So I have been on my pre-op journey since November 2013 and have been working slowly towards getting my requirements done. I have finally finished everything and was given a date of August 18, 2014. As I'm preparing for my surgery date and getting business in order for the hospital stay and care during my days out of work, I've realized that I haven't told many people about my up and coming surgery. My mother knows, a friend who has had her own successful journey knows, and maybe 2 or 3 other people know and I really have no interest in telling anyone else about it. I was wondering if anyone else has dealt with the issue of being almost secretive about this process and if it was intentionally kept quiet or if it just wasn't a big deal to be discussed?

Edited July 14, 201412 yr by CrystalJae

I only kept it a secret until I found out I was for sure getting it done.

It doesn't matter to me who knows because people can't keep secrets and people always end up finding out.

There is a lady in my town who lied to me about having it, I asked her how she lost it so fast she said low carb and exercise. I knew better because the normal average person does not lose that much weight as fast as she did. I found out she had the sleeve but didn't want anybody to know but people talk behind each others back all the time.

So when she ask me how I lost weight- my answer will be "same way you did" LOL

I kept most of the process secret until I was sure I was having surgery and then I shared with my close friends and imediate family. My husband knew from the very beginning. I haven't been public on social media like Facebook because I don't really want to get into a debate with anyone regarding the pros and cons. I've done my due diligence and because of my health conditions, I have to do this. It's not open for discussion. I get further along the road of "I don't care what other people think" every day. You have to do what's best for you. Best of luck on your road to healthy.

If it comes up in conversation I discuss it and don't hide from anyone. I have been judged heavily for many decisions I have made in my life and have grown thick skin. At this point in my life, they can shove it if they don't agree with my decisions. It won't be the first or last time people judge me or disagree with my decision!

15 months out here and still the only person who knows is my husband. People are just judgemental by nature. They can act all supportive in front of your face but some/many are entirely different when you are not there. Just didn't want to deal with it. So glad that I made this choice it has worked out best for me. Don't regret it for a minute.

15 months out here and still the only person who knows is my husband. People are just judgemental by nature. They can act all supportive in front of your face but some/many are entirely different when you are not there. Just didn't want to deal with it. So glad that I made this choice it has worked out best for me. Don't regret it for a minute.

In addition to the judgements on the surgery itself, there was the fact that we were self pay. Now it became a matter of, how did we pay for it and was it a good use of money. Just so many facets of judgement. I've had mobile homes repo'ed for what this cost but it has increased my longevity and health, but they would have something to say. Just another thing to judge ... No thanks. Very happy with our decision.

For those that said they didn't tell and are post op..... How do you explain such drastic weight loss?

For those that said they didn't tell and are post op..... How do you explain such drastic weight loss?

I worked with a lady who was the similar weight as me. She said she was on a diet and I started dieting the same time. She list weight, I lost weight, then I plateaued and she just kept on losing weight to the point that I stopped at a size 12-14 and she kept going to a size 4. Every time I asked what she was doing, it was exercise and watching what she ate. After I found out she had the surgery, my respect for her went completely out the door. Just be honest. It has and always will be the best policy. I wondered for a year what was wrong with me that I couldn't lose the weight like she did. I've since gained 60 pounds and she's still a 2. I'm hoping to have the surgery in September this year and when people ask because they are looking for the answer, I will tell them.

Not everyone has the same people or same circumstances in their lives. I did what was best for me. Trust your instinct and do what you feel is the best for you! I do not regret my decision one bit.

I told quite a few people. My bf told even more =p Because for all his trepidation about my surgery, his actions say that he's pretty proud of what I'm doing. I had initially told only family and a few friends. Through him mentioning it to other people (mostly because I became an almost total recluse during the pre-surgery testing, appointments and diet) I discovered a few other people who had the surgery in the past, and they're very interested in how I'm doing.

I have received no negative comments. Maybe people talk about me behind my back, I don't know, but pretty much everyone has been positive to my face. But then, most of our friends and most of the people where we volunteer together have seen my weight loss struggles and bear no animosity to doing whatever it takes to get healthy.

I do understand that I'm quite lucky in this respect. I honestly didn't expect the degree of positive comments and support I received from my friends. But then, I cut a lot of negative people out of my life before I started the process, so that may have something to do with it.

I am complete opposite from you all. I told everyone I know. I am very close with my family. They would be so upset if I didn't tell them. Also my brother just went through it. Also told my friends and talk about it on my facebook page.

I'm still pre-op and have only told my husband. I just don't want to hear all the second-guessing and unsolicited advice before surgery. When I'm post-op, I don't care who knows!

I'm pre-op as well and I've done all the necessary steps, including the 6 months of diet, nutrition and exercise that my insurance required. I'm just waiting on APPROVAL AND SURGERY DATE. I haven't told my 3 children or my mother.... My husband my grandma who are very supportive and 3 of my very close relatives, 2 of whom also had it done, knows. No one at my job knows but I have been taking my lunch of salads some days protein drinks on others and a gallon of water always..... I've been known to diet, lose and gain so I'm going to keep it as if I'm dieting losing and keeping it off for the ones that I didn't confide in.

For those that said they didn't tell and are post op..... How do you explain such drastic weight loss?

I know someone who had the surgery, she was readily conversing about how she dieted and exercised and walked her dog everyday for 4 months lost over 70lbs until she got really sick not conforming to the restrictions of the surgery and had to be hospitalized! Someone close to her had to tell! She's doing well now but no one really talks to her because she was typically never known for dieting OR exercising but always know to be a liar of everything..... It's sad, she don't understand that someone could've helped her or she could've helped someone ????

I have told my spouse, children, parents and brothers & sisters, a few close friends. I don't feel it's something everyone needs to know. I am comfortable with that.

Hello, I'm a newbie, still pre-op, and I'm excited to be here. I feel lucky to have my support group of family and friends. I may not shout it from the roof tops to the city, nor do I intend to put it on fb, but I need the those in the know to know. I need to hold myself accountable and those that care about me will back me all the way. When I start losing and it's gets noticed, bring on the questions, I'll be so excited I won't care who knows.