Do family/friends honor your bariatric dietary needs?

[My Bariatric Life 764]

An interesting observation...

It was many years ago that I had bariatric surgery, and even more years since I've followed weight loss diets pre-operatively. I recall that whether it was that I was following a weight loss diet to try to defeat obesity, or after my surgery following the bariatric diet to achieve weight loss, that family often did not take my dietary needs into consideration. I'd come for dinner or an event and food was presented that I could not eat.

However, once I developed celiac disease and lactose intolerance and thus have specific dietary needs (not unlike I had specific dietary needs as a bariatric patient) that those same family members take those specific needs into account when I come for a meal.

To me, this falls into the category of weight bias. Why are the dietary needs of celiac and lactose intolerance taken seriously and the dietary needs for weight loss or bariatrics take lightly by "society?"

[Healthy_life2 8,319]

My immediate family have taken the time to learn with me about what foods needed for bariatrics. The rest of my friends and family try but fail with foods. I'm also a type one diabetic. Sometimes I still see the wrong foods presented for my situation.

Part of this is the lack of knowledge on Bariatrics. People still see this as we are dieting or just can only eat a small amount.

[Jenngf5 95]

No they don't "get it". It's my no means malicious. I've been on south beach type food routine since August last year and now I'm one month post op.

Before surgery my stocking had like three pound of chocolate. Luckily I got through v-day with none so that's and improvement for them. But I

Still get "you can have one", I ordered you "a side of corn bread", "a little bit won't hurt you", etc. I keep saying Protein first.

But I do agree it's the lack of knowledge and it's hard for them to change since mom has always enjoyed this or that. They simply don't know what to do.

[ready2B 263]

I am only 3 months out so I haven't been to too many functions with family & friends, but so far everyone has been pretty supportive. However, I don't depend on them to provide me with food I can eat. I make sure I take along with me high Protein, low calorie foods so no matter what is served, I know I can take care of myself and my needs. When I am going out with friends, I check the menus online first and decide ahead of time what I can order. I had a potluck dinner to go to and since I had no idea what others would bring, I brought a dish I knew I could have even if there was nothing else appropriate for me. So far, this has worked out really well.

One of my daughters is a vegan and she has always had this mindset that if she is the one with the special diet needs, it is her job to make sure she has what she can eat, not the job of others. Too many people misunderstand what foods are vegan, so if she doesn't want to get stuck with her only choices being fish or cheese drenched veggies, she knows she needs to be very proactive. So I do the same thing now.

[sassy14 178]

I guess I'm really lucky. The friends who know I had wls are extremely careful to have things I can eat and always ask if there are choices that will work for me. In fact they celebrated my one year surgiversay with a dinner party of all wls friendly food. They had wine with dinner-- I had some before I ate.

I don't expect everything served will work for me-- I need to chose those things that are good for me.

[CheleLynn45 615]

I feel too that it is a knowledge thing when comes to how people understand how to eat after bariatric surgery.

My immediate family and close friends are great. My husband and daughter are so supportive and when we go out to eat always make sure if I need to order what I want and they will share or if I'm okay getting my own meal and taking home leftovers. I love that!

I find that some people mean well but again do not understand how I have to or want to eat now, and that is okay with me. The people that I am around all the time get it and if they don't they ask and then they do. My friends and family really want me to succeed.

My best friend has celiac disease and I have noticed thru the years that people just don't get it sometimes either. I think because outwardly you look fine they don't think anything is actual wrong with her.

[VSGAnn2014 12,992]

Some social events where food is served do require that I pre-plan and navigate the event in real time. But that's on me. So far, no one has held me down and forced food into my mouth.

Plus, my normal-sized friends (with whom I socialize) don't eat mostly fat-food either, so animal Proteins, vegetables, salads, fruits, and whole grains are always on the menu in their homes and on restaurant menus we frequent. It's up to ME (not them) to make sure I don't indulge heavily with breads, sweets and high-calorie drinks.

After all, I am the one who had WLS, not my family or friends.

[bikrchk 1,313]

No. I see it as MY responsibility, not theirs. If I'm going to be somewhere I know I can't get what I want, I eat a Quest bar before I go, otherwise, I can always find SOMETHING I can eat in small quantities. I just make sure if one of my meals is not the healthiest that I've made room for that leaving a few extra calories and having been well supplemented for Protein for the rest of the day so I get what I need.