Holding on to hope for this revision (sorry, sort of unusual post...)

[wicked 61]

Hey everyone,

I'm close to my revision date (May 13), and I'm going through a difficult time. I'm at a point in my life in which people using my weight against me in cruel ways has started to really get to me (or maybe it always did but I pushed it away). I realized this morning that the only thing that keeps me going is the hope for a better future after my revision from lap-band to bypass. While I recognize that the bypass won't be a magical cure (I already failed the lap-band so that naivete is gone), I must hold on to the belief that this time around the journey will be different, maybe not less challenging, but much more rewarding. I know I have to do the work, but hopefully it will be better without something inside me working against me.

I'm tired of my weight being used against me. I'm a social worker and just yesterday a displeased client came to my workplace and made a scene in the reception center, screaming, "F*ck that fat bi*ch" over and over again. I can't begin to describe how embarrassed I felt. My weight has nothing to do with the reason why she is displeased, but it is always so easy for people to go there because it's the cheapest way to hurt.

Not long ago, I was walking down the street and someone trying to sell comedy tickets was getting frustrated because no one was stopping. When I didn't stop either, he yelled at me something along the lines of, "That's why you are fat." As always, I just kept walking. What else can you do?

I know that people who lower themselves to those level should not be able to hurt my feelings; intellectually I know it very well. I know that they are cruel and unhappy... but intellect and emotions are different, and just because I know something intellectually, it doesn't mean that I know it emotionally.

Yes, I want to be healthy and live a long life, but the truth is that I want to lose weight first and foremost because I'm tired of the discrimination and the cruelty.

I'm holding on to May 13 as the beginning of a new life. I'm reading the success stories on this forum and I try to imagine myself there too. I don't know how I would be able to function right now without this hope.

[stleochic 5]

I think you'll be great! People are morons, and the ones who have the most to say are usually the ones who are the most insecure. I always think that post surgery will feel like Julia Roberts in pretty woman where she went back to the store with all the bags. "You work on commission right? (Holds up shopping bags) Big mistake! Huge! (Turns around and walks out)" You'll get that moment soon!

[NewlifeBarb 8]

WOW!!! I too have the Lap Band and feel that I failed with it, so I'm scared of it happening with the bypass. I'm so ready for this change to come. Like you I know that I have to work at it. People can say what they want but we are discriminated against. I read the success stories and listen to those in the support group and pray that soon I will be one of them. You hang in there and let us BELIEVE that a change is going to come. I'm working on my 10lbs loss before surgery. Don't have a date yet but I hope that will come soon!