Spousal support

[hmjdreamingbig 93]

my husband has been really supportive since the start of this journey back in December. He has encouraged me, gone to all the appointments with me and stayed by my side the entire time I was in the hospital.

I am a really emotional person and become a hot crazy mess easily with just the slightest hormone flux. I do take meds to help (lol) I warned my husband about the possibility of the crazy fluctuations in hormones that could take place after this surgery. I clearly remember the nurse warning us as well at the 1st appointment.

The last few days I have been a BIG hot mess! Crying, yelling, lashing out, frustrated, angry, jealous. I'm sure there's more... Simply put...I had gastric bypass 5 days ago. I'm starving. I see people eat and it does something inside of me that seems unnatural. It feels like torture and a punishment. I become flooded with emotions and know it's too much. I have been trying to avoid the situations however in addition to the surgery i lost my grandfather the same evening as the surgery and to be honest I felt no emotion about that for a couple of those days as I was so doped up. I know I am an emotional eater. I know I am a mess..I am really trying to handle this but it's a LOT at once and right now honestly when people eat infront of me it Pisses me off. I am on a broth, Water, Jello diet till Sunday as I couldn't handle the shakes. For the most part I am healing well but the foodie issues are over taking me. My husband has yelled at me and made me feel pretty awful for having these hormone fluxes and issues. He has told me I am cruel and rotten and did so infront of our kids. Is this the same man who has been my biggest support?? Wtf?

I am also frustrated and upset as A.) When I arrived to town for the wake/funeral my father who was one of the few people I told about the surgery...had told my entire family!!! And B.) my husband has now, what he says is "confirmed" for some of his employees and another manager/co-worker friend from another store that I had it. Friends, I am so freaking hurt!! The 2 men In my life I should be able to trust the most!!! OMG!! My husband says he doesn't feel bad about telling his friend (who btw is a woman and I am ok with that but still..) as he needs someone to talk to because I am hard to handle right now. How should I even feel?? At this point I am so confused and hurt and lost all I keep thinking is how I really wanted this to be very private and now so many people know. I am embarassed, ashamed and now I feel like the spot light is on me with everyone watching to see if I fail. Not sure where to turn. Any advice?

Edited March 12, 2014 by hmjdreamingbig

[danagadd 36]

Okay I must say first breath! Lol it is okay to feel so many ways. You will have to work in your head hunger and that might take some time but you can do it. We tend to take out stuff on the people we love and are close to the most. Just remember you will do just fine you made this choice for a reason and u have to remember why it is you did it. I'm not sure why so many people don't want others to know about surgery. I think everyone in my life knows I had it and they all have been talking to me and there for me. So maybe it's not such a bad thing that people know. I take stuff out on my hubby too sometimes but we never go to bed mad! Just always know he has and will be there for you! I hope I have helped a little bit I'm not a good typer I'm more of a talker! Good luck

[music1618 879]

Honestly I would not say this is due to the hormone issues. You are grieving two losses right now. Of course you are a hot mess!!!

My husband was such a big supporter of me, and felt bad for eating in front of me. However we had some bumpy times during the beginning. Before the surgery we talked about him always brining bad stuff home when I was trying to eat better. He said he would not do that after surgery. Well guess what he brought home a chocolate cream pie about 3 weeks post op. He told me he got it for me because he knew I could not have solids yet. We normally handled this by me getting mad and staying in the bedroom, but I knew we had to do something different because I was not going to fail at this. So we talked, and he said he did not even really think about it. He said he wanted sweets still in the evening. Our compromise was that he would bring home things I would never want. I hate coconut cream pie, and that is what my husband began buying.

My point in telling you this - sit down and talk with your hubby. Tell him your feelings and allow him to tell you his. This is an emotional time for the entire family. Communication is the key!!! You can get through this.