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What are you looking for in a support group?



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I may soon begin facilitating a small group for bariatric patients. I am looking for suggestions and input as to what you are looking for in a small group. I have run and been a part of support groups in the past. One of the biggest problems is having 10 people in the group and getting through only 2 in terms of getting a turn to share what's on your mind. To resolve this I am proposing utilizing a 5 minute timer and going through the entire group. Then opening things up for discussion. I know it may seem callous but everyone should have a chance to share. That time to share can make a world of difference to a person. What is your opinion? Have any suggestions?

Thanks for the input!

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When I first attended a bariatric surgery support group meeting, I almost decided to not have the surgery. Almost everyone in the group recited horror story after horror story. Then I reasoned that the main reason for this is that either the people attending the support group meeting are pre surgery or they are the individuals that are experiencing severe post surgery problems. The individuals that are free of any complications just do not feel a need to attend support group meetings.

That is not the case now. The whole flavor of our support group is different. But the tone of the meetings is very important.

I think it is important to first identify the general goals of the meeting:

Provide advice to those who are about to undergo the process.

Help those that have undergone surgery and experienced complications to resolve their problems.

Share information

Discuss individual success stories both in terms of weight loss and NSVs.

I like to bring in something for show and tell at each meeting. People get excited about show and tell.

Sharing a before and after picture is a good visual for the success of the surgery.

Edited by James Marusek

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I like your moderator rules. I chose to stop attending our local group. 35 of us and we couldn't get thru introductions and the 1 and 1/2 hour group was over.

The moderator would say we are gonna separate into pre and post surgery groups... Sigh... Never got there.

Time management is critical in my opinion...

Good luck on your group!

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I take it this is not a counseling group? I ran therapy groups for years so it is difficult for me to answer without referencing group therapy techniques. But you could do written exercises as a way to limit those lengthy speakers. You would ask each individual to share. You also could ask for one or two word answers....asking for the most powerful word they can think of. You could have feeling words or thoughts on laminated paper and do all different techniques/ exercises to illicit input on different subjects from different people. You definitely need to redirect individuals who sway from the topic...include this as part of your guidelines. Most certainly set up other guidelines...although I think 5 minutes is a long time. If you have a regular long winder then I would remind them of the guidelines if they ignore them.

Frankly these type of individuals usually don't respond well to this type of intervention and will see themselves as being slighted and treated unfairly. They may even threaten to not return or complain about you...just stick to your guidelines.When in therapy this would become an issue to work on but that is not likely appropriate in a group you are speaking of.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
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