family giving me a hard time

[marymary1234 14]

My family is skeptical about my having surgery.. I am taking my mom to a seminar tonight. Has anyone had to deal with this? Would love to hear your input.. I know I shouldnt care.

[linda305 173]

My family is skeptical about my having surgery.. I am taking my mom to a seminar tonight. Has anyone had to deal with this? Would love to hear your input.. I know I shouldnt care.

I really didn't tell anyone except my husband and he wasn't happy with it. I went with him to the seminar and kind of changed hus mind. Then he became my biggest supporter

[wendyt 108]

I'm sorry your family isn't on board with you. I've only told my husband and kids about my upcoming surgery because I just don't want to hear the naysayers. They'll find out afterwards

[Kelly Gonzalez 52]

I actually had the complete opposite because I'm very ill. My family were all for it, it was me that was skeptical, but it's all done, and 24 days post-op.

[marymary1234 14]

I was hesitant to post this but I am assuming this is a nonjudgemental community. I live in a supportive apartment. I have a roommate and I guess you could say I have staff above me. They dont want to be responsible for my "physical" care after the surgery.. it is housing for people with depression, bipolar, etc. So I have to stay with my mom for 2 weeks after surgery. They also are skeptical. This is why I need everyone on board. If I dont have my mom on board, I cant stay with her cant have the surgery

[wendyt 108]

I was hesitant to post this but I am assuming this is a nonjudgemental community. I live in a supportive apartment. I have a roommate and I guess you could say I have staff above me. They dont want to be responsible for my "physical" care after the surgery.. it is housing for people with depression, bipolar, etc. So I have to stay with my mom for 2 weeks after surgery. They also are skeptical. This is why I need everyone on board. If I dont have my mom on board, I cant stay with her cant have the surgery

Is she just "skeptical"? or totally against it?

Can you print out some information for her about the surgery, and try to explain to her that you're doing this for a healthier you? Ask her if she'd rather have a healthy daughter or a dead one, which is where you may end up if you don't get the surgery (I'm not sure this is true in your case, but it may very well be, since it is true for most of us that are seeking this surgery). If she still doesn't understand, just ask her if you can still stay there and have her be non-judgmental about it (at least out loud)....or perhaps you have a friend you could stay with?

I pray you get the support you need.

[marymary1234 14]

Thank you for your responses.. honestly, I am a revision. My mother isnt very validating. I am kind of afraid she will be very "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" the day after surgery... shes from the old country. I think she thinks its going to be a repeat of lapband. Its my issue but im going to prove her and everyone else wrong or should I say right :-)

[NMJG 1,266]

Good luck to you, Mary. I would hope that giving her print outs of lap band revision success stories would help, if she would read it. Perhaps you can get her to come on a forum like this and read about lap band revisions? Many people are very happy with them.

The other thing that could help perhaps is giving her the reasons why this is different. In other words, what held you back the first time and why you will be successful this time.

Are you prepared to change how you eat forever? Are you ready to commit to Protein first, getting your Water in, and avoiding sliders and non-nutritional carbs as much as possible? Can you give up soda? Will your activity level change? If you are prepared, maybe you can share your preparation plans with her and that will help her get behind you.

[katesuccess 990]

MaryMary - I"m so sorry you don't feel the support you need just now, but you're absolutely doing the right thing to take her to the information session with you. That's the smartest thing! Also get a list of what your surgeon expects you to need help with for two weeks - I"m surprised they require that long really. A lot of people go home and live solo with no help past the first 24 hours. I get that your housemates and others living there don't want to be responsible for your physical care, but i hope they're encouraging and supportive about you doing this. After that two weeks it'll be nice to go into a positive environment I'd think.

And for the record, this IS pulling yourself up by the bootstraps! You're taking charge of dealing with a problem and no one but you can do it. She might be helping some, but it's your choice and your hard work that's going into it. She should be impressed you're taking this positive proactive approach - good for you!

[Healthygal 50]

Moms are just scared for us, that's all. It's in the job description to freak out over anything that might hurt their baby...even if their baby is 45, like me! Therefore, I am not telling my mother. I know what she'll do, and I don't need that kind of misery. I am capable of looking at the pros and cons and deciding for myself. My husband knows, and agrees that it's something I probably need to do at this point, but it scares him, too. Of course it's scary...I know that. I will probably never tell my mother...ever. Or anyone at work, because it's none of their business. If anyone asks me what I'm doing (and I'm sure they will) I will just say I am doing good things for my health now, eating well, working out, and made some positive changes in things to help my success. None of that will be a lie...they just don't need to know everything. Hugs to moms...I am one myself and would be scared for my kids...but in the end we are all responsible for making ourselves happy. Sometimes that means shutting out negativity and criticism, even from mom.