Struggling going back to work today.

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Well today I have to go back to work. My job is stressful and my manager is verbally abusive, sh would just say that is the way she is but honestly it's hurtful....she told a new employee that all the employees there are "b*****s". I have been there 12 years and getting close to being able not to have to work there anymore but right now I need the money. I am not a b***h. There is so much favoritism, I work very hard, I know how to do my job and I do not need direction. I am not looking forward to going back I am sure there is going to be so many negative comments and it bothers me personally. I try to live my life as a good person, I do my best to not out down other people. I am not perfect. However, I have struggled with domestic abuse, verbal abuse along with many other issues. My employer is not sympathetic. I am sure no one did any of my work while I was gone, it will all just be expected to be caught up when I return. So I am sure my desk is full. And trying to deal with my new way of living and eating this is going to be a very challenging day/week. I am about in tears, I don't want to go. I have been tired and emotional since my surgery and I just don't know that I am ready for this. I would take more time off but I am only allowed 10 days off without pay, before I left I asked my manager, what if I am unable to come back in two weeks? Maybe due to complications or whatever my doctor says. The ONLY answer I got was I don't know the answer to that it has never happened. I said I would like to know the answer thinking she would ask the doctors I work for but no, I worried about it the entire time I was off. The first week after surgery I had a lot of complications so I wasn't sure I would even be able to go back today which has caused me a lot of stress.

[Texasmeg 568]

I read your post and it made me so sad. Know that you have a support group here that is behind you. My ionly suggestion is to do the work you can and don't stress so much if you can't get it all done. You can only do what you can do while caring for your health.

I remember 30 years ago when my daughter was in day care. The sitter called me with one more in a series of ear infections and I had to leave work yet again. I was stressed out about my job as I drove, gripping the steering wheel tightly. Then I thought, what are my choices? Really, I had none. With no choices, why should I be stressed? I relaxed and continued to do the best I could for my daughter and for my job. It worked out in the end. Take care.

[MichiganChic 3,262]

Sounds miserable. It's always hard to go back, especially when you don't feel good. Add a hostile work environment to that, and it makes it worse.

How big is the company you work for? If there are more than 50 employees, they have have to give you FMLA, which protects your job while you out for your own illness for up to 12 weeks. But since you said it's a Dr.s office, probably not.

Don't you think it's a little ironic that a healthcare practitioner's office treats it's employees like that? Maybe you should tell the Drs how this person is handling their business. They might not even realize it.

Either way, good luck. You might find as you lose weight, you have the confidence and drive you need to seek employment in a better environment. I did!

[Jersrose43 837]

Does your job not have a short term disability option? You should have applied for it. I don't understand why so many people take PTO or unpaid leave. Explore all options.

If you don't have short term, if you are in the us, you are still protected by the FMLA laws. You can be off up to 6 weeks with no pay. I believe depends on how big your compnay is

I would highly suggest you speak to HR about your rights and entitlements.

[Domika03 309]

I agree with the other posters here. You don't have control over the work load, so stay focused & do what you can do as best as you can.

Do NOT let this miserable person have control over your emotions. This journey is already quite trying at times. Only YOU can control how you feel / react (90% is what happens to us. 10% is how we react). You can never be at fault as long as you do the best that you can & stay calm. Certainly not worth getting stressed / sick over.

Focus on your personal health, and what you need to do to stay healthy. Go prepared with meals or drinks so they're available to you when you need them. Returning to work is a bit exhausting, but don't over do it & do what you can.

Also focus on what sounds like an amazing goal, in being able to stop working soon. Do a mental count down if that helps. You can smile each time this miserable person says something to try to annoy you, knowing that you'll be out of there in X amount of time.

Take care. It'll all work out in the end!!!

[pink dahlia 2,513]

Eeeek ! So sorry you have to work in that hostile place, too bad the person who called you all b☆☆☆☆es doesn't see that her behavior is setting the tone for the whole place/attitude ! That being said you cant change her behaviour, you can only change how you handle her behavior. Many years ago, I worked in a stressful environment too with bad attitude bosses. (3 of them , together, all in the same department ! ) When they were rude/ disrespectful I politely, calmly but firmly disagreed or stood my ground. I got a reputation for it, and eventually all 3 got fired for their bad behavior ! So, stand your ground on their bad attitude, and dont stress about the extra work because stress wont change the situation, it will just make you feel/act worse and then they'll try to pick on you even more. ( big dogs picking on the little dog syndrome ) Be calm and just do your best ! Good luck !

[sunnkistme 76]

My thoughts are with you. After having an amazing supervisor for 11 years, he retired and was replaced by a person who should have had a diagnosis. It made the workplace unbearable. I was in a place financially where I could not leave. I made it a goal to outlast the new exec. Smile and carry on. It sounds like she is more of a worry than trying to work your new plan. Good Luck... smile and nod. Make it through your days.

[jessiquoi 623]

you sound like you need a good hug! <<<HUG>>> it's only virtual, but it's warm and caring.

i hate my job too (well, really mostly i hate working), and am counting the days to when i don't have to work any more. (five friggin years to go). i hear you.

you do not deserve to be treated this way. know this to be true! and come here whenever you need to vent or cry or just need another hug. we're here for you all the way!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

I am about in tears

@

Oh my

i am so very sad for your situation

complications after surgery

hope your immediate, initial physical problems have improved (gone)

some of us deal with emotional issues, being exhausted/tired PO

very hard times

i am sorry you are back to work while you still dealing with/recovering from major surgery

not feeling that well

your boss is nasty, verbally abusive!!!!

Try not to let her (or anyone) get the better of you!!!!

try not to let anyone intimidate you!!!

of course the above is much easier said than done

you've worked hard at your office for 12 successful years

as you said, you know your job

you don't need/shouldn't be degraded/beliddled (msp?) by your boss (or anyone)

dealing with so much stress in general is terrible

having a nasty, unsympathetic boss too!!!

continue your wonderful working skills on the job

work leftover since your surgery???

there are only 8 hours in a day

I know you do your best - on the job and in life

No one should expect more (not you either!!!)

all above posts are great!!

@@pink dahlia "stand your ground on their bad attitude, and dont stress about the extra work because stress wont change the situation"

feel better - mentally/emotionally and physically

continued speedy recovery

giving you hugggggs and tissues

best of luck on your successful road to a healthier, happier, longer life

good wishes and vibes being sent your way from syracuse, ny

kathy

Edited September 8, 2014 by proudgrammy

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Thank you all so very much. I work for a physicians office as a biller. The office is just a little too small for FMLA and no short term disability is offered. The words of encouragement from all of you is so much appreciated. Yes it's as bad as I thought it would be but it is what it is. And I hate that saying. Lol. Again thanks for the responses I will do the best I can to meet both my weight goal and my personal goals of being able to retire! Hugs!

[Thinkingthinner1109 485]

Oh and the manager is HR. LOL

[JustWatchMe 7,117]

Oh and the manager is HR. LOL

Sheesh!

[Jersrose43 837]

Well that's a great supportive hR team and company. You need to move on and quickly

[☠carolinagirl☠ 18,722]

Well today I have to go back to work. My job is stressful and my manager is verbally abusive, sh would just say that is the way she is but honestly it's hurtful....she told a new employee that all the employees there are "b*****s". I have been there 12 years and getting close to being able not to have to work there anymore but right now I need the money. I am not a b***h. There is so much favoritism, I work very hard, I know how to do my job and I do not need direction. I am not looking forward to going back I am sure there is going to be so many negative comments and it bothers me personally. I try to live my life as a good person, I do my best to not out down other people. I am not perfect. However, I have struggled with domestic abuse, verbal abuse along with many other issues. My employer is not sympathetic. I am sure no one did any of my work while I was gone, it will all just be expected to be caught up when I return. So I am sure my desk is full. And trying to deal with my new way of living and eating this is going to be a very challenging day/week. I am about in tears, I don't want to go. I have been tired and emotional since my surgery and I just don't know that I am ready for this. I would take more time off but I am only allowed 10 days off without pay, before I left I asked my manager, what if I am unable to come back in two weeks? Maybe due to complications or whatever my doctor says. The ONLY answer I got was I don't know the answer to that it has never happened. I said I would like to know the answer thinking she would ask the doctors I work for but no, I worried about it the entire time I was off. The first week after surgery I had a lot of complications so I wasn't sure I would even be able to go back today which has caused me a lot of stress.

hang in there......i had the last week off due to my mothers passing and today is the first day back for me..i am very tired....stress has made my whole body sore and i am fretting over EVERYTHING and esp over things i have no control over....

deep breath

give yourself a time out if you need to...

sorry i cant answer and make you feel better but i wanted to reach out and send some love.

[jessiquoi 623]

@@☠carolinagirl☠, condolences on your mother's passing.