Depression kicked my A** this winter!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

I have been sick with a deep onset of depression this season. And have visited the Dr. who has given me some extra meds. to try to help with my emotions and racing mind......

I have tried so hard to be positive here or to my family or be positive about anything for that matter!

It has been as difficult as being a WLS patient and keeping my **** together in that area...

Anyone else fighting this beast or anything else this winter that has made it difficult to eat the right things or do the right things or even say the right things to loved ones or to other people....

[downsizingdiva 459]

ME TOO...DEPRESSION ANXIETY NAUSEA INSOMNIA, CAN'T KICK IT, FEEL HOPELESS

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

ME TOO...DEPRESSION ANXIETY NAUSEA INSOMNIA, CAN'T KICK IT, FEEL HOPELESS

I'm glad to know I am not alone.....It sucks eh!

[LivingFree! 478]

Sorry you are having a hard time with depression right now. You are not alone. I have found among my WLS support groups that people just do not talk about the mental stuff which makes it all the more difficult for those of us who suffer with depression. Still such a stigma about it. So, first, thank you for being open and talking about your depression.

Been treating for major depression for many, many years. Sailed through WLS the first 3-1/2 years without any serious depressive challenges, then P-O-W -- at 3-1/2 years (and for these past 6 months), I don't know what's hit me. I guess, sadly, that's often the nature of depression. It is SOOO hard to fight it when all you want to do is NOTHING, but we have to remember that those of us who suffer from depression are RESILIENT. We have to be. Depression cannot win.

I've built a "Self-Care Toolkit" for myself over the years, but even in the throes of this depression, it's hard to pull it out and use it. It is a simple list of about 25 "go to" things I can choose to do when depression begins threatening to paralize me again. It also serves as a reminder to me when it feels like there is nothing that matters, that there ARE things that matter, and this bout of depression is only temporary.

I'm sure you have your own remedies to help you through, but may I share a few things that do tend to help me get through these challenging days and keep putting one foot in front of the other. . .

1) MUSIC touches my soul. I've made playlists on my Kindle of inspirational/motivational/meaningful selections. I try to make each playlist no more than five songs, so about 15 minutes total. One is of just children's songs (love those old childhood tunes and kids singing!); one is my favorite hymns; one is folk music from '60/70s Peter,Paul,Mary, etc); one is Disneyland songs; you get the idea--whatever music lifts YOUR spirits. Sometimes I sit quietly with earphones; sometimes I connect to a speaker.

2) The other thing that helps me is to purposely set out to do some small GOOD DEED for a stranger during my day. It's usually just something very simple--like helping a mom pushing a stroller with opening a door, or saying a kind word to someone. But when I intentionally do something nice for someone, it just makes me feel better, and I can reflect on that during my day instead of my personal miseries.

3) Do you do any MEDITATION? I know that some people are turned off by even just the word. Something as simple as just sitting with your eyes closed and doing deep belly breathing can really help with racing thoughts and relaxation.

So glad you are getting temporary help with seeing your doc and increasing your meds. Staying connected with our medical team is always so important. I know for me anyhow, sometimes I try to "fight it" too much. Depression is what it is. I have educated myself with the tools (with LOTS of professional help) to gently bring myself out of it. Is it easy? NO, NO, NO. As long as I know, once the day has ended, that I have made SOME effort to help myself claw back to better mental health, I let it be and move on to a better tomorrow.

Take extra good care of yourself and my wish for you is to get back to your "full strength" soon!

[borg/assimilated 576]

Sorry to hear of your depression, RJ,s/beginning. I don't want to make this simplistic but winter for those of us that live in the north can be very depressing. I do not suffer from clinical depression (not yet anyway) however, I find winter to be very challenging. I hope your new med.'s and a change of season will bring you some relief.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,358]

Thank you for your kind responses. Some of the things you said I do put into practice. I am learning to meditate more. It is hard to settle your mind long enough to do it. But I am working on it.

The mind racing is very hard for me. It almost screams at me it is going so fast like a race car. I have excepted that many people have the view that you just need to pull your socks up and get going but I know better.

For those out there that suffer with any kind of depression it makes things more complicated because you have your brain working against your body. Not good when you are trying to deal with that and a food addiction at the same time.....

Thank you ladies

[LivingFree! 478]

Thank you for your kind responses. Some of the things you said I do put into practice. I am learning to meditate more. It is hard to settle your mind long enough to do it. But I am working on it.

The mind racing is very hard for me. It almost screams at me it is going so fast like a race car. I have excepted that many people have the view that you just need to pull your socks up and get going but I know better.

For those out there that suffer with any kind of depression it makes things more complicated because you have your brain working against your body. Not good when you are trying to deal with that and a food addiction at the same time.....

Thank you ladies

When I first started meditating, all I cared about was focusing on the air going in and out of my nose and mouth, and how it felt while it was going into my lungs and exiting my lungs. Period. No worries about doing it "right" or beating myself up if my intruding thoughts got in the way. I'd just go back to focusing on just breathing. And at first I never "set a time" to do it. I just did it a minute or two here and there when my mind raced (which was pretty much all the time). The more I did it, the more my body and mind began to crave it.

Those people who say about depression to just "pull your socks up and get going" I do believe are most likely many of the same folks who say that WLS is "the easy way out!"

More on racing thoughts--have you done any exploring in CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) on thought stopping? Maybe you're familiar with the chapter on thought stopping in "The Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook" by Martha Davis, Eshelman, McKay? Or maybe you can just Google "thought stopping" and find something that might help you? I know this might sound strange, but sometimes I just close my eyes and picture a big red stop sign and shout to myself "STOP." It does tend to shock the ol' brain into behaving (at least for a little while)! I do also use this sometimes with a food craving that I want to control as well. It gives me a second to break that autopilot reaction so I have a better fighting chance to make a wise eating/snacking decision.