To tell or not to tell?

[Lilypad16 4]

Hey May Sleevers, what are your attitudes for sharing what we have done to assist in our weight loss endeavors? Are we loud and proud Sleevers or silent but successful Sleevers?

[ANuMe2014 44]

I decided to take the quiet road. Basically, because I don't care for the ridicule. When asked about the weight loss, will just reply that I eat ALLOT less...

[McButterpants 2,846]

I am a very private person - 5 people know that I had surgery...my parents, my husband, son and my best friend.

I live in a small community where I grew up - I have seen people talk nicely to someone's face and the minute they leave, tear them apart. I didn't want to give anyone any fat to to chew. I have a very small circle of people I am close with - others I consider acquaintances and I wouldn't tell them personal stuff anyway.

Maybe some day I will feel comfortable enough to tell people, but not now (I'm 6 months out). I applaud those that go out and share the message about weight loss surgery and can tell anyone.

[thesuse2000 698]

I've only told one person at work about it - someone I completely trust to keep it secret. But people will know that I'm out for 2 weeks for surgery and then (hopefully) I will start dropping weight fairly quickly, so it seems like people will likely figure it out... I guess I will play it by ear. I really don't feel like being a topic of conversation, but if I lose a lot that will be inevitable...

[ColoEmpress 23]

I've been pretty open, even at work but wonder if I'm going to be sorry. Is there a stigma around people who have this surgery? Is it going to impact my career options? Not sure...

[thesuse2000 698]

I don't know that it would impact your career (or mine, since I can't speak to yours) if it got out - I just don't want everyone looking at me and sizing up how much i've lost knowing that I had surgery. Especially would hate that if I am a slow loser, which many of us band to sleevers seem to be. Even thin people are fascinated with weight loss. I just don't want to be a topic of conversation.

[JeanZ_RN 378]

I'm not a May sleever, and I hope you don't my if I put in my 2 cents worth. My viewpoint is different from many others.

I'm a nurse, working in an administrative job in a small hospital. Another nurse was hired for a similar position in our hospital, and in the course of conversation he soon volunteered the information that he had the sleeve surgery. I had not heard of it, so I asked some questions, did my research and decided to start the journey. (I had heard of the RNY and the band, but decided neither was for me.)

When I scheduled the time off for the surgery it just seemed natural to tell my peers on the management team the purpose of that leave. They have ALL been supportive, which has helped me tremendously. My only family - 2 sisters and 1 brother - all live hours away, and while we do keep in touch by phone and email, it's great to have supportive people whom I see every work day. Now I get to hear at least once a week congratulations on how great I look and other congratulatory stuff. I'll TAKE it!

I have no idea what if anything they say behind my back, but I'm not worried about it. I'm not getting any vibes to indicate they are anything other than supportive, so I have no reason to think there's any nastiness going on.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

There are many posts here about the nastiness of people, and having worked in big government offices, I know how that goes. You tell one person in HR in confidence, who tells another, and it mushrooms. My husband and I have enjoyed not having to discuss our surgery with our social group, as it has been bad enough just having them all discuss our weight loss. We just say we have been dieting, and we quit eating out and drinking at social functions. I am thankful now that my husband made that decision not to tell people, since I usually feel the need to explain way too much! Life is aaaahhh, so good!

[Lilypad16 4]

Thanks everyone for your shares on this topic. I personally have shared with everyone. Even my students. Most understand that this is not an easy path and they are aware of the journey that I have taken to get here. I have received a lot of support and genuine concern for me. Most are pleased that I will be healthier. What ever your choice is to tell or not to tell always remember that we have this forum to share with each other who understand first hand what we are going through. Thanks girls.

[Forsythia 882]

I told my husband (obvs), and my boss (since I needed to let her know I needed the time off), my parents and two friends. I did not tell my brother. He mentioned once in casual conversation that weight loss surgery was cheating (funny talk from a guy who has never been fat a day in his life). I don't know if my parents told him or not, but I didn't tell him. Since the surgery the five people in my department at work know and have been supportive, but that's about it. What I do with my body isn't anyone else's business. I might be a little sensitive, but people are also judgey.

[bikrchk 1,313]

I'm an open book. I'm excited to share any information I can that might help someone who is struggling and could benefit from this procedure, (or knows someone who can). As for the ridicule, maybe it's that I don't give a flying "eff" what folks think if they're against me in a decision I made to improve my health, maybe I've been lucky, maybe its in my delivery, but I've had very little negative reaction when I've told folks about my new tool.

[Lilypad16 4]

I so get where you're coming from. Now whenever I see someone who is obese I have the urge to spread the word and let them get onto a path to a healthier life. Obviously, I wouldn't bother a perfect stranger but if someone was to ask, my answer would be the same as everyone who has had the sleeve that this is life changing. Thanks for your share.

[yllwrose 30]

I was quiet about it while I was making the decision and going through the hoops, with the exception of my family and guy. But once I received my actual surgery date I announced it to people at work and friends. I figured that the more support I have the more successful that I will be. I never received any ridicule for my decision...at least not to my face.

[Lilypad16 4]

Anyone around us that see how hard this journey is are very happy for me and my results so far. United Sleevers stick together.

[Amy373 56]

I am a very private person - 5 people know that I had surgery...my parents, my husband, son and my best friend. I live in a small community where I grew up - I have seen people talk nicely to someone's face and the minute they leave, tear them apart. I didn't want to give anyone any fat to to chew. I have a very small circle of people I am close with - others I consider acquaintances and I wouldn't tell them personal stuff anyway. Maybe some day I will feel comfortable enough to tell people, but not now (I'm 6 months out). I applaud those that go out and share the message about weight loss surgery and can tell anyone.

I know exactly what u are talking about I live in a small town too! I chose not to tell.