So the other night my surgeons office held a ceremony for everyone that had wls in 2013. My surgery was 10/21 so I was excited to go and see everyone's progress. I know what they say about expectations but it was really kind of depressing. They had people seated in groups by month, December, November, October then September, August etc.. as each group got up I expected (haha) that for the most part each group would be a little skinnier. With the exception of a few people the October, November December group was the thinnest! I wish I hadn't gone to this ceremony. I feel so discouraged after seeing all of these still fat people. I was one of the thinnest people in the whole room and I wasn't expecting that! Arg... I really need to find a way to get that picture out of my head!

I know what you mean. My last check-up I wasn't able to see my surgeon, but his co-worker. He did come see me when I was scheduling my next appointment because he wanted to see my progress. When we did speak for a minute or two he mentioned that I was an exception, and others were not doing as well. I was shocked because I thought everyone was doing well...Just goes to show that it is a committment and there are no easy ways.

Same thing happened to me. I tell my surgeon how I'm sure the numbers are wrong. He tells me the sleeve can help you lose 40-60 percent of excess body weight. I think I'm not far off from others and I have lost almost 100 percent of my excess body weight. He tells me I am the exception and not the norm and that most people only lose max of 65 percent of excess body weight.

Well done to you Skinny Girl. Good luck for the future

I haven't read the responses yet but I would have been one of those people who you thought were still very fat. See I am only 5ft tall and even though I have lost 60 pounds (surgery was exactly 3 months ago), I am still considered 'morbidly obese' according to medical terminology. BUT I lost 60 pounds!! I feel great and I'm thrilled to see the number on the scale go down instead of up (which I had been use to prior to starting this journey). This thread (original post) just reminds me that even though I feel great about losing weight that people who see me and don't know me still see me as someone very fat.

Edited March 18, 201412 yr by Ree

You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy.

Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology?

Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support!

Edited March 18, 201412 yr by SlowlybutSurely

@@Ree ,

I just checked, there are 7,220,000,000+ people in the world. Out of that number there are multitudes of undernourished that would see you as rich. I have been with them.

There are stunted jerks that would see you as fat and would let that be an issue for them. In those cases your size works like an insect repellent.

Then there are the folks like the ones on this forum. They may notice that you are heavy but it is not a factor in determining whether they want to love and support you. There is much more to you than your body composition and grown up people make such things a very low priority when extending friendship.

The most important opinion out of those 7,220,000,000 viewpoints is yours. You can chose to see yourself as a great human being who has taken her weight issues and health seriously and is bravely conquering her enemies. (That's how I see you). You become your best supporter and your home base so that whatever jerkoids throw at you, nothing will do you lasting harm....you have a place of healing.

You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy.

Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology?

Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support!

This is a forum in cyber space. There is nothing more the original poster can do but apologize.

Edited March 18, 201412 yr by gmanbat

You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy.

Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology?

Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support!

We all understand your point. We are not condoning the word fat or the meaning of it or the fact that is was said. What we are trying to get you to see is that there is nothing else she can do except apologize. You are right in your feelings. They are true and not unwarranted. But the fact remains that this is all that can be done. hopefully we have all taken away something from this thread that we can use or not use to encourage others.

There is no giving a pound of flesh to satisfy those who are upset by this thread. We get your thought process. We understand. Please don't be upset because we see it both ways.

I can tell from your posts that you are sensitive to others and their thoughts and most likely have experienced this yourself and been like me...Will remember until the day you die...But we must go on. You must go on. Consider her corrected. And that she has the free will to grow and change and see things differently then before...

I hope the very best for you in your journey. Like all of us...True success.....

I think the horse is dead, y'all.

Hahahaha. I was just thinking that!

(I'm certain some people read and respond to the OP without/before reading the rest of the responses. Just as those above were allowed to express their feelings on the subject, so should anyone else without being scolded or told that it's time to end the discussion just because a few people feel it's time. Just my opinion. )

a number of years ago, i went to see my doctor... one i hadnt seen since i was pregnant with my son, when i was not overweight. at the time i needed to lose maybe 40-50 pounds. we were discussing hormonal issues and dealing with stress... and i said, "maybe if my life wasnt just a big ball of stress i wouldnt be so fat!" you could tell from his response that vey few patients are willing to be so open about their weight issues. i dont know that i ever realized that. i have always been really candid with my doctors about my fatness, but i know now, that isnt the case with everyone. many people, even those who have had WLS are really sensitive about it and arent able to be humorous or lighthearted and take offense when i would not.

the word fat doesnt bother me. but many people are bothered by it. and that is just the way it is.

Having read all five pages of discussion about who may or may not voice or type opinions about any of the above topics, ideas, ideals, terminology, and personal physique of strangers both on and off the internet... I'm here to merely include my personal opinion that the proverbial and metaphorical horse has, in fact, been both proverbially and metaphorically flogged to death.

It's merely my opinion and should not be taken personally by anyone who wishes to continue to either metaphorically, proverbially, or physically flog any equine entity, either real or imagined; nor should my small voice be considered even the slightest bump in the road toward all-out necromancy and subsequent zombification of the aforementioned proverbial horse.

Having read all five pages of discussion about who may or may not voice or type opinions about any of the above topics, ideas, ideals, terminology, and personal physique of strangers both on and off the internet... I'm here to merely include my personal opinion that the proverbial and metaphorical horse has, in fact, been both proverbially and metaphorically flogged to death.

It's merely my opinion and should not be taken personally by anyone who wishes to continue to either metaphorically, proverbially, or physically flog any equine entity, either real or imagined; nor should my small voice be considered even the slightest bump in the road toward all-out necromancy and subsequent zombification of the aforementioned proverbial horse.

Oh, George...not the livestock!

You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy.

Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology?

Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support!

This is a forum in cyber space. There is nothing more the original poster can do but apologize.

NO! We can do a LOT more! PEOPLE CAN THINK BEFORE THEY SAY THINGS! ISN'T THAT THE EXACT MESSAGE WE'RE TEACHING OUR KIDS WITH ANTI-BULLYING? SAME THING! ADULTHOOD DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT OR CORRECT!

Edited March 18, 201412 yr by SlowlybutSurely

You people are making my point exactly! You see, an "apology" DON'T ERASE THE HURT THAT IT'S CAUSED but now-a-days people seem to think they can say anything and if it causes a big ruckus, just apologize and move on. I don't know, maybe we're taking out cues from politicians or something but while you might move on from after an apology, you can rest assured that the offended individual does not. Maybe they should but it's not always easy.

Here's my point: This site is a support group. If someone started at 300/350 pounds and was now 200 lbs and posted before & after pictures of their amazing 100 to 150 weight loss journey and someone posted under their pictures that they were "still fat", what type of support is that? Do you think that person would view this site as a support forum/group? Do you think that person would feel better about themselves if the person that posted that comment posted an apology?

Nevertheless, I'm done with this topic and will look for more positive topics in the future since this is my main point of support!

This is a forum in cyber space. There is nothing more the original poster can do but apologize.

NO! We can do a LOT more! PEOPLE CAN THINK BEFORE THEY SAY THINGS! ISN'T THAT THE EXACT MESSAGE WE'RE TEACHING OUR KIDS WITH ANTI-BULLYING? SAME THING! ADULTHOOD DOESN'T MAKE IT RIGHT OR CORRECT!

Seela, hon, could you hop in your time machine and go back a couple days and not say that thing you said? Oh wait. SlowlybutSurely... I get that this really hurt your feelings personally... And I understand - you don't even know how deeply I understand - that people should not say or do things without fully comprehending all the possible outcomes... But Seela can't take back what she said. She can only apologize, and try to do better in the future. You can choose to ignore her comments in the future, and I'm sure she'd understand, But what you're asking for right here, in all-caps, is impossible. She's already said what she said. There's no taking that back. It's there. The question becomes "how do we move forward?"