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I'm not RIGHT, you're not WRONG, WE ARE DIFFERENT.



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It amazes me that so many get their panties in a wad when they post their opinion on a public discussion board and someone else disagrees or posts a counter opinion.

Seriously! It's OK. In most cases, that counter opinion is just that -- opinion. While I do take issue with those who take themselves very seriously and post their opinion as fact, I am happy to say they are few and far between.

We, for the most part, have different surgeons, different NUTs, different metabolisms, different builds, different backgrounds, different thought processes, different psychosis... (JOKING! Kind of.)

There are very few doctors or therapists here. There are NO experts on YOU here, with the exception of yourself. No one is qualified to give you *absolute do or die* advice. No one is in a position to tell you that you are !!!WRONG!!! or that everyone else is. ;)

Relax. Breathe. Discuss. Share. Vent. Listen. Learn.

We all have our hot buttons, we are human. We all have topics we are passionate about. Debate is fun! It's healthy. It's how we learn and grow. It's a positive form of interaction until someone takes it personally. (I'm guilty at times -- I know it!) As long as it's respectful, there is no name calling involved, and there are no personal attacks, there is nothing wrong with it.

I'll tell you a few things about me that are "wrong" and I don't give a rat's patoot if you want to tell me so:

I drink soda. GASP! Even worse, I drink it through a straw! I would never tell anyone else to do the same. That's between you and your doctor.

I graze all day. My sleeve is small, my restriction is fierce. I graze to keep myself from getting too hungry, eating too fast and then vomiting it all back up.

I eat while I work, when I drive, when I watch TV. I find that when I do this, I get distracted and I eat slower. Weird, I know.

I weigh myself 2-4 times a day. First thing in the morning (usually fully dressed in my PJs as I get up at a ridiculously early time of day to get my kids out of the door.) I weigh myself buck naked after kissing them goodbye when it's time to get myself dressed. I weigh myself before and after a poo (giggle) because I have a middle school boy sense of humor. I weigh myself at night, again buck nekky, just before I get in the shower. I call it my step aerobics. It works for me. I don't get frustrated or upset. I never have, even at my fattest.

I eat real chocolate every day. Just a few Hershey Kisses or a Dove Promise (dark!). It quiets the sweet tooth I didn't have pre-op and keeps me from thinking about sweets all day. It's better to feed the beast a nibble and shut it up. FOR ME.

I eat full fat everything except the things I don't. :D

I am choosing not to be a WLS advocate. I don't care HOW people think I am losing weight, I don't care who supports me. I don't tell my business to everyone and it's not up to me to save the world from obesity one fatty at a time. I'm not embarrassed, ashamed or a liar. :D



Your personal experience, your advice from your NUT/surgeon/NP may differ completely. You may be of the opinion that I will be the size of a small whale in 5 year's time. You may think that I am failing myself and my surgery. You may think I am a hypocrite. It's OK.

You do you, I'll do me. We can talk and share and be opinionated together, even when our opinions don't match.

This is a public DISCUSSION board. It's ok to discuss, it's ok to be opinionated. Just expect the same in return. :D

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Sorry just don't agree. ;) Yeah my philosophy is take it with a grain of salt. We are all different and some of us have had different surgeries even, but we all had WLS for the same reason. So we all know what it's like to be obese, so let's just support each other the best way we know how.

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Sorry just don't agree. ;) Yeah my philosophy is take it with a grain of salt. We are all different and some of us have had different surgeries even, but we all had WLS for the same reason. So we all know what it's like to be obese, so let's just support each other the best way we know how.

So...which part don't you agree with? :D

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LOL I LOVE YOUR HONESTY! :)

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@@LipstickLady I love the part about you weighing yourself, I so do the same things. I also wear the same clothes to my weigh ins cause I know exactly how much I will weigh when they adjust for clothing lol.

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LOL---Love your candid! You are so right....I'm not right and you're not wrong!!! I have had a gentleman jump on me more than once because I use GENEPRO??? States he is a doctor.....my question in my mind is always..."if you are a doctor...how do you find time to be on this blog and monitor the discussions......practice must be slow???"...LOL

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LipstickLady,

You have such a flair for writing. Thank you for stating what should be obvious.

Kathleen

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OH my what fun! Well I too eat real butter... about a teaspoon a day. Real Peanut Butter, about 1 1/2 tsp 3x a week. I rarely weigh. Maybe once every 2 weeks. I eat from the garden and real organic meats in small quantities. No artificial sweeteners or additives if I can help it! I love my home made smoothies with frozen fresh fruit I have done myself in the summer and milk and honey. Plain and simple. And oh yes real Godiva or Reeces chocolates one a day! For a snack I have my Gummy Vitamins and minerals with green tea! I keep my body moving with exercise everyday and try to get in 10 miles on elliptical weekly. For fun I dance with anyone who wants to see and old lady boogie! My grandkids are willing anytime... ages 3, 2, 1 1/2 and a new one coming soon. I have had tea parties with Water in plastic tea pot and little plastic cups, no table cloth, no fancy centerpiece, no candles! Grandkids grinning from eat to ear as they take turns pouring! I can sing the "I'm a little teapot short and stout " song and actually bend and pour it out! Fitter is Funner!

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I totally agree. And I love that you are totally honest!! Keep on being you!

~LA

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That is how things should be. Stop getting offended. Stop thinking your plan works better than mine. Stop being overly critical. We are all different beings and we are all trying to find what works for the best for us. I respect everyone and their opinions. I may not agree but that is okay. I am cool with it. No one is an expert here.Carry on and have a good day.

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The truth is, we all have to live the rest of our lives. We all have to do what keeps us sane and happy. If that means some "unhealthy" or "unconventional" choices once in a while (or even every day!), then so be it. Obviously, many (all?) of us are prone to some unhealthy behavior. We wouldn't need WLS in the first place if we were capable to maintaining 100% discipline all of the time. So we should be careful and mindful of what we are doing. But as long as we are honest with ourselves, there is no reason we can't partake of some foods and activities that aren't "ideal" for bariatric patients.

I certainly have my vices! I am back up to 3 cups of coffee a day now since being allowed to start drinking coffee again at 30 days post-op. Is it good for me? Probably not. Is 3 cups going a bit beyond "moderate" consumption? Probably. Am I going to try to cut back? Maybe someday, but not anytime soon.

I also don't track my food! I tracked for a bit in the early days just to make sure I knew what I needed to eat to get enough Protein, but I stopped once I had a good sense of that. I've been on so many diets over the years and been so obsessive about tracking every single bite I ate. I weighed everything. I refused to eat out a lot of the time, because restaurants didn't provide full nutritional info or I felt it was likely inaccurate. I would pass on anything and everything I was ever offered at work or social events because I didn't have the nutrition info and therefor couldn't track it. You know what? I don't want to have to do that for the rest of my life! I don't want to obsess about every single thing that ever crosses my lips. Can I do that for a few months or even a couple of years like I have in the past? Yes! But do I want to do that every day for the next 60 years? NOPE! So I don't track. I keep a vague running total of Protein in my head to make sure I'm getting enough, but that's it.

This is the rest of our lives we are talking about. This is not some diet that we will eventually be "done" with. So if you can't live the rest of your life without drinking soda, or eating fat free everything, or never having chocolate every again, then why should you be expected to? We need to be realistic here! No one knows us like we know ourselves. Keep yourself in check, but a life of deprivation is going to ultimately lead to a lot of misery.

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LOL! This is a great thread! Everyone gets to "confess" and know noone is going to say anything about it. :)

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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