Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

How can I support my Awesome husband?



Recommended Posts

My dear hubby and I have been married for nearly 20 years, and he is my EVERYTHING!

He had band-to-sleeve revision in mid-November 2013. His goal is to lose 100 lbs. In the eight weeks following surgery, he lost 55 lbs. But in the past 3 weeks, the scale is not moving. I tell him all the time how great he is doing, but I can tell he is starting to get discouraged.

I'm not sure how to best support him during the inevitable 'stalls'. I figure this group can give me the best advice - - so.... what do you recommend?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Offer to help take measurements & remind him that sometimes when it does not show on the scale he very well may be losing inches as his body tries to catch up to the amount of weight he has lost so far. Also kindly remind him that stalls are common but that as long as he stays on track the weight will sbegin to move again & to just be patient. Remind him that this is not a race to the finish line but a life long journey & that we will all get to our goal at our own pace! I hope this is helpful to you & I wish your husband the best success with his sleeve journey! You can also tell him to come on & check us out here @ bariatric pal if he feels he needs more support or encouragement!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

That's so awesome how supportive you are, keep going with the encouragement and stay positive, as others have said stalls are common, I think the scale is only part of it, the other part is how you feel and how much better clothes fit. Losing 55lbs is nothing to sneeze at.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@cherbear33 - thanks for mentioning measurements. That is something that he has never done but might be helpful when the scale isn't moving. I just wish i had thought to take his starting measurements!! Snap!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oh, it is sooooo all about watching the measurements change during stalls...

Don't let him step on the scales. Lots of distraction required.

I was bordering on horrified after a huge stall when I finally measured my waistline. I'd lost 6 inches. I kid you not!

Lots of fun activities to pass the time :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@dreambig - Thanks for the advice. As he keeps losing weight, there has been lots of 'adult time' ;)

We hid the scale today and agreed to weigh only once a week. I'm more stressed over that than he is. (Since his surgery, I've been losing weight too.)

Our new habits include:

1) splitting Entrees when we eat out

2) keeping lots of fresh fruit around to snack on

3) giving the girl scouts a donation, instead of buying Cookies

I've never been a good cook, but I have tried a few healthy recipes and my kitchen skills are improving :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're an awesome wife!! Best of luck to you and your husband!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow kudos to you for being so helpful to your sleeved hubby! I think having nuts and Jerky and deli meat as well as cheese around might help him better than high sugar fruit right now. Id also suggest exercising with him and taking walks. Stalls happen. I'm in one now as well. I get discouraged but also get more upset when my hubby brings it up. I'd say talk about it if he wants to but also be willing to entirely ignore it and congratulate him big time once its over.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Have him increase his calories and Protein for a couple of days. That's what broke my stall.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks to all for the supportive response. Looks like the scale is beginning to move again. After five weeks of no change, he dropped three pounds this week. He increased Proteins and upped his treadmill time. I'm so proud of him!

The journey with him has made me so much more aware of the commitment that it takes to be successful after weight loss surgery. I have respect for each of you and the supportive community that you are creating here. Good Luck!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×