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Is it CHEATING or is it a CHOICE?



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@@JustWatchMe

GREAT testimony! That's what it's all about!

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If you are sabotaging your success through bad choices, you are not going to get a hug from me...but I would remind you that Einstein said ""No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." If you are making bad choices, you are going to have to dig to a different level to figure out why.

As I prepped for surgery I did a bunch of work on the mental/emotional side of my food issues. If you are having these issues again, time to go back to do that work.

Get "The Emotional First+Aid Kit, A Practical Guide to Life After Barbaric Surgery" by Alexander. Very good book I went through BEFORE my surgery.

All my sleeve can ever be is a tool. It's not a magic wand. I make choices to go to the gym, get my Protein et. al. I remind myself before each lift to do it harder and better than before and make every workout count. You are nothing more than the sum of your choices to date.

If you can't thank God, yourself and all that is that you have been given a great opportunity for tremendous change, then go back and figure out why. I am immensely grateful for all the great changes in my life. If you are not, then figure out why. NOTE: I said WHY, not WHINE.

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Good topic!

Of course it’s a choice. But I think it’s just a question of how we use the word “cheating.” It’s not “cheating” the same way you can “cheat” in high school. You can “cheat” on an algebra test, get an “A,” get into a great college, and major in English, and you’ll “win” by getting a great job and nobody will ever know or care you don’t know algebra. (Sssh…don’t tell the high schoolers who are BariatricPal members and reading this!). The only “punishment” is you’ve compromised your ethics.

In WLS, the “cheating” is different because it’s not a short cut to the outcome you want. It’s something that stands in your way. Overeat, and stop losing weight, whether or not you admit it to yourself or anyone else.

Why post about “cheating” on BariatricPal after you’ve done it? Lots of reasons! First, misery loves company. You want to know you’re not the only one who’s ever messed up. And maybe you can get inspired by someone else who messed up but got back on track and is doing great now. Or maybe posting is your way of making it official to yourself or others that you’re now ready to be accountable and get back on track.

So yes…it is a choice…but I think we can still use the word “cheating” to describe it. :)

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Oh. I've totally screwed up. I've over eaten, I've had "bad" foods, I've skipped meals, I've done all kinds of "terrible" things, but I've never CHEATED.

It's always been my CHOICE. I am very aware of that. That's the point of my original post.

Yes it's totally a choice and I've made several of them that were quite questionable, lol! But I'm learning to just own up to it, move on and get back on track! I try not to beat myself up too bad for it and get it together on the next meal.

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It's definitely a choice. But there's nothing wrong with posting and still trying to find out of others have done the same.

That would be asking for justification for your bad choices.

We are only human. We make mistakes and bad choices. But at least own up to it.

I feel that by posting about it we are owning up to it. As this is a journey, we want to know we are not alone. Guarantee anything you have done, someone else has done and can offer support, advice, wisdom, etc.

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Good thread. I have taken the word "cheat" out of my vocabulary. Why? In my opinion it is counter productive and just brings people down. I am NOT a cheater. I may not always make the best decisions but that is part of the journey.

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Oh. I've totally screwed up. I've over eaten, I've had "bad" foods, I've skipped meals, I've done all kinds of "terrible" things, but I've never CHEATED.

It's always been my CHOICE. I am very aware of that. That's the point of my original post.

That's how I look at it. No one is forbidding me to eat some of the things I shouldn't ( then I would want it more ????) it's been " my choice" not to eat it

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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