So the other night my surgeons office held a ceremony for everyone that had wls in 2013. My surgery was 10/21 so I was excited to go and see everyone's progress. I know what they say about expectations but it was really kind of depressing. They had people seated in groups by month, December, November, October then September, August etc.. as each group got up I expected (haha) that for the most part each group would be a little skinnier. With the exception of a few people the October, November December group was the thinnest! I wish I hadn't gone to this ceremony. I feel so discouraged after seeing all of these still fat people. I was one of the thinnest people in the whole room and I wasn't expecting that! Arg... I really need to find a way to get that picture out of my head!

Wow that's really sad. Those people are probably thrilled for the progress they've made.

Cheers to you for being the skinniest fat chick in the room

I came on here to share what I thought was an interesting experience. That was all. As I said before, I wasn't judging everyone. I believe most of us that are only a few months out would be curious to go to something like that and I believe my reaction was human nature. I left an honest post on here about something that caught me off guard and I think, whether everyone wants to admit it or not, if you'd gone you'd have had the same thoughts. Unsettling

I disagree. I think there are many of us who wouldn't have shared your thoughts.

I suspect that your surgeon performs thousands of procedures each year and for the most part, those who are successful no longer need the support and stop going to such events. Those who are struggling, still need the support, or need to feel better about themselves attend.

I wrote on here a long time ago that when I went to my first seminar. The woman they brought in that had WLS ( sleeve ) a year before looked amazing. It is not expected by my surgeon that we be stick thin but healthier.

I saw her before picture and then looked at her in awe. When we were done hearing her story she stood up to go and pulled the belt of her leather jacket tight. I watched as it seemed to go and go and go closer to her. i starred at her in amazement. She was the final nail that sealed my decision for the sleeve.

When I went home I did not talk about her story or how much she had lost. i talked about what I saw her do with that leather jacket. I said that is what I want to do.

Two days later my daughter handed me a gift bag with a short leather jacket that was ( seemed to me to be the smallest jacket I had ever seen.) She said mom..This is what you want to shoot for...When you can wear this your there.....I took it to the hospital at my next appointment and showed it to the team....

They were surprised that I was looking to be that small...I still am. I am 16 months out and have not gotten to wear that jacket yet..I will though....

Everyone looks at things different. I needed to see her in all her glory to realize that there was hope for me too. I think that is what @@Seela is trying to say..not judge them but to see where she herself will be in the future....I would be scared if I saw a room full of WLS patients and some had only lost a bit over time...I would be sad and worried for them too...

We all care about each other and always hope for success. My team told me to stop losing weight now...No I don't think so..Not in the jacket yet.....I will never forget that woman and the belt on her jacket.................. never!

Oh by the way..the jacket fits everywhere but my gut..Damn gut!!! LOL

Edited March 16, 201412 yr by RJ'S/beginning

Seela, I'm sorry to see people here jumping all over your observations from the meeting. You weren't judging, just commenting on what you saw.

I agree, it would have been more encouraging to see more success with people reaching and staying at goal. We all worry about gaining the weight back or not making goal. We all love to see wonderful "after" pix. I think I would have felt the same as you. Sounds like a depressing meeting.

Actually, this website, should be where we can ask those questions or bring up those issues. Stop bullying people for asking a simple question or are making an observation. If you want to educate them and help them better understand something, that's one thing, but to be out right mean is not okay! If you don't agree with something somebody posts, and you can't be nice, don't reply. For goodness sakes, show some decorum and grace to each other.

Edited March 17, 201412 yr by fit2Bme2014

I think everyone jumping down the OP's throat needs to grow up. I definitely understand where he/she is coming from and I don't feel it is pure negative judgment at all. If I had gone to something like that early on in my journey, I probably would have felt the same way.

Seela I feel the same way, you are making a public observation, thats what these forums are for.

For me im scared about having it done, when uve tried everything else u need this to work so badly that any uncertainty is scary, especially as a fat person you may have spent a lifetime of comparing and what ifs are a daily event.

But for me, my mindset tells me there is no time to relax, the early time is probably easier as its the adventure but I know there is never a good time to take ur eye off the ball.

But I want to weigh this against

I once worked with a petite woman who had gastric bypass, who went from maybe a size 18 down to a 16 or maybe a big 14. I was happy for her, but I'll admit, I did kind of think to myself that it was sad to go through surgery to only change a size or so. But for all I know, her health improved a ton. A few months later she transferred to my department, though, and I noticed that although she didn't eat a lot at once, she was eating treats all day long. It was a good cautionary tale for me.

I will be very disappointed if I'm big a year from now.

Pre and Post surgery I have spent a lot of time on line looking at before and after pictures for inspiration to help me in my Weight Loss journey. This web site has also provided lots of inspiration, help and guidance. Though the posters original comments came across as judgmental I truly believe she meant that she had gone to this meeting/show in hopes of gaining some inspiration from some of the patients that came before her, but she was disappointed in not seeing any super great weight loss stories. She can't help that she was the smallest person in the room. Somebody always has to be the largest, the smallest, the prettiest, the smartest....and so on. I do believe maybe her journey may not be as extensive as some of those other patients but still a difficult journey so she shouldn't be beat up for her comment. It just came out wrong and it is so difficult to truly decipher the meaning in the written word. I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping to the conclusion that she was judging everyone for being fat. We all have to glean our inspiration from where ever we can find it.

Keep pressing the wrong button lol.

So... my personal challenge is not to compare, I have no idea what losing a stone looks like as ive never done it and maybe if I concentrate on what losing a stone FEELS like I can manage my expectations.

Another thing ive learned recently is that I don't always like what I've read, it might even scare me but nevertheless one I have I gotta process it so whether I agree with a post at least it has given me more ammunition and information to make it work for me xx

1day1life4now, thats a nice way and positive way to look at it, it all helps

I can't say I agree with the thought process of that if one doesn't agree, one shouldn't comment. This forum is intended to exchange ideas, support, debate, discuss...

If one is unable to handle possible scrutiny or debate without getting hurt feelings, it's probably not wise to post on a public forum. While the OP may not have meant to come across the way many of us "heard" her, the title of this thread certainly did come across as harsh and judgmental in my opinion.

Imagine if others who were also at this event (op called it a show) were reading this, maybe someone who hasn't had the same success and is really struggling physically and mentally. Would it feel good to read here that someone was calling you fat on this forum meant for support and encouragement? Especially when you were attending a seminar/celebration that should have been a safe place for you?

This post saddens me. Not everyone started at a smaller weight. Some people have struggles. That person who still "looked fat" to you could have just been celebrating 50 lbs lost. My point is,please don't judge.

If you were referring to my comment, what I think it says and if not, it should say... if you CANT BE NICE don't respond. I've seen an inordinate amount of bullying and belittling in these forum and it's very disconcerting.

I can't say I agree with the thought process of that if one doesn't agree, one shouldn't comment. This forum is intended to exchange ideas, support, debate, discuss...

If one is unable to handle possible scrutiny or debate without getting hurt feelings, it's probably not wise to post on a public forum. While the OP may not have meant to come across the way many of us "heard" her, the title of this thread certainly did come across as harsh and judgmental in my opinion.

Imagine if others who were also at this event (op called it a show) were reading this, maybe someone who hasn't had the same success and is really struggling physically and mentally. Would it feel good to read here that someone was calling you fat on this forum meant for support and encouragement? Especially when you were attending a seminar/celebration that should have been a safe place for you?

I went to a support group when I was only 8 weeks out and I with the exception of 1 woman was by far the thinnest in the room. I was thinking, maybe everyone was very very large before surgery or maybe they just didnt lose well. One woman kept talking about how she loves drinking beer and drinking soda and how she cant stop and cant lose weight. I was soo annoyed to even be there that I havent gone back since. I'm now 7 months post op and doing well. Thinking of going back to the "support" group again to touch base with others...hoping for a better experience

If you were referring to my comment, what I think it says and if not, it should say... if you CANT BE NICE don't respond. I've seen an inordinate amount of bullying and belittling in these forum and it's very disconcerting.

I can't say I agree with the thought process of that if one doesn't agree, one shouldn't comment. This forum is intended to exchange ideas, support, debate, discuss...

If one is unable to handle possible scrutiny or debate without getting hurt feelings, it's probably not wise to post on a public forum. While the OP may not have meant to come across the way many of us "heard" her, the title of this thread certainly did come across as harsh and judgmental in my opinion.

Imagine if others who were also at this event (op called it a show) were reading this, maybe someone who hasn't had the same success and is really struggling physically and mentally. Would it feel good to read here that someone was calling you fat on this forum meant for support and encouragement? Especially when you were attending a seminar/celebration that should have been a safe place for you?

I wasn't referring to anyone in particular. I don't think anyone was being mean, belittling, bullying, etc. either, but I have my big girl panties on so I usually don't.