Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Dinner invitations...



Recommended Posts

What do you say when you are invited to a dinner celebration, and you still have restrictions? I've been invited to a birthday celebration at a restaurant (I am hoping I can find something on the menu that will agree wth my sleeve) & I have been invited to a friend's who will cook dinner. I would never want anyone to limit their options because of me, but at the same time, I don't want to insult the host by "picking" at my food. How do you handle these situations? FYI I am only 7 weeks post Op.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always preview menus on line when I'm going to restaurants, and that helps a lot. I try to pick two things on the menu i could happily order, so in case one has been dropped or they are out of it, I still have options that don't make me have to re-think things in the moment.

Since I've not told many people about my WLS, and my job requires that i eat out or at people's homes fairly regularly, I have a cadre of things I say now!

I'm really trying to eat carefully and eat less, and this tastes great - thank you so much for making it.

I'm so sorry, i seem to have a bit of an upset stomach...(not exactly a lie, since removing 85% of my stomach is definitely an 'upset' to my guts!)

Could you give me just about half that much? I'll come back for seconds if I can, but I'm working hard on my weight right now.

And when they ask about restrictions ahead of time, I usually just say, I'm avoiding starchy carbs these days (and maybe include beef or pork in that) and I'll be fine eating a bit of whatever you fix.

When leaving food on my plate, Gosh, thanks - this was great! I just find I'm needing to eat less these days.

So far no one has been hurt or bugged by this, and after I get over saying it (if I even need to) I find people really don't much notice what i eat anyway. Now that I've been visibly losing weight too, people have noticed and are happy for me, so they really don't say much about what I chose to eat because they've seen that whatever i'm doing is working for me. So nice!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If it's at a restaurant, you can order off the a la cart menu. That's what I did. You can order Soup, or something else that is ok for your limitations. I went to Breakfast with my family the other day. I ordered of the "a la cart" menu and got 2 eggs any style (scrambled). When everyone's meals came, I scraped 1/2 my eggs onto my hubby's plate, because no way I would be able to eat all them eggs!! Plus they would just get cold if I waited till I was done before letting him have the rest. I am pretty good an knowing how much I can eat...............and it ain't much! (4 weeks out)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never hesitated telling anyone about my surgery, so I tell them upfront NOT to be upset with me if I can't eat their delicious offerings, or much of it. All have totally understood and respected me for this. Restaurants are another story, though; it seems wait-staff have more difficulty understanding why you don't eat more, so I just tell them I've had surgery...they don't need to know more, and usually don't ask.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm still working this one out. I'm 3.5 weeks post-op (surgery on 27th April). I declined a dinner invitation to a friends house last night as I didn't want to cause a hassle once I was there. I didn't know what she was planning on cooking and didn't want to be rude by just picking pathetically at her food. 3 of my very close friends know I've had the surgery (one of which had a VSG done a bit over 12 months ago) and they are really understanding but I'm generally not telling everybody.

I did attend 3 days of training last week for work where lunch was supplied. I was nervous about how that would go. On the first day I brought some Soup with me but didn't end up eating it. Luckily it was a lot of little finger foods so my pathetically empty plate went less noticed as many people were going back for many rounds of little things. I managed to find some things I could eat - some veggie fritatta (which I did A LOT of picking at)... ate a bit of the egg and some of the veggies that were soft enough... and actually managed 1/4 of an egg sandwich (i was surprised by this as bread isn't introduced for weeks yet).. and some slices of kiwi fruit. I basically spent the whole time chewing.. I figured if I turned it into soup in my mouth then I should handle it ok. And that theory pretty much worked :)

We have a social club dinner with work tomorrow night at a pub. I would like to go but know it will be a challenge. the meals will be huge so my little pickings wont make any indent on them at all.. That's if I can find something to pick at in the first place :/

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 1 reply
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×