I just had one of those nights

[chocolate_snaps 3]

re: 'My fabulosity is unmatched but I have more work to do on my selfesteem'

....note to self: have this embroidered on my flying scarf for my next Kamikaze mission....

:biggrin1:

Don't ALWAYS assume that you're just the butt of someone's joke. Even at my highest of about 380, I was still sincerely hit on. Even by guys that didn't make me vomit.

I wish most of the guys that hit on me didnt make me hurl. Lucky

But really I try not to assume the worst and try to correct it when I do. That automatic hate machine must run on duracells. Im flawed though and it was a weak moment. The place were I was made me feel really uncomfortable and maybe the tools say that and took the opportunity.

How you carry yourself can overcome a lot of how you look. I was always told, "You don't act like a fat person" or "You don't walk like a fat person." What does that mean? I wasn't sure, so I asked. And here are some of the things I was told that made me "stand out". I hold my head up, and I make eye contact with people. I don't submit and look away or go out of my way to walk around people. I don't move like a fat person. I had to probe a little more on this one, and was told that often, someone as heavy as I was walked like a little more of their self esteem is dripping out with each step, and I never had that look, I always looked extrar=orindarily confident and sure of myself. I would say hi to people, hold doors for them, etc. I never put myself on the outskirts of social situations (because I'm a deeply expressed introvert I would try to avoid them alltogether, but when that didn't work, I was never the wallflower).

Anyway - that's how it was described to me by other people, so take it for what it's worth. Remember that it's at least 80% attitude. Don't let yourself get beaten down.

I couldnt agree more about how you carry yourself. Its weird because Im really a head held high, shoulders rolled back kind of girl. Im definately an outgoing person who, on the outside, exudes confidence. Its the inside that needs the most work. The outside is amazing, blindingly so, even at 330lbs. Ive been told that I strut. Its something my parents taught me my mother with the book-on-head posture lessons. My father who was 6"5' told me to always hold my head high and if people are gonna look, make them remember it.

And in the meantime, start thinking about how you're going to make the mental change from "butt of someone's joke" to "attractive woman".

I sure am trying. Its a struggle. bleh. But what doesnt kill you...

"What?? Whatever. You're a cute, tall redhead. OF COURSE guys are going to smile at you!"

THE VOICE REASON! I love good friends:D

to me, I'm still the fat girl trying to cram myself into a size 32 or 34, but I'm not that person to anyone else.

Here! Here!

But just think, you'll lose your weight. He can't lose that which makes him a small weenie of a man!

I cant agree more!

How can I say this without sounding Bi. I would SO go out with you because you sound so together, so much like a woman who knows who she is, and where she is going. That is such a turn on and so hot!! Really. Maybe this doesn't help but there are women out there who are shaving their heads for attention and front page still wasn't enough, others telling the press that "rehab was cool, I went, the room was white the floor was parquet"... and here you are such leaps ahead of it all and TALL to beat it.

**Note to self. Send Chocolate-snaps a pair of six inch cherry red patten leather stillettos when she reaches her goal***

All I can say=:hug:

And you have great taste in shoes! I just bough a pair of cherry red wedges (Ill wait for the stillettos) to go with my 50's glamour graduation look. Pincurls+Red lips.

Im telling you my fabulosity is unmatched. Youll see, its gonna be my Before pic.

[Daisalana 33]

I sympathize. It's been a while since that kind of thing happened (high school, which was 6 years ago for me), but I remember about 2 years ago.. out of no where.. me and fiance went out to dinner somewhere. And some reason I became the target of some girls jokes. I was really just emberassed since my fiance picked up on it too. He's not into 'big girls'.. but he fell in love with me and had to deal with it LOL. But anytime something 'reminds' him I'm fat, I get nervous. I still occasionally feel like he doesn't notice I'm fat after all these years and one day he'll go 'Wow, she's fat..'.. it's weird I know. Even getting this surgery, I know my face was beet red when I asked him his thoughts on it. I didn't want him thinking about me being fat.. and I still wouldn't let him take my 'before' pictures.. I had to set up the camera. This is just one of those issues I think I hide from the world. I don't 'act' fat, I don't 'feel' fat.. it's my deep dark secret (I know, I'm a little off my rocker).

Hugs to you, and like someone else said.. that was always my motto in high school which is why it didn't bother me too bad.. I can lose the weight, and 100% of girls who ever gave me shit, were BUTT UGLY but had a nice body.. so I had no problem telling them about how one day I'd lose weight, but no amount of plastic surgery could fix the remains of the ugly stick someone slapped them with

[bitteroldhag 0]

I'm old so I don't get hit on anymore. When I was young, I was thin and got hit on all the time. I didn't like that. I think you are doing very well and it's great you got your degree.

On another topic, I went to the dating sites and saw some old fat men who were cute. I like old fat men. I may check some of these sites if Mother ever dies and I have a life again. Thanks for the info.