. My lap band was almost 3 yrs ago.

[DietPepsi59 0]

Vanesa,

I was reading your post and we are apparently about the same size. I was banded on 10/31/07 and have lost 101 putting my current weight at 147. I am wearing 8 and 10, but still feel fat. I have no concept of what I look like. I unfortunately had a slippage and had to get a new band last week. I am feeling great and still would like to loose another 10 pounds. I just wish my eyes could see what everyone else see.

[tonijo 0]

this thread is exactly what I needed to hear. I am truly struggling with the way I feel on the inside, I kno w these issues are hard to discuss or think about, because I ask myself, "what do you have to complain for, your thin now, But speeding up the mind to catch my body has been a small struggle.

Thanks,

tonijo

12/26/06-92lbs lost 8 more to go

[deckedout 0]

Hi Audree,

Nice to hear from you again, I have not been on much lately either. I, too, have been plateaued for EVER. Like, since April. I am really pushing the workouts while I'm on summer break. I have been doing aerobics in the morning for about an hour, than lifting weights for 20 minutes, then swimming for about 45 minutes. It burns about 1200 calories, which allows me to eat 1200-1500 calories and still keep 1000 calorie deficit. It is my TOM right now, so I really haven't been able to tell if it is working, but I think so. I have my next fitness test next Tuesday, then I will know what my % fat is and all that. At the end of last month I was at 29.5, down from 31.6 at the beginning of that month, when I first started the program.

I'm really hoping to being close to 25%, but we will see. It is really exciting to see the numbers change. Last month my weight went UP 2.8 lbs, but because I lost fat and gained muscle, my body fat % went down, which is what I was hoping for.

[Pacomomma 0]

I can understand when others do not know who you are. My ex-mother-in-law passed away last month and I have been divorced for 10 yrs so all my (in laws) know me as overweight. Well At the funeral my ex-sister-in-law thought I was my 20 yr old son's girlfriend. my did she ever turn a few shades of red after she found out who I was. In the begining it was fun to get the ohhsand awws now I would like to have people start seeing me as a person rather than a "fat girl with such a nice face"

any suggestions ???

[BabyGotBack 0]

Audree,

It sounds like you're at the sweet spot. I predict you'll find it easier to meet the first goal than you think, now that your band is really helping you. WOOHOO! It is so liberating to have your body "just say no" (I was a grade schooler in the Reagan years and Nancy burned that phrase into me) to large quantities. I can't wait to see your ticker movin'.

Boo,

//I think part of the sadness from others' reactions come from the realization that while I was heavier, my weight/size was such an obvious flaw in me.//

Yes. I hadn't put it together before I read your post, but that's exactly what the other component is for me. There's sadness over what I sometimes perceive as the wasted time, but then sadness at the existence of the obvious flaw in myself as well. Thanks. It helps to identify the feeling.

Well, yall, I got in a 3 mile run tonight and walked another mile or so afterwards. Then I got my nails done because I'm going on that date on Thursday night with the cute colleague. We're going "club hopping" after dinner, which is SO NOT ME, or so not the old me anyway. I feel like a teenager again.

I sure hope so!!!!

I am so restricted right now. I am not sure if it is my fill finally kicking in after 2 weeks or that I am about to start my period.

I have been having Protein Shakes in the earlier part of the day and had tuna for dinner today. I had to choke down the first 6 bites, feeling it coming up, but not pbing. The last few bites were better. But I knew I needed the nutrients.

Has this happened to anyone?

I have not ever really had restriction, not since right after surgury, so this is all new to me.

Have fun on your date!!!!

Audree

[BabyGotBack 0]

Hi Audree,

Nice to hear from you again, I have not been on much lately either. I, too, have been plateaued for EVER. Like, since April. I am really pushing the workouts while I'm on summer break. I have been doing aerobics in the morning for about an hour, than lifting weights for 20 minutes, then swimming for about 45 minutes. It burns about 1200 calories, which allows me to eat 1200-1500 calories and still keep 1000 calorie deficit. It is my TOM right now, so I really haven't been able to tell if it is working, but I think so. I have my next fitness test next Tuesday, then I will know what my % fat is and all that. At the end of last month I was at 29.5, down from 31.6 at the beginning of that month, when I first started the program.

I'm really hoping to being close to 25%, but we will see. It is really exciting to see the numbers change. Last month my weight went UP 2.8 lbs, but because I lost fat and gained muscle, my body fat % went down, which is what I was hoping for.

That is so awesome Jane!

What kind of program are you doing?

I used to be so disciplined about my workouts and now I just can't seem to get motivated again.

I think I am very overwhelemed in my life right now. I am in survival mode these days. It was hard enough having to diet all this time since I didn't have much restriction. I had been stalled like you since about the end of March/April.

What can I do to get my butt moving??? How do I get motivated again???

Take care and keep in touch!!!

Audree

[deckedout 0]

Audree,

I'm not sure what you can do to get yourself motivated. I'm faking motivation right now, just forcing myself to stick to my diet and exercise. I'm hoping I'll lose a few pounds and that will motivate me to continue, if it doesn't, I don't now what I'll do.

I had pretty much given up for a little while, a month or so of eating and drinking what ever I wanted when ever I wanted. I know I don't need another fill, at least I'm pretty sure I don't because I'm pretty tight sometimes. But, I keep the thought in the back of my mind.

I'm not really on any type of exercise program. I am signed up for one class at my club, it is called Personal Training Boot Camp. Every Tuesday and Thursday morning at 530 about 6 of us meet with a personal trainer and she takes us through circuit training for an hour. At the end and beginning of each month you can get your body measurements and fat % checked. I had it done at the beginning of the first month, and then I'll do it at the end of each month.

She taught us how to use the weight room and which exercises we should do and much weight for each one. So, after that class, I go lift weights.

On Mondays and Wednesdays at the same time, there is a step aerobics class for an hour that I go to. After that I lift weights as well.

AFter weights, I go down to the pool and swim laps. I have been swimming since October, and stopped for a little while when I started the classes. However, I figured out that the classes alone where not burning enough calories to lose the weight, so I added the swimming back in, at least for the summer.

When school starts back up, I won't be able to exercise as long in the mornings, so I'll have to figure out something else to do. I'm hoping that I will be pretty close to goal then (fingers crossed) and it won't be as hard on me to lose slowly. Either that, or I will have to find the energy to go for long walks after school. Anyway, I'm trying not to think that far ahead and just worry about the next 6 weeks.

If I do well, I could lose 12 lbs before school starts, then I'll be really close to goal.