Tomorrow is my surgery day. I can't sleep because I'm finally getting a little anxious. Don't get me wrong, I'm eager too... But anxiety is creeping in a bit.

It's odd, the range of emotions. I have many. Anger and resentment towards myself for letting my weight creep up so high, for not making healthier choices, for not doing this sooner. Lol

Sadness for not being able to consider food my comfort and friend. For not being able to hide behind my weight. For my kids, whose mother isn't able to keep up with them.

Terror of the IV, of not waking up. Both mine and my BF's mother went in for surgery and never made it back out. Mine had lung cancer and was in the middle of a surgical procedure and didn't make it. His was in the middle of a heart procedure and didn't make it. This scares me. I know that their circumstances were different and I have the utmost confidence in my surgeon... But I'm still scared.

Excitement that there really is an opportunity to restart my metabolism and, by making the right nutritional choices, I can lose weight and actually keep it off. Oh, the changes in life will be phenomenal.

Thankful that I've received so much support here and built great friendships with people that are able to understand my struggles. (You know who you all are and I feel blessed to have met you)

I know emotions run rampant right before surgery and being bipolar sure doesn't help, but it would sure be nice to know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Thank you for taking the time to read this long post, April

I felt the same way. Even though this was surgery number 6 for me I still had the fear of not waking up. It was over whelming. Even the morning of surgery laying in the hospital I wanted to back out because my fear was so great. Thank goodness my husband was there to talk me through it. It is the best thing I have ever done. You will see this too. My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. You will do great.

I felt the same way. Even though this was surgery number 6 for me I still had the fear of not waking up. It was over whelming. Even the morning of surgery laying in the hospital I wanted to back out because my fear was so great. Thank goodness my husband was there to talk me through it. It is the best thing I have ever done. You will see this too. My thoughts and prayers will be with you tomorrow. You will do great.

Thank you, Sherry. I'll definitely take all the prayers you send my way.

Best wishes, all is well, you will be fine! Try not to stress, think about your health being better and the cute clothes for the summer.

Best wishes, all is well, you will be fine! Try not to stress, think about your health being better and the cute clothes for the summer.

Exactly! You will be okay and able to look back at your anxiety and laugh :-)

I am exactly one week post-op and everyday things are getting slowly getting back to normal.

Thanks guys. I'm thankful for the encouragement.

Being a bit nervous as you approach the time is totally normal, as you have read here many times... but this is laproscopic, so much easier on your system and you KNOW the overall benefits that can come from this...a much more healthier YOU... we are here for you, but YOU'VE GOT THIS!!! Congrats!!!

Being a bit nervous as you approach the time is totally normal, as you have read here many times... but this is laproscopic, so much easier on your system and you KNOW the overall benefits that can come from this...a much more healthier YOU... we are here for you, but YOU'VE GOT THIS!!! Congrats!!!

Thank you for all of your encouragement. I really needed that.

Guess what, SuperFab? We are sleeve twins! I get sleeved tomorrow as well. You summed up ever single concern that I have. My biggest issue, even beyond the fear of never waking up again, is the issue of my relationship with food. It's so difficult for me to believe that by this time tomorrow I will have less than 20% of my stomach left and I will be physically unable to binge eat like I have before. I have used food as a drug for so long that I just don't know what it's like to cope without it. I've done everything to prepare myself since my first consult last November and now I guess all I can do is jump in with both feet and sink or swim. I have no choice but to get a divorce from compulsive eating as I know it's going to shorten my life. I'm also scared about becoming dehydrated--I've heard lots of horror stories. I plan to keep a Water bottle with me at all time and sip, sip, sip!!!

Please wish me luck and I wish you all the best!!!

Oh BTW, I am also bipolar

Oh BTW, I am also bipolar

Wow, I feel exactly the same. Exactly. Thank you so much for showing me that I'm not alone in these feelings.

I do wish you the best of luck and will be meeting you on the loser's bench!!!

I get sleeved tomorrow also... I am very nervous of the not waking up part... But we made a great decision... Good luck tomorrow

I get sleeved tomorrow also... I am very nervous of the not waking up part... But we made a great decision... Good luck tomorrow

Good luck to you too! Yes, this is a huge life changer and great decision

Superfab I didn't see ur post until after I asked in the other board how ur feeling. I truly understand all ur concerns and will be praying for u.

I almost passed out when they put the IV in I was so scared and before you know it your waking up I can't recall much of it lol. Your going to be fine they move so fast Good luck

April you are phenomenal. I'm really excited for you. We were to be sleeved around the same time and alas it was not in the cards for you in 2012. This is your year, baby! I'm just really excited for you to get mobility back and to face your fears and come through in all the glory that is you.

I love your humor. Sometimes I think we have the same gene pool. Lol.

Be well. Breathe.