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Weight effecting your kids?



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I am probably less than 2 months away from having surgery. My pre-op consultation with my surgeon is July 10th. I knew my weight was effecting my family because of my lack of energy and motivation makes it hard for me to play with them as much. Last night my son whose just finishing up Pre-k came home with his portfolio with all his work throughout the year in it. As I was flipping through it he had a picture of me and I was huge compared to everyone else in his pictures, I asked him why and he replied" Because you have a big belly" he's only 5 years old and loves me very much and means no harm. Him saying this brought me to tears and a great realization of how much detail he is actually aware of that I never even gave a thought too. I don't want my children to see me as big and unhealthy. I know that's a big reason why I am getting the surgery to begin with is to have a better quality of life for me and for them. I haven't stopped thinking about what he said all night. I have fallen behind with my weight loss a little and now it's opened my eyes again to keep this going because it's a life long battle and both my kids and I deserve this. In order to achieve this I have to be successful and work at it, after last night I know I want this now more than ever. My question is has anyone ever had comments from your kids or anything and how did it make you feel?

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my uncle was over at the house with my aunt who had brought me some clothes she thought I would like. I love them both tremendously but both of them make comments that are hard to hear from people who have been my "parents" since losing my mom in 1986 and my dad in 1970. Things like "it was the biggest size they had" to "you may not be able to do____because you are so big" is what I have heard as recently as the first of May. I would be able to handle my 5 y/o grandson saying that I have a big belly (he has told me) because I know he is being honest. I DO have a big belly. But to hear an adult family members make comments like I have heard is hard. I finally said something like this to my uncle "gee I know, tent sized clothing, right?" I think I made my point. I was wearing around a 2X. I know there are larger sized clothes but to roll your eyes and say that to your adult neice? They came over a few days ago - no negative clothing or weight comments :D

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Congrats on your weight loss! Yes I've heard stuff from my mother like "Wow I didn't know you weighed that much" "You've never been this big before" or constantly telling me that she doesn't have a butt and she only weighs 172 and blah blah blah. Seriously I swear she does it on purpose. I'm going to fight this battle of mine and come out on the other side of which I'll only receive good comments....I have to believe that!

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
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    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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