love her to death, but really... i'm so tired of having to worry about her feelings when all i can think of is my impending surgery (in 2 or 3 weeks). SOMEHOW i hurt her feelings yesterday while discussing plans for my birthday this Friday. we're having dinner at her house (she is not cooking, i want pizza), and i invited some of my cousins, and she's upset because i don't know who is coming exactly and she didn't like the way i reacted to her being upset. i guess i may have sounded a bit short... but geez, i was at the office dealing with work. awww crap, now i feel like i should apologize, but seriously, i'm so tired of this. i wish i could just hide in a room by myself (well, with my cats) (ok, and my boyfriend) (but NOT my daughter and mother) until after surgery.

ok, i just sent her an email saying i'm sorry her feelings were hurt and that it was unintentional, without apologizing for what i said (i have no IDEA what set her off this time).

i'm still in the mood to rant and rave, but i've run out of topics. maybe i will go fire someone lol.

I feel your pain. My mom is such a drama queen! I have to pray for patience every day. I'll include you in my prayer list!

I'd guess being tense and edgy would be normal for anyone who is going to have major surgery. Just tell your mom that you are under a lot of stress, and for her not take it personally.

oh, she is a drama queen, and she already said "i know you're under a lot of stress, but we all are" as if anyone who is worrying about my surgery is as important as the one who is HAVING the surgery. sigh. it's the cross i bear.

My mom would have been the same way. I didnt decide to have WLS til after she passed away. But i do wish sometimes that she was here to rant at me and tell me that I made a mistake. Then i would just tell her that it was my decision and to get over it. lol. Take the attitude from her in stride and just be happy with the decision that YOU made. Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My mom has been gone since 2006.....I wish she was here to worry

I lost my mom in 2011. Take it in stride. Believe it or not, you will miss her when she's gone, and laugh about the drama. I know I do.

@@shmily, @@Babbs, i'm very sorry for your losses. i lost my dad and i miss him every day. i'm totally not wishing my mom gone, i'm crazy about her and mostly we have a great relationship. however, i did need to rant and rave, and now i have, and now i move on.

My mom is still alive but has dementia really bad. So if I were to tell her my surgery she wouldn't remember sure wish I had my mom back.

I told many people about my bariatric surgery. The only negative response was from my mother. I think it is because my mom is dependent on me for care and she did not want anything to happen that might disturb my caregiving.

I told her that the only reason why I am having the surgery is because of her. I could see how her medical conditions (diabetes) which were driven by lack of exercise and food (sugar and carbs), caused such serious problems for her that I did not want to experience the same conditions a few years down the road.

@@jessiquoi, now you know why I have not told my mother. I am fortunate I don't live near my mother ( I love her to death, too) or I wouldn't be able to pull this off. I do not need the stressed out, daily phone call asking how I'm doing and what she just read, and what her friend told her, and why I am losing too much weight and blah, blah, blah.

In my opinion as our parents age their lives become ever smaller circles. Any little old thing fills the circle and overwhelms the system.

How do you start a new message?

@@shmily, @@Babbs, i'm very sorry for your losses. i lost my dad and i miss him every day. i'm totally not wishing my mom gone, i'm crazy about her and mostly we have a great relationship. however, i did need to rant and rave, and now i have, and now i move on.

TOTALLY understand. My mom used to drive me CRAZY And rant away. I'm just saying some day you will look back and laugh about how they used to drive us crazy!

My mom has been gone since 2006.....I wish she was here to worry

Yes, this Friday would be 9 yrs since I lost my mom. No matter how I THOUGHT she got on my nerves sometimes, I wish with all my heart she was still on this earth with me. She would of been one of the two people I would of shared this journey with. And she would of been so supportive. Worried about the surgery, but totally supportive. I knew it broke her heart to see me struggle with my weight ALL my life. She did not have weight issues, but my father side of the family are VERY large people. Because she and my sister, who also left this earth the same year, are the only two people I would of trusted to share my journey with, I have told no one. I MISS MY MOM!!!

I totally get you. My mom is disabled so she does not work, does what she wants with her day and wants to delegate how I should spend mine. She calls me knowing I am at work, text me (sometimes over 20 times) while I am at work and usually those text consist of "when you get off of work I need you to take me to . . . .". I get soooo frustrated sometimes! I remind myself that she is bored, too young to be stuck at home, I'll miss her when she is gone . . . all of that but sometimes she makes me want to SCREAM. Best of luck to you.

@@shmily, @@Babbs, i'm very sorry for your losses. i lost my dad and i miss him every day. i'm totally not wishing my mom gone, i'm crazy about her and mostly we have a great relationship. however, i did need to rant and rave, and now i have, and now i move on.

My mom is supportive but can send me over an emotional edge with the wrong word. We've danced this dance since I was a teen. I love her. She loves me. But we drive each other CRAZY. I went through two miscarriages early in my marriage and I couldn't tell her until all of the doctor visits were behind me and I had time to process the events. Why? I simply couldn't deal with the added stress of her constant phone calls and worried crying and having to comfort her through it too. All that did happen, but after I had time to cry and heal. About a week after the losses. Moms are moms. They are human and needy and childish and have to be right. Just like me. Another mom. Lol.