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My daughter is considering lapband but is so scared of surgery-what to tell her?



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:help:Our daughter is considering lap band. She has her 1st appt with the surgeon tomorrow. She's so unhappy being so big (size 16 or better) but is terrified of surgery. What can I tell her to ease her mind?

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I just had lap band 1 week ago and am feeling really good now. The surgery was no problem...anesthsia was fine. Recovery was 2 days of feeling a bit out of with (pain meds) and moving slow. Next I had 2 days of gas/shoulder pains, 2 days of feeling like I was recovering and now I am doing well. I have lost 11 pounds already! The recovery first couple days is the worst part, not really painful as in bad pain, just uncomfortable. Plan to lay low for a week and she will be fine.

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How old is your daughter? Would this be her first surgery?

As far as surgeries (and I've had a few) LapBand was for a me a major NON-event!! It's not that easy for everyone but it's seldom a painful or scary thing.

Now life after LapBand is another story. If she's quite young (a teenager?) there will be lots of challenges and a major lifestyle adjustment more than likely. She (and you - because it affects the whole family) need to do lots of reading on the message boards as well as the websites by different clinics and doctors.

Most 'infomercials' for the lapband now give the impression that afterward you can eat whatever you want, you just eat less of it. That may be true for some people, but I personally have never have heard of many....there are many changes and adaptions to be made and every person's exerience is different.

That is not to say I am sorry I had it done but my motiviation was more extreme that the size of my jeans - it was to save my life. I have been successful and I'm thrilled with my band, but at my stage of life I figure I've eaten/tasted my share of every kind of food there is....I don't miss any of it now. And I am old enough I don't care what other people thing about my eating habits, etc - it is probably much different for a young girl.

She probably needs to talk with a professional about her relationship with food and about how she'll handle the peer pressure of being a little different before making a decision.

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She will be 21 on August 2nd. She will be a senior in college this fall and will graduate in the spring and go on to grad school after that. She has battled her weight all of her life but really got heavy when she went away to school. There are health issues as well as size issues. I am a breast cancer survivor which puts her at high risk. All of the extra fat puts excess estrogen into her system. Diabetes runs in the family - both type one and two as well as high blood pressure and heart disease. I've also had my colon & spleen removed so dietary issues are not new to us. She is scared because she's never had surgery before and also because she's seen me go through some pretty hairy operations. I don't know how to calm her fears about "going under". Luckily, a good friend is going with her - she's a newly graduated nurse. I'm hoping that will help.

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And, how great that you had the courage to save your life! I'm in awe of the folks that we've met attending the seminars. They have been so kind and helpful. Are there any groups - on line or off - for young women her age?

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Okay....since she is educated and obviously intelligent and is wanting to do this for the right reasons....I wish her the best!! My concern was that she was too young to appreciate the seriousness of weight loss surgery. I see so many young girls on line posting and whining about not being able to eat pizza and cokes.....and wondering why they've only lost 20 lbs in a year. But it sounds like your daughter knows from life experiences already what serious illness is and how it affects your life and what her genetic threats are. Since she's doing this for good purpose, she will no doubt we compliant and successful.

Best wishes to you both!!

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"Going under" for me was the anesthesiologist putting a needle into my IV to relax me. The next thing I knew I was waking up from the surgery. Before that, I was joking with the nursing staff and talking with my husband.

I've only had one other surgery before and it was laparoscopic as well, so I don't have anything worse to compare it to. Recovery was pretty easy for me too. I think I took the liquid painkiller the next day, but after that, I was just a bit uncomfortable. sleeping was tricky for a few nights, but that really passed pretty quick too.

Kudos for her for taking control of weight issue at an early age! Because she is so young, she will probably bounce back pretty fast. I wish her the best of luck!

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I am 25 and I just got banded in Mexico on June 7. I am so glad I did. The surgery was not bad at all. The tough day was the first day after surgery because I was sore, but I don't even remember that anymore. I am down 17 pounds now and I am so excited! I would do it again in a heartbeat. I think doing it now will help me in the future to avoid health issues. There is not much we can say to ease the fear of surgery, but I believe it is so worth it!

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I would tell her also that being nervous is very normal and she should communicate that to her nurses and doctor. They will take extra care to make sure she is comfortable thru every stage of surgery & recovery (if it's a good hospital)! Reiterate to her that the anesthesia is awkward when you first wake up because you are SOOOO drowsy and disoriented, but other than that there's nothing to it. The pain that she might experience is managed very well with medications and post-op instructions. Since she is so young, she should be doing very well within 2-3 days.

Also, tell her that 92% of the folks polled on this board have said they would have the surgery again....in a heartbeat! That's pretty darn good.

Once you get underway with your new life, and especially once you lose a few LB's, that surgery is a distant memory!!

I wish you all the best.

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TELL HER YES MOM!!!

I am 20 years old and I just got banded 2 weeks ago. The surgery was hard on me, but totally worth it. I am up on my feet and have lost 27 lbs since December 3!

I know how hard it is to be overweight at our age. But lap band is such a postive life change that when you do it at twenty is the right tool to teach you to eat right the rest of your life.

Tell her not to be scared mom!

Here is my e-mail feel free to have her send me a message if she wants to talk or has questions. kk0194@yahoo.com

And you're doing the right thing by at least talking about it.

--Kareen, TX

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I was scared about the surgery part too. I knew I was going to break down in tears or have an anxiety attack when they put the gas mask on me. But it was totally opposite! Whatever they give you before the anesthesia makes you giddy, so as I fell asleep, I was laughing and felt completely at ease. Then I woke up in what seemed like two minutes, pain-free. Just groggy. The hardest part were the few days after, dealing with the leftover anesthesia in my body. All you can do to alleviate the pain is to walk, which helps build up your strength. If that's her only hesitation, and she's aware and prepared for what lies ahead post-surgery (and the rest of her life), I'd say a few hours in the surgery room trumps a lifetime of battling your own body. I've gone from a size 28 to 20 in 5 weeks. My life is changing before my eyes. I finally have hope that I can be in control of my own health!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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