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Reasons, Excuses and Empty Promises



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Sex? Dating? Quit smoking? Lose weight? - What is it you're putting off?

You know you're doing it. Read on for some food for thought and a double-dog-dare-you challenge.



Today.

Yes, Today.

It's so easy to defer things until later. Until the time is right. Until you're more ready.

I've been there too. You're surrounded by a massive to-do list of things that seem to be a higher priority at the moment...or at least they seem more fun. Do you put off making changes that you know you'll benefit from for reasons that really just wouldn't fly if it were your best friend telling you those things?

Is this you?

I'll start back at exercising....eating better...sleeping more...consider changing jobs....

...once the boys' hockey schedule isn't so hectic...

...after I get my diabetes under control...

...once I know the price of gas will stay down...

...after every ounce of snow melts in Boston ( - and you live in Phoenix!)

You've made promises. Commitments. Resolutions. But haven't followed through. What now?

Empty promises that you make to yourself do more than derail you from your dreams. They rob you of hope. They erode your trust. They can make you feel worthless.

But What if...?

There are what if's in every direction. What if I don't get the job?

Sometimes the opposite question can be even scarier - What if I do lose 80 pounds?

Ouch. A lot of times we don't realize that not knowing how we'd handle positive changes in our lives holds us back as much as or possibly even more than our fear that things might not work out.

It doesn't matter if your nemesis is needing to lose weight, quit smoking, or not sleeping enough to keep yourself focused all day. The core of what paralyze us is often the same.

Whether you're curious about weight loss surgery, have had it, or don't care a lick about it, I invite you to watch this video prepared by the American Society of Metabolic and Bariatric Surgeons (ASMBS - Disclosure: I'm an ASMBS Integrated Health member). Watch it with an open mind. Then - think about what's holding you back.

Now. Make it real.

Say it out loud.

My next request is a big one. Really big. I want you to talk with someone about an important change you want to make and what's holding you back. Talk to anyone. Comment here, tell your doctor, tell your best friend. Tell someone you'll never see again. Say it in a forum, say it to a baby, message me privately. You've got 5 minutes to take action.

Go!

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Yup... I let fear hold me back. I put off the WLS for years. It turned out that it saved my life.

I guess that I did not learn my lesson of allowing fear hold me back because I put off my plastic surgery for 6 or 7 years. It turned out to be the best thing I ever did for myself.

After my plastic surgery I vowed never to let fear hold me back from doing what I want to do (or say). And I am honoring that commitment. I have been living life fully doing things I never would have done in the past. I always say that I am a size 2 and living larger than ever!

Live a life you love. Love the life you live.

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I put off taking care of myself for years and years and years. I don't mean just being overweight or losing weight but truly taking care of myself. Making sure I was healthy and took the time out to make sure I was eating well, and sleeping enough and getting fresh air and sunshine. I was not living mindfully, I was living fully running around at top speed trying to cram a million tasks and to do's into the day. Only to crash into bed exhausted to "nap" as I liked to call it and then get up and run around again and again doing for everyone and everything but myself.

I don't know if I thought I wasn't worthy of my own time, or that I was thinking I'm so OK and together and all these other's knocking down my door are not and it's my responsibility to help them....? I was born with a super power...didn't you know?

Well, in my 20's and 30's it was easier to believe that, but as you cross that threshold of 30 something your body starts to say hold on there Wonder Woman you might be exceptional at a few things but you are no super human!! You are simply you and you need to slow it down and give it a rest or your going to break down.

So I let the body break down and I would get sick or hurt sprain this or that, and I would get back up again and keep on keeping on until the next time my body would break down. I would not fuel it correctly for the speed I wanted to drive it at and I did not make sure I checked the fluids and the tire pressure either I just drove her into the ground.

Finally she was breaking down, getting sick and not breathing right more often then not. I was spending more time at the Dr.'s office then time doing the things I loved doing, and I wasn't helping anything or anyone.

It was then that I woke up. I opened my eyes for the first time and took a good look in the mirror. I didn't see Wonder Woman I saw an sick, tired life beaten old lady who couldn't walk from her office to her car without her heart beating out of her chest and the need to know that one button on the phone could call 911 for help if the heart attack happened today.

It was time to make a change. It was time to take back my life, my time and put Lisa first. She was dying, I was spending all my time hiding behind the premise of helping others...and avoiding myself.

Today, I will admit that there are days when I allow myself to get too bogged down with a million other things...but those are rare days for me now. Today I take the time to be mindful of myself, what I am eating, when and how, as well as what I am doing and saying and my behavior as a whole.

It's not always easy, it's easier to hide behind "good intentions" and excuses but being honest with myself even when it's not pretty makes me feel AMAZING, healthy and happy!

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Great post Lisa.

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    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

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