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Help with Nay-sayers



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Guest TooLarge

Want to thank all of you for your responses to this post, which although I was the author, it should help others who have the same dilemma.

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I will be banded next month and I have only told a few people. Infact one friend I have know for 13years doesn't get to know because, they would be negative. I refuse to take my mom to my surgery date, and have choosen to take a friend because, she will support me. This is going to be my day the big day and I want it to go smooth.

My Boss knows and thinks I'm going to die or have complications. I told her that If I don't have this then I could, if I ever got any cor-morbid diseasaes to go along with being fat.

STAND STRONG AND DON'T RATIONALIZE TO MUCH WITH ANYONE. DO IT FOR YOU!!! AND GOOD LUCK!

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I completely understand! The friends I have told have been trying to talk me out of it. My dad even said, "Don't you think you could just lose the weight if you exercise?" Hello, no obviously I can't or I wouldn't need to have the band! Not to mention I need to lose 120 pounds! Do what is right for you!

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I thought about having weight loss surgery for at least 12 years signed up once and backed out. Now I'm self pay and in the last 5 years have really worked on my mental psychological stuff (underlying reasons I'm fat) and have decided that I deserve to be happier, thinner and buy cheap cute clothes. Take a inventory of the pros and cons and go from there

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I'm sure that I am not the only one who has encountered those among their family and friends who tell you not to have surgery for weightloss. I understand their statement and care, but I would like to articulate why I believe I need to try something else. I'm now over 300 lbs in my middle-aged exsitence. I have tried several diets, but usually fall off the wagon due to a birthday, holiday, travel, etc. Does anyone out there have any good words that can help the thin ones understand why I am considering the the lap-band as a tool to help me?:help:

Tell them you are doing it to stay alive and then say don't you want me to live longer? That should do it! Anniemay:clap2:

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I will be banded next month and I have only told a few people. Infact one friend I have know for 13years doesn't get to know because, they would be negative. I refuse to take my mom to my surgery date, and have choosen to take a friend because, she will support me. This is going to be my day the big day and I want it to go smooth.

My Boss knows and thinks I'm going to die or have complications. I told her that If I don't have this then I could, if I ever got any cor-morbid diseasaes to go along with being fat.

STAND STRONG AND DON'T RATIONALIZE TO MUCH WITH ANYONE. DO IT FOR YOU!!! AND GOOD LUCK!

Lapband is pretty safe it only lasts an hour, if you don't have I would bet you will be facing some major surgery in the future anyway and you'll be

older and it will be more risky.

Anniemay

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My husband and I are thinking about lap band, both of us are 100+ overweight. We need to hear all the pro's and con's before we make our final decisions. We have gone to an instructional seminar in Idaho Fall where 3 doctors do the surgery and it told us all the good stuff and about the procedure, but I know there is more to it. Please give us some personal info from those of you who have been there and done that!

Well ,the only thing negative I can say is after I get a fill I throw up my food if it is not Soup or very soft for several weeks later. I just think that it's very hard to retrain your brain to eat differently after so long a time.

but, I am still glad I had it done because I simply could not lose weight

anymore on my own. Anniemay

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This concern is why I have only told 3 people about my plans to get the band - my husband, and 2 of my best friends. As far as family, other friends and co-workers go what they don't know won't hurt them - and I don't have to listen to them. If at some point I want to tell them I will.

jewelsismelting, that's my plan, only a few people will know. i will tell everyone else, if they ask, "it's just a diet."

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:thinkim so upset that i have gotten this big. I have a husband and 4 kids to think about and doing this seems to be the answer for me ? im doing research and hopefully will be making a decision soon. I am a diabetic with hypertension and need to change drastically. Any ideas where to go to for one on one personal questions.

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:thinkim so upset that i have gotten this big. I have a husband and 4 kids to think about and doing this seems to be the answer for me ? im doing research and hopefully will be making a decision soon. I am a diabetic with hypertension and need to change drastically. Any ideas where to go to for one on one personal questions.

I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Don't for one minute think that you're alone. I'm sure there are tons of us on this board that have been where you are right now. I know I sometimes look in the mirror and think, "Wow...why did I let myself get to this point?!?!?!?"

You are doing great by researching the Band to see if it's an option for you. I know for me, it is the best decision. Check this link for more info/Frequently Asked Questions: http://www.lapbandtalk.com/f73/

Also, to have one on one personal questions, you can Private Message (PM) someone or ask for his/her email address.

I hope this helps!!! Hope you're feeling better.

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I only told my wife and kids and mom and dad no one ealse needs to know . People know i had my gallbladder out or so they think so and it working out just fine ITS NOBODY BUSINESS

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I actually work at the hospital where I will be banded and even my peers are mostly negative about Lap-Band and the really sad part of it all is that they will be taking care of the banders post-op! They need education-education-education. Even the people who should be most supportive, are not always. I've been very open about banding for me. I just don't care about their opinions-they don't have to live in my body!

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Spamela, I hope you are feeling better today! Make this decision about you. As a wife and mother of 4, I'm sure that you think you are being selfish. Just think of how much healthier you will be afterwards. Think of how much more energy you will have. It will help your physical AND mental health, making you a much happier person. So while it may seem selfish, really everyone around you will benefit. Hang in there!!! And trust your instincts!! I haven't met a mother yet without killer instincts!! ;)

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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