Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

When people ask, do you tell them about WLS?



Recommended Posts

WEll, after the reactions I got from my sister and others I don't think I will tell many folks. My grown children are all supportive and that is good enough for me. I will wait and see 'who' needs to know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's funny... I just started dating a new guy and we were talking about losing weight and getting healthier and how we're working on that. I told him I've lost 60 pounds this year (without saying it has been in 4 months). He told me his ex-wife had WLS a long time ago and has gained a lot of it back. He also said he had gone through the process to have surgery himself but he started following the diet and has lost over 60 pounds, putting his BMI below the surgery level. So, I decided to 'fess up and tell him I had surgery. He laughed at me and told me he knew I had because of my diet... he recognized the Protein obsession and not drinking during meals. :)

So sometimes, you may not have to tell people... they may know already!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I agree that It is absolutely your right to tell or not to tell or somewhere in between.

I am telling everyone now and I am just starting my pre-surgery weight loss program so my surgery won't be until maybe the end of February!

Out of all the ones I have told I have gotten many success stories and I have gotten two stories that were not successes. But every single one has said "I wish you luck". After one of the ones that had an unsuccessful story and I started talking and comparing notes he actually said he was going to pull out his notes where he had been researching getting WLS but got decided it was not for him and start looking into it again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't had my surgery yet, but I've pretty much already told all the family members, friends, and co-workers I intend to tell.

I may change my mind post-op, but for now I think if I'm asked by someone who I don't really feel comfortable telling I'm just going to say: "I was having some health issues and now I'm following a medically supervised diet."

And it's a 100 percent true to boot. Due to my morbid obesity I am having medical issues, and I will be following a medically supervised both pre and post op.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I like many of you chose to limit the number of people I told. I told almost all of my fellow management staff, my wife, and one friend. My wife on the other hand told her family because she felt they needed to be aware. I ended up being okay with it because I still was not the one that told them. In the long run it makes sense for us. We spend the holidays with them and now I don't have to make excuses about what I'm eating. Everyone else at work thinks I'm having back surgery because I didn't want to hear the comments.

One thing I learned from my WLS roommate is that I may end up sharing information with my staff because they will think I came down with a serious illness. So I have shared with my management team who know that if they start hearing people be concerned about my health for them to let me know. I will make my decision on how proceed from there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am so glad someone posted about this. My surgery is on Nov 10th and being just 2 weeks out, I've contemplated about this all along. Really, as of today, only 5 people in my life know that I'm about to do this. The comments about being "such a personal decision" are SO right on. I had a really hard time telling people. Not because I am not sure about my decision, but because it is hard to re-explain, re-defend the decision. And it's like you want people to know, look, I didn't come to this overnight. This was a long process of education and decisions. I really like the suggestions of "thank you" and then giving some general answers of diet, exercise, etc. I'm sure people at work will figure it out - I'm taking the 2 weeks off work and since I'm their Supervisor, a peer of mine is being flown in to fill in for me. I know they'll figure / know that I'm clearly off for a medical reason, coming back with some obvious weight off will be telling. But the fact is, they'll think what they think. I am grateful for others sharing their same feelings on this!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So, I had a lap band that had to be removed and later had RNY. The first time, I told people that I'd had weight loss surgery. The majority of people reacted positively. A few of my overweight friends acted like I had taken the easy way out. Lol, trust me the misery of that lap band was no easy anything!

Of course, when the band came out I couldn't maintain the weight-loss. I hated having everyone know I had had WLS and had gotten fat again anyway. So, with the RNY, I have opted to respond to questions about how I'm losing weight with "I'm trying not to eat anything that tastes really good" and a laugh. People who have known me for a long time have seen me yoyo many times and so if they comment that I'm losing weight I just say, "yeah, this time" and we commiserate about how hard it is to keep it off.

Telling people is a personal preference, really. But, the second time around, I'm keeping it private :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I plan on keeping my bypass to myself and husband. I am not even telling the kids. I need to keep my head clear and my eye on the ball. This is high stakes game right now. Emotionally, I don't think I can handle everyone's reactions, feelings and questions. I have spent my entire life giving but not taking care of myself in part because everyone's needs always seemed more important then mine. This time, I am taking care of ME. I may feel differently down the road.

I have no one besides my husband that knows, and at 4 months post surgery, I still have no inclination to tell anyone. It is none of their business. Best wishes for your success. Congratulations on deciding to prioritize yourself!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×