Hi everyone haven't been here in awhile due to being told for 3 reasons I'm a horrible candidate for weight loss surgeries by one clinic. That really frustrated me as I feel I absolutely need this surgery, and most of my doctors agree.. except the clinic I went to *for* WLS. I was wondering if anyone here or x-posted other places online could help give me any ideas ...

I'm 28 and I feel like I'm dying at my current weight, despite still being fairly young. I'm almost 400 lbs. and 5'6" if I wasn't in a wheelchair since about May 2014. I have about 12 different weight related diseases, some life threatening. I feel this is my last option, and it was just pulled off the table. In a sense I feel like I've been condemned to a slow and painful demise to not be overly dramatic lol but seriously here are some of My Roadblocks...

Stumbling Blocks Are:

1) Pain Management - I have intense pain from obesity and spinal fusion from 18 years ago, when at 10 years old I had severe scoliosis and had to have surgery to save my life. This is why at this weight I'm in a wheelchair and have to get steroid shots/take daily high doses of ibuprofen. I could be on narcotics (so there is a way around it) but those are addictive AND if I go on them at this young an age I have no where else to go from there if the pain becomes unbearable say in my 40s. I'd rather not go on narcotics if possible, but it's a possibility. The clinic I went to though said with my pain management now they don't' want me to have the surgery. They want me up and walking but there is the catch 22 - I wont walk until I can lose the weight. My back doctors stress I need to lose weight quickly if I ever want to walk again.

2) Binge Eating Disorder / BED - why I got here partially, is because I have been diagnosed with an eating disorder. I was actually in treatment for it in an eating disorder clinic when I lost the ability to walk in May 2014. You can't go to an eating disorder clinic around here unless you can walk. I feel this is another catch 22 - if I didn't have the eating disorder I wouldn't have gotten to be morbidly obese - and since I have BED - I can't have the surgery to really fix the morbid obesity. Help? I don't have the time with my back the way it is to go through the years of counseling that just *might* help me deal with my eating disorder, even that is "iffy". I know it takes a lot of work and I'm willing to do this work of course to save my life and mobility - I'm just afraid I don't have the time to do that right now - if I ever want to walk again. I believe I can overcome it to a point - but eventually I don't think I'll stay on the wagon the rest of my life unfortunately and that scares me - I mean 3 years maybe tops I could do, but I don't know about longer than that. I'm a very honest person and I know this would come up in my psych eval. I don't want to lie but I need to take a gamble on this surgery.

and finally 3 is something I can't do anything about:

3) Being Emotionally Disabled - I have several psychiatric disorders due to being abused throughout my childhood and genetics. The clinic also sited this as a reason to not give me the surgery. I understand even the most adjusted person can have a psychiatric reaction, but I'm prepared to do what I have to do, if this happens after the surgery. They say it's too big of a risk. I say dying before your 30 is too, and all WLS is to a point a gamble. That and I feel I'm running out of time with all my obesity related diseases, most being barely controlled.

Although most of my doctors (especially my back doctors) agree the best thing in the world for me would be a WLS, the only doctors who do not are the WLS clinic I went to. I understand WLS is not a cure all by any means, but I'm running out of time and I need answers. I've seen great results from some of my friends through WLS and results that were not so good. Some ended up in hospitals and I've known 2 people who have died from WLS. I personally knew them well. To me though I know this is the only way I might be able to walk again, and not die at a young age of diabetes, or heart disease (both of which I already have, I also have uncontrolled labile high blood pressure with 2 strong high bp medications already...) or several other disorders I have related to obesity.

I have no idea what to do, and like I said, it feels like I'm running out of time to help my mobility, and yes - possibly to stay alive, not to put too fine a point on it... I feel at an impasse - like my last option to live or walk again at least was just yanked away. Should I go to a different clinic for WLS? I know a few that might do the surgery on me anyway - but is that the right thing to do?

Any supportive ideas are welcomed thank you

I am glad you are seeing someone that specializes in eating disorders. It will never make sense to me why people who have NO experience with eating disorders get to make decisions about surgery for people who have them. My guess is that even bariatric doctors don't understand them. A lot of us on here have patterns of disordered eating that obviously have not served us....My other question is do you 'believe' your diagnoses are accurate/up-to-date? Sometime whats in the chart is just what's in the chart. Idk just some thoughts....

I too worry about maintaining a 'lifestyle' for myself. I have a long history of ADD which typically acts out as being able to be totally rigid for a long while and then falling off and unable to follow a program....my hope is that with the surgery hormones will be regulated and adjusted which will make continuing easier....I read somewhere that brain function is improved with WLS in an article on this site....

Good luck to you, keep us posted....

I see an Eating disorder doctor the 7th as a kind of last ditch effort by the 1st clinic to treat me it feels, but since she does specialize in ED/BED I am hopeful despite their track record.

And - Yes unfortunately - I do know all my 5 disorders are up to date, if I stop medication/therapy they do sometimes flare up, or I have symptoms of a few of them... I wish there were a mistake somewhere but I know there is not. I've read that too somewhere at sometime lol, seriously though - I'm hoping it's valid and that hormones can help regulate my disorder behavior of eating. I know psychological medications work differently after surgery as well, and I'm as prepared as possible for that..

On a side note: I haven't binged that much or that heavily in the past month or two, that give me hope that this unhealthy compulsive behavioral pattern is starting to subside. I've had the help of my cna's and my fiance to a point (he has overeating problems as well), and it's been helping.

I see my second opinion on the 2nd of January and as I said above the ED/BED doctor in Albany on the 7th of January. Hoping things are changing for the better, Thank You

I think I read somewhere that some surgeons avoid higher-risk patients like you b/c they want to keep their statistics good, and if they think you may have difficulty sticking to it, it makes them look bad. I have no idea whether that's true in your case but it does seem like there must be some reason since it's pretty clear that surgery is your best chance at improving everything.

If you get a similar reaction from other surgeons, ask them what you can do to make them see things differently. Maybe if you do a strict diet plan like a liquid diet for a certain amount of time and lose a certain amount, they will see you are committed to it.

Please don't give up hope. You are doing the right thing in trying to take charge of your health and I hope things go better at the next clinic for you.

With the albany clinic keeping their statistics up wouldn't surprise me. Not at all the way they treat their high risk patients. I was literally almost in tears when I left there and I never cry in public. I'm changing primary care doctors as well to a primary care that specializes in obesity related illnesses and solutions. He does do things like liquid diets and medication to solve obesity.

I'm not sure it's the best way (medication for weight loss) with my other disorders, medications, etc. but it's an idea. I'd be willing to try the liquid diets again... It's not that I'm not committed to it, it's that with my disorders I have no discipline which doesn't help when you have a pattern of disordered eating that has been your go to coping skill (unhealthy however as it is) for many many years. I've tried so hard so many times (not an exaggeration) and the BED due to trauma history of life long abuse / psychological mood conditions I feel I can't regulate in other ways - starts up again. And I just feel sometimes I'm not strong enough to battle 5 psychological conditions at once with the chronic pain added on from my back and legs... just being honest (along with trauma history) - Thank you.

It doesn't matter how many times we fall as long as we get back up and continue forward.

Fall 9 times stand up 10. Don't give up on yourself. Do accept your own excuses why failing is ok. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I think you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I will cheer for you.

I don't give myself excuses, I feel I'm stuck in a pattern of disorder eating. Even the counselors who I talk to about it, say the behaviors will not change overnight - I have to ween myself off of the binge behaviors gradually. Not everyone who is overweight or obese has an eating disorder - not by a long shot. But many who are severely obese do have patterns of disordered eating at least, if not full blown BED. Unfortunately, according to several psychologists I do have an eating disorder.

Off topic:

I dislike very much how society looks at being overweight/obese today as a character flaw or lack of some kind of self control - as I believe it's far more complex than that in many cases. It's like saying the r word for the developmentally disabled, it kind of shows the person who is saying that - their own ignorance to everyone... I know this post was made to motivate and I thank you for that,I know it was well intentioned. Thanks.

I do not feel I implied anything. Perception is individualistic. It's sad that one continues to make excuses instead of changes.

It doesn't matter how many times we fall as long as we get back up and continue forward.

Fall 9 times stand up 10. Don't give up on yourself. Do NOT accept your own excuses why failing is ok. If you do what you've always done you'll get what you've always gotten.

Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I think you can achieve anything you want to achieve. I will cheer for you.