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Major Social Functions - How do you handle it?



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Ok folks, I am doing a survey. I'm 7 weeks out from my sleeve and there have been some small family affairs but nothing major. My husband and I are going to a wedding tomorrow and I'm a little nervous. How do you guys handle major functions where eating and drinking are expected? (BTW - the folks at this wedding don't know I've had any kind of surgery so there's likely to be questions if I'm just sitting there sipping Water and barely eating.)

As a side note, I'm praying there is something some what healthy to eat as well. just sayin

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That's a tought one! Are you expected to be seated for dinner? (My wedding was super casual - sit where want, eat if you want) If not, can you just kinda walk around with some food on a plate? If you keep on the move, nobody can tell how much you've eaten.

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It's a wedding. There's got to be chicken, fish and beef involved. Maybe even shrimp. Eat what you are able to. People should be too busy looking at the bride and the enjoying the festivities; they should not be paying attention to what you are eating. I went to a baby christening, that included a sit down dinner, when I was 9 days post op. I still had my drain and my post op visit was the next day. I walked in with a stainless steel container with my chicken broth. I was only allowed Water and broth for the first 10 days. I explained to the host I was recovering from an illness and was unable to eat solid food. She made sure I was provided bottles of water all evening long. I actually had a good time.

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I've been to a bunch of social occasions, and on a 9-day vacation during my first 11 weeks. The secret to success (and mental sanity) is planning! Although, as others have said, there should be food you can eat at the wedding, you can't count on it. You need to bring something you can eat if there's nothing appropriate available. Several thoughts:

  • Don't go hungry -- eat before you go.
  • Bring along a Protein shake in your purse in case of emergency.
  • You might even cook up a chicken breast and have it in a small tupperware container. You can quietly drop it on your plate and eat it with a knife and fork.
  • Don't feel deprived. You're doing a great thing for yourself and your family. Don't let an event derail your progress. If you make less than optimal decisions, you'll pay for it on the scale. Not worth it!
  • And to help you make good decisions, don't drink alcohol! Not only is it loaded with fast, non-filling calories, but it leads to questionable decision making.
  • 30 minutes after you eat (whatever it turns out to be), start pounding the Water. You don't want to be hungry when the cake is cut. (That may be a good time for your secret shake.)
  • When you make it through, be proud of your accomplishment.
  • And if you don't, get back on the horse immediately - not two days later on Monday. That's the "old" way of thinking.

Remember, you're only 7 weeks into a new life. Do your best not to sabotage your progress. As others have said, people may notice, but they won't really care what you're eating. And if anyone asks, just tell 'em you're eating carefully these days for health reasons.

Good luck -- you can do it!!!

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Unless they are close friends or family, I would tell any adult that openly questions how much I eat to mind their own goddamn business.

But that's just me. :)

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I'm a year out from surgery and I still struggle with this occassionally. Most of my friends know I've been on a diet (only my 3 best friends know about the surgery) so they attribute my light eating to that, however it is really fun explaining why every once in awhile I get massively sick for about 20 minutes. Just last night I went out for dinner with a friend, I had a few bites of a cracker with hummus, literally one bite of a piece of flatbread, a few tomatoes out of the salad, a small spoon of a pecan dessert, and a few sips of diet coke. Sure enough, on our way back to our cars, I was the one puking my guts out in the parking lot because the sleeve did not like something I ate (probably the sugar in the bite of dessert). Ten minutes later after sitting in my car, panting, sweating, and burping (yes, very sexy), the puking started again. I made it home and then I felt better a little while later.

The other person who suggested eating before you go and keeping a Protein shake in your purse had a good idea. I'm very rarely actually hungry, but if I'm already full when I get to dinner, there's no way I will overeat and have to explain why I seem to have a permanent case of the stomach flu, haha.

If anyone questions why you aren't drinking, I tend to use the excuse that I'm on antibiotics and I don't want to risk the reaction of the drugs with the booze. If people question why I'm not eating much I just say I had a bigger lunch and I didn't realize I wouldn't be hungry by the time dinner rolled around. Much as I believe people should mind their own business, most of them don't, so I lie. I'm cool with that. :) Hopefully everyone will be too busy paying attention to the people getting married to be watching you at all!

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What I've done - I tell people I don't feel well. Eat like a bird...

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Thanks everyone! The posts were all helpful. In the end I was nervous for no reason :) They had great choices there for me (even though I did bring something stashed in my purse just in case) and no one seemed to notice how little I ate. If they did, they kept it to themselves. :)

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Perfect! Congratulations for negotiating a tricky event. And CONGRATULATIONS on your 199!!!!!!

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AT 7 weeks it should be obvious you are losing weight. If asked I tell them I'm at 1200 cals a day and no longer drink. 99% of people want to help you with weight loss, so not eating isnt an issue. Personally, I like to nibble at those events. But keep your eye on the prize.

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When people asked me why I was eating so little I said well I have am really watching my intake. At a wedding I even carried around a glass that looked like it had an alcoholic bev in it but was really Water with lemon! I was lucky and was able to avoid major get togethers the first 8 weeks. I lost pretty slow so I got a few comments but nothing jaw dropping. I made sure to bring a shake with me just in case, but I always found some kind of meat that I could cut up.

I to this day(being over a year out) have mastered the move food around on my plate move, to make it look like I am eating more than I am. And I eat VERY slow. Most people don't even notice

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