advice please

[Sweetbaby1 77]

I am in such desperate need for help asap. So.. I'm not telling my family about my surgery. I know they will attempt to talk me out of it. I have only told my two best friends. However my surgery is in 6 days. On the 16th, we normally spend easter together as a tradition at my sister house in Va. I will only be 3 days post op. There are going to be so many of us in my sister house, and a lot of cooking going on. How do I explain my drain if they see it, and how do I explain not eating. My family is so nosey, and very opinionated I know for a fact they are gonna ask so many questions. If i don't go to my sis house on Easter I will never hear the end of it. But I also read that I should not be driving until I am off my medication the Doctor prescribed after surgery. Ughhh I am about to start stressing out. What should I do smh

[Andrew0929 1,101]

I was (am) in a similar situation and used the story that I was having hiatal hernia surgery. That way I had a reason to be recovering and have eating restrictions afterward.

It's worked for me so far ...

[jalb 4]

I was in a similiar situation. My surgery was Dec 10th just before all the Christmas and New Years parties.

Did not tell anyone until after surgery. When they wanted to discuss it I explained I had thought about it for a couple years and tried several alternatives along the way. Finally this seemed to be the best choice for my health moving forward.

They seem pretty receptive and even if they arent thats ok with me, you can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all the time :-)

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

My husband and I told my daughter who lives out of town, but not his local 30 year old son. At Thanksgiving, for the first time ever, we said we were dieting and were not cooking. I was l week post op, he was l week pre-op. We survived. His son won't even remember there was no Thanksgiving that day since his wife was cooking, and we relaxed and had a stress free Thanksgiving. If this causes you too much worry, maybe it is an option to relax at home and just say I am not feeling good (truth). It is about you right now, not struggling and worrying about what people think or will say. Have a Blessed Easter, that is what it's about.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

My husband and I told my daughter who lives out of town, but not his local 30 year old son. At Thanksgiving, for the first time ever, we said we were dieting and were not cooking. I was l week post op, he was l week pre-op. We survived. His son won't even remember there was no Thanksgiving that day since his wife was cooking, and we relaxed and had a stress free Thanksgiving. If this causes you too much worry, maybe it is an option to relax at home and just say I am not feeling good (truth). It is about you right now, not struggling and worrying about what people think or will say. Have a Blessed Easter, that is what it's about.

I think it is so cool to have a buddy to go through it with. My hubby is very supportive but sometimes at a loss as how to help me because he can't feel what I feel.

Your right though it is about you and your mate right now and we have to make decisions others will find difficult sometimes. But that's okay!

[sissy13 138]

At 1st I only told my family which were all suportive but didnt tell everyone else bc I was kindof embarrassed that I couldn't do it on my own but now 4mo out and down 88lbs I dont care I tell everyone bc I feel great and I dont care what people think and I realized it was all in my head of what people would think and much to my surprise everyone has been very encouraging.

Edited April 10, 2014 by sissy13

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

I certainly wouldn't try to show up and fake everyone out that you're just sick or whatever. I plan to tell my parents the night before my surgery (that whole "if I die on the table I don't want them finding out that way" thing). That way they will know but they won't be able to or try to talk me out of it.

And, you mentioned driving -- don't go against what your doctor recommends. Three days out after surgery you can still be somewhat under the influence of the anesthesia and pain meds. Don't take a risk with your life and try to drive. If you can't find someone to drive you, I'd say you need to stay home.

Best wishes!

Ginger

[yodasplash 20]

Telling family can be stressful. My mother was supportive of my decision until she found out that I was having surgery in Mexico. After that, she constantly reminded me of every bad story she had ever heard, and about the down-sides of surgery. Not telling your family before your surgery is your decision, and I can understand it. But I would tell them after it's done. They can't talk you out of it at that point. They will have questions, and they will express their opinions. But you are doing this for you, and if they love you (which I expect they do) they will have to accept it. If not, let it be their problem. The only opinion that matters is yours. Use them as motivation to stick with the diet program, and lose the weight.

[AJ-NC 26]

I only told my husband and my 18 year old daughter. At the last minute, I called my mother and mother in law and told them that I was having a laparoscopic surgery to remove an unneeded body part. They asked questions but I didn't answer them. I am 3 weeks post op now and I still haven't told anyone else! Luckily my husband and daughter are completely supportive!!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

The best thing we ever did was keep this surgery to ourselves thanks to my husband's request. We focus on ourselves, and our "diet".