So the other night my surgeons office held a ceremony for everyone that had wls in 2013. My surgery was 10/21 so I was excited to go and see everyone's progress. I know what they say about expectations but it was really kind of depressing. They had people seated in groups by month, December, November, October then September, August etc.. as each group got up I expected (haha) that for the most part each group would be a little skinnier. With the exception of a few people the October, November December group was the thinnest! I wish I hadn't gone to this ceremony. I feel so discouraged after seeing all of these still fat people. I was one of the thinnest people in the whole room and I wasn't expecting that! Arg... I really need to find a way to get that picture out of my head!

Seela, that would have bummed me out also. I went to our hospital support group last night and came out feeling like you. Very few superstars there . I am sympathetic to the support aspect of the group but each session turns into a "band " vs "sleeve " rally. Which one is best ??? Blah blah blah . That's a question for the surgeon - not strangers . Just my opinion ... I like it here much better .

I usually do too until I get "judged" for a disappointing observation.

I usually do too until I get "judged" for a disappointing observation.

I understand where u are coming from. I don't see it as judging those people. It's just that we have committed ourselves to this surgery and it helps to see before and afters. Not to say these people were already finished losing or anything. Maybe they are slow losers like me. Or maybe more of those who are struggling a bit showed up wanting to see that inspiration as well. Maybe the ones who lost the most didn't want to come because they are out enjoying life now and are all wrapped up in. Their wonderful new beginning. I'm always looking at pics and dreaming of what might be in my future so it's easy to understand that you were kinda disappointed that you didn't see that. Doesn't mean you judged them in any way at all. (Hugs)

I understand where u are coming from. I don't see it as judging those people. It's just that we have committed ourselves to this surgery and it helps to see before and afters. Not to say these people were already finished losing or anything. Maybe they are slow losers like me. Or maybe more of those who are struggling a bit showed up wanting to see that inspiration as well. Maybe the ones who lost the most didn't want to come because they are out enjoying life now and are all wrapped up in. Their wonderful new beginning. I'm always looking at pics and dreaming of what might be in my future so it's easy to understand that you were kinda disappointed that you didn't see that. Doesn't mean you judged them in any way at all. (Hugs)

Exactly. Thank you

weight loss depends on exercise and diet....so maybe they dont have the given diet...or exercise...I hope I dont fall in this group...

EveN I noticed many fat people at our follow up meetings..and many were asking me..why I did this surgery when I am not so fat......sleeve is a tool to be used wisely.

weight loss depends on exercise and diet....so maybe they dont have the given diet...or exercise...I hope I dont fall in this group...

EveN I noticed many fat people at our follow up meetings..and many were asking me..why I did this surgery when I am not so fat......sleeve is a tool to be used wisely.

I wanted to comment on your statement of, " not so fat" smh people tell me that all the time and say o you shouldn't do the surgery just exercise. Which pisses me off I do exercise but having hypo thyroids is so hard so hard to lose weight. I need a tool that can help me stick my toe in the door then I'll bum rush my way in lol . Here's me now just getting my appointments in order hoping for a may date...

Although it was not the same kind of group, I went to my HMO's weight loss surgery support group for people before and after and veterans -- most of the people who kept coming back a year or more later had lost almost all of their weight and we're keeping it off. People only a few months out we're doing pretty well but struggling and brought their questions. Interesting to me was how well the women were doing a year and two years out--they looked great and seemed to really have their act together, speaking up appropriately and waiting so as not to interrupt, but offering support and ideas. there were also a handful of men who were a year to 18 months out--and I wondered if they had anyone at home have talked to them, because you could not get a word in edgewise with these guys. lots of over talk, whispered comments, and interrupting. they weren't even roundly outnumbered as a gender. After I got over feeling cross with them for the constant interrupting, I started to feel bad and wondered if they had friends to talk with, since I think women do that much more easily about such issues. Anyway, I spoke with the Cordinator afterwards and she confirmed that the odds worked that way from what she saw; people who kept coming back to the support group seem to be doing very well in general, and sticking with their program. She did not say much about the people who don't come, exempt by omission, and it left me wondering how easily accessible these support groups are to everyone. Hope so!

Honestly, if we don't deal with the issues that caused to be overweight to begin with, for me head stuff, then the surgery isn't going to be all that successful - it's just a tool.

I personally think that that's a very shallow way of looking at someone's journey, especially when you don't know where they've been or started from.

I had surgery in January and I don't go back to my surgeons until April my biggest question is how much should I be loosing at a time? It's been about 6 weeks and I've lost 34 lbs is that average or should I be losing more ?

I personally think that that's a very shallow way of looking at someone's journey, especially when you don't know where they've been or started from.

I wasn't "looking at everyone's journey" I was making an observation. .. geesh

I had surgery in January and I don't go back to my surgeons until April my biggest question is how much should I be loosing at a time? It's been about 6 weeks and I've lost 34 lbs is that average or should I be losing more ?

Um... that's amazing, your doing great

I personally think that that's a very shallow way of looking at someone's journey, especially when you don't know where they've been or started from.

I wasn't "looking at everyone's journey" I was making an observation. .. geesh

Actually what you said that everyone there was still fat. Like I said, you don't know where they were coming from or started from and that was a very shallow and rather useless observation. Everyone there could have been 100 lbs lighter from where they started. There are comments here that are basically "questioning" those people commitment to their journey, mental state, etc., when those people could have started at 400 lbs and have lost a tremendous amount of weight UNDER A YEAR!!! It's just my personal opinion but I think that we should worry about our own journey and stop the comparisons and definitely stop the negativity because that doesn't help anyone at all. We weight challenged people have dealt with the negativity for a lifetime already and we don't need it while we're working hard on our WL journey. I've lost 40 lbs AND I'M STILL MORBIDLY OBESE but I'm proud of my journey thus far and don't need anyone else to tell me that I'm still fat! I know that! THAT'S WHY I'M ON THE WEIGHT LOSS JOURNEY! I apologize if I sound combative but it perturbs me to no end when people think it's okay to call other people names, and especially FAT as if they don't know it and feel bad enough already!

Edited March 17, 201412 yr by SlowlybutSurely

It's said that recovering addicts that have been clean for six months to two years by the hardest or newly recovering addicts. I suspect the saying is for newly recovering food addicts or former fatties.

If the OP didn't intend it to be, she should know her post(s) on this thread come across as superlative and judgemental. Such a shame since that tone cannot be felt as supportive for many who are slower losers and/or are struggling

So the other night my surgeons office held a ceremony for everyone that had wls in 2013. My surgery was 10/21 so I was excited to go and see everyone's progress. I know what they say about expectations but it was really kind of depressing. They had people seated in groups by month, December, November, October then September, August etc.. as each group got up I expected (haha) that for the most part each group would be a little skinnier. With the exception of a few people the October, November December group was the thinnest! I wish I hadn't gone to this ceremony. I feel so discouraged after seeing all of these still fat people. I was one of the thinnest people in the whole room and I wasn't expecting that! Arg... I really need to find a way to get that picture out of my head!

Did you see where they started?

Wow that's really sad. Those people are probably thrilled for the progress they've made.

Cheers to you for being the skinniest fat chick in the room

Agree.

I just wrap my head around judging anyone's progress in their weight loss journey, especially having never walked in their shoes.