So I have been on my pre-op journey since November 2013 and have been working slowly towards getting my requirements done. I have finally finished everything and was given a date of August 18, 2014. As I'm preparing for my surgery date and getting business in order for the hospital stay and care during my days out of work, I've realized that I haven't told many people about my up and coming surgery. My mother knows, a friend who has had her own successful journey knows, and maybe 2 or 3 other people know and I really have no interest in telling anyone else about it. I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with the issue of being almost secretive about this process and if it was intentionally kept quiet or if it just wasn't a big deal to be discussed?

Edited July 14, 201412 yr by CrystalJae

For those that said they didn't tell and are post op..... How do you explain such drastic weight loss?

I personally am the queen of yo yo weight gain/loss. Although it is more weight than I have lost in the past, it is not unusual for me to lose and then balloon. I have kept a weight log since 2004 and I have quantifiably yoyo'ed 30 or more lbs every 18 to 24 months for the last 10 years. They just might question when I don't gain this time. ????.

For those that said they didn't tell and are post op..... How do you explain such drastic weight loss?

I personally am the queen of yo yo weight gain/loss. Although it is more weight than I have lost in the past, it is not unusual for me to lose and then balloon. I have kept a weight log since 2004 and I have quantifiably yoyo'ed 30 or more lbs every 18 to 24 months for the last 10 years. They just might question when I don't gain this time. dde0b.

That is so me! Always up and down, I didn't tell anyone at work, and they haven't said anything yet about my weightloss I'm pretty sure it's because of my yoyo dieting in the past, and that's fine with me. I'm only 5 weeks out.

I have told everyone. I don't want any other person struggling with weight thinking I simply changed my diet and started exercising. I have no issue with people knowing "my business". Probably because I'm not the type to care or be influenced by what others think/say.

I didn't tell a lot of people before surgery... a very close friend, my kids and ex-husband... I told 2 friends at work right before surgery because they are candy pushers and if I didn't let them know, I would have come back to work with a big package of candy on my desk welcoming me back. Almost every one I told was positive. I got a couple of "you're not big enough" comments (BMI 36) but I just replied "well, my insurance and the surgeon agree I am".

After surgery, I've pretty much told anybody that asked. They have all been positive, too. I don't just announce it to people but for people I have relationships with (coworkers, friends at church) I'm going to be straightforward and honest. I hope it helps some other people who might need the surgery.

I too have not-told many people.. My spouse ( who is against it because, after all it is SURGERY ) and 1 friend who had bypass 10 years ago. I have no desire to hear anyone's opinion.. Cause EVERYBODY's got one...no parents, siblings, co workers.. Nothing. I told work i am having surgery for some female plumbing issues..that usually stops the guys from asking more questions..anyone who asks further, i will say i'm having a fibroid removed.. I will cross the post op questions when i get to it. Just my 2 cents...

I totally understand why many people would want to keep having surgery a secret because I too am a private person. However, I think telling people would be a positive thing because not many people talk about it. As someone who hasn't had the surgery yet, I would feel happy for people if they lost weight, but then I would feel worse about myself wondering why so many people can lose weight and I can't. I know some people are mean and will say stupid things or be judgmental... but when I have surgery, I will not be keeping it a secret... because if it helps even one person, then it will be worth hearing the other comments.

The only people that know about my surgery is my family and 2 of my close friends. No one where I work knows and I don't want them to know. I work with bunch of women and you know is women like to talk and I didn't feel like I need to explain why I am doing this. I have been working out a lot so they know I am trying to loss weight. So when I start to lose and it is noticeable then they may think what I am doing is working.

It was my intention to only tell my husband and almost grown children. I don't think it is anyone else's business. I should not have told my husband though lol. He is very supportive of my decision BUT he has told everyone he works with, his friends, and the neighbors. My family all live around the area so it is not impossible that they will find out. I sometimes think I will tell them if I am approved by insurance but it just makes my stomach upset to think about doing that. So I will just see what happens. There is no right or wrong answer here it just depends on what you are comfortable with.

Me too! I have told my husband, mother, brother and bff. I didn't tell my sister because she's perfect, always has been, and I don't want to feel like I have to defend myself. Honestly, it's my guts. Just because I'm having surgery doesn't mean I'm required to talk to you about what I eat and a don't eat. Being overweight has made me the negative center of attention for long enough and I don't want to talk about it with everyone. When I was pregnant with my son I remember how everything became about my pregnancy after we told people that we were expecting. I don't want the same to happen in this instance. I don't blame you for not telling anyone. I don't discuss my period or the kind of tampons I use or how many. My guts, my business.

Before surgery and during the time I made the decision to even have surgery, my mom, dad and brother were the only ones who knew. I did not even tell my grandparents. I decided not to tell anyone at work, as I felt it was a very private decision that had no need to be mentioned at more work place. Also I work in a very male dominated field, so it was just unnecessary. Well after my surgery, as the weight came off and I became more comfortable with myself, I then began telling people.

I do not mind telling people now, but I am careful to advise others to make sure they weigh out all of their options before deciding on having surgery. That they should not just jump on this as the only solution. Anyways, long story short...its a very personal thing, and only you can make the decision on who you tell and who you do not tell,

At the very least, make sure you surround yourself with supportive people, because you will need them during this new journey you are about to take.

I've only told immediate family and 2 close work friends. I specifically told my 2 adult children not to tell their father (my ex-husband) because he has a big mouth and would tell all of our mutual friends. I'm just not ready to deal with the questions from them yet. While my ex-husband and I have a very amicable relationship, and I'm sure he'd be supportive, I just feel like it's my business to tell. Being overweight seems like such a personal struggle to me. A lot of me wanting to keep the surgery quiet is from the shame I feel for being so overweight to begin with. I can't believe I've done this to myself and that I have to resort to surgery. I imagine I will have to be more forthcoming when I go back to work since we have such a small group. I hope I'll feel differently afterwards and will be able to discuss it more openly.

Hi all, I'm about 9 days away from surgery and I'm still not offering information about the surgery to many people but when they see me drinking the protein shakes and turning down solid food as a part of my 10 day pre op diet, they ask and with out hesitation I tell them. So far no negativity, mostly just "oh ok" and 1 co worker whom i think is more excited than i am lol. I'm finding it a little easier to tell co workers than I am family. I guess because I'm forced to live with my families judgement while I only see co workers 8 hours a day.

I've told work that I'm getting my gall bladder removed. My family know, but thats about it.

I was going to tell my work, but I walked in on a conversation they were having about how weight loss surgery is cheating and that "fat people should just get off their lazy butts"... so I decided, they don't need to know. Because I work full time, I needed some way to have 3 weeks off work, plus various trips 4 hours drive for my pre and post appointments.... so we will see if any of them notice, or ask why I've lost so much weight.

- Molly

I am pre-op, and have told only a 2 family members and 3 close friends. I have decided it is best not to tell people at work, but am concerned about having a good "cover" for my 3 week absence, and soft food diet upon return. Any suggestions for a good plausible story? I don't want anyone to think I'm seriously ill or anything.

I haven't told anyone besides a couple close friends and family don't plan on telling anyone else.