if i can be honest...(let me know if this happens to you too)

[qnz234 101]

the other night, i was out with my bf, and i confessed to him, that sometimes when im out i still feel like the overweight woman i was before surgery. i forget that i've lost close to 80 lbs and i look damn good for my efforts. it's usually when i see a really slender or nicely built woman. sometimes people stare at me (im 4'8" btw), and im defensive (in my head and via my facial expressions), like wtf are u looking at? i'm two years out and this is still happening. am i the only one? i think i need to go to the next support group meeting. lol

[Babbs 14,680]

I started a thread about this very subject. Seems to be a common problem with us WLS peeps. Here is the thread:

http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/341263-why-is-it-the-more-weight-i-lose-the-fatter-i-feel/

[AvaFern 3,516]

@qnz234 Your ticker says that you're 110 pounds- maybe people are looking at you because they think you're hot!

That being said, I think I will always feel that way. I always said that a woman in the 120's could never be called fat, so while I jump around from 126-129, I should certainly qualify as being in the 120's. Nonetheless, there are days I go in my closet and the size 2 is a little snug, or the 0 won't close the way it did a few days ago and instead of thinking, well damn, my size 0 is snug, I must be bloated, I think...OMG I am getting fat again.

I don't really see people looking at me in public, although I will say, that there are plenty of times when I am out and I see a great looking girl and I'm like, WOW, why can't I look like that? This weekend I was at a bar with a friend and this woman walked in who had this fantastic butt. I wanted to take her to my plastic surgeon and be like...see this butt, make mine like hers. So, if she happened to catch me looking at her, I would say to her...I swear I'm not checking you out or thinking mean things about you, but your figure is amazing and I would love to look like you. Maybe the people looking at you are also having similar thoughts? Everyone has insecurities- not just us.

[qnz234 101]

@qnz234 Your ticker says that you're 110 pounds- maybe people are looking at you because they think you're hot!

That being said, I think I will always feel that way. I always said that a woman in the 120's could never be called fat, so while I jump around from 126-129, I should certainly qualify as being in the 120's. Nonetheless, there are days I go in my closet and the size 2 is a little snug, or the 0 won't close the way it did a few days ago and instead of thinking, well damn, my size 0 is snug, I must be bloated, I think...OMG I am getting fat again.

I don't really see people looking at me in public, although I will say, that there are plenty of times when I am out and I see a great looking girl and I'm like, WOW, why can't I look like that? This weekend I was at a bar with a friend and this woman walked in who had this fantastic butt. I wanted to take her to my plastic surgeon and be like...see this butt, make mine like hers. So, if she happened to catch me looking at her, I would say to her...I swear I'm not checking you out or thinking mean things about you, but your figure is amazing and I would love to look like you. Maybe the people looking at you are also having similar thoughts? Everyone has insecurities- not just us.

that is quite the possibility. i've always been a humble person, even before i gained the weight. so now it's just like a bunch of thoughts...is my gut showing? do my legs look crazy? lol should i not be wearing this? lol but then i have to tell myself, screw them...i've certainly seen worse, and damn it, it took a lot to get here lol...but if they are thinking good things...then i just need to get out of my own head.

[The Candidate 3,215]

Our heads will always play mind games. It is very common to feel this way. I know I have at the height of every diet success. I think, especially, if you've been heavy for the majority of your life, it comes with the territory. And with every past diet and ultimate failure you begin to train yourself to expect to become fat again. Sad but true. We can become our own worst enemies.

Support groups are good, these forums help too. I also began over a year ago making video journals for myself so I will always have visible proof not only of how my looks changed, but also audio proof of how my mentality changed, as I gain confidence and self assurance. I think as you get further and further out from surgery your internal body image will eventually catch up with the outer changes that everyone else can already see.

Both inside and out you are beautiful, always keep that in mind!

[qnz234 101]

@@The Candidate thank you for that

[The Candidate 3,215]

You're so welcome. You're just going to get better day by day. ❤️