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my mom died end of April. I have zero interest in food since. What I try to eat A hurts and B makes me sick. Diarrhea daily for almost 2 weeks (how does your body producte BM with hardly any food? About the only thing I can tolerate is a few ounces whole chocolate milk. Pretty sure I'm dehydrated too.

I've lost 6 lbs since yesterday at 5 am.

I am trying to cope but refuse to have the meltdown I need. Idk what to do.

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I would certainly recommend speaking with your surgeon or nutritionist regarding the issues you are having with the bowel movements and difficulty with food. Grief is a difficult thing! It is probably important for you to find someone you can talk to whether professionally or friends and family who can give you support!

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@@kimpossible67, I agree with BizzyB. Grief is a whole-body experience -- not just your heart, not just your head, but every part of you is in pain. Trust me; I know.

Think about putting together a team of folks that can assist right now. We're one part of that team. Your surgeon/nutritionist is another. A therapist might be another. Grief support groups might be another. Friends are another. And so on.

By writing this post, you are asking for help. You want someone to notice your pain. And we do!! Now, we are saying: please put the team together. Make those phone calls tonight -- or tomorrow (Fri) at the latest. Do it before the holiday weekend.

xoxoxo

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I'm so very sorry for your loss. There are no adequate words that I could share that would even touch the type of heartache you must be suffering. Grief is a lonely solitary and very painful journey. My only hope is that you come through it as quickly as possible.

Your mom always put you first throughout your entire life. She wanted nothing more than your well being. The best way to honor her memory and love for you is by taking care of yourself. One day, one step, one second at a time.

My deepest condolences.

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Also maybe get into therapy to deal with your loss

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@@kimpossible67, So sorry to hear of your mom's death. As much as it must feel better to just isolate yourself right now, that is NOT healthy for you. Please take the appropriate care of your physical self FIRST AND NOW. You know that is what your mom wants you to do. Honor her and do that. She would not want you to be hospitalized with dehydration and malnutrition. Reach out to whomever you have to if you just don't have the strength to prepare meals, etc. Ditch the chocolate milk. You don't need the high sugar. Get a few Premier Protein ready-to-drink shakes--Wal-Mart, Walgreens,CVS, all sell them in little 4-packs now.

Your grief is REAL--you don't have to "tough it out" or be strong for anyone. Most importantly, you cannot go through grief alone. As hard as it is right now you HAVE to renew your commitment to yourself that you made when you decided to have your WLS. You said that you would take care of yourself.

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I am so sorry for your loss. Years ago Iost my husband & 10 months later I lost my Mom. It took me 2 years to get into a grief support group. I recommend finding a grief support ASAP. I should have done it sooner. They helped me a lot. My support group was run by a church & for me that was important. It still took some time to get my act together but I hate to think of what would have happened if I never started going to this group. Ask your surgeon about this & hopefully he/she will have a suggestion for you. Or even someone in the office might know of a group. It's so important for you to take better care of yourself. I wish you well in your journey.

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I remember when your mom passed. Sounds like you're having issues with depression, which is manifesting itself physically. It may be time for a visit to a counselor. Please make them aware of your WLS and you current issues with self care. You deserve to be happy. Take care.

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
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      1. LeighaTR

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

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      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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