Postop Relationships

[MsVictorious1020 497]

Has anyone noticed their weight loss has impacted the dynamic of their relationships or dating? I know I'm a complicated case because I have a lot of emotional and self esteem issues but I was just curious if anyone else had issues finding love or keeping love Postop? I'm having a hard time with all this newfound attention and I've noticed I've become obsessed with my appearance. I also share a lot of pics on support sites, IG, FB. Not because I'm looking for attention or compliments but more so to inspire others and give them hope it can be done. I've been told more than once I'm constantly seeking attention and I dismissed it of course. But another part of me is starting to wonder am I? Are they right?! I don't want my insecurities/issues to come in between me and love. I'd welcome any thoughts!

[Nurse_B 270]

I'm very early out, one month. I am excited and nervous to get back into the dating world. It's been so long, I also have self esteem issues when it comes to men, I've felt very ashamed of my appearance and not worthy of that kind of attention. I can completely see how you are excited and can like the attention, it's not a bad thing!! However, I can see how peoples jealousy can make you feel bad about your excitement over the weight loss, people can be petty and make us feel bad for accomplishments. I am inspired by your weight loss!

[Photo925 100]

This is a tricky topic. I think that you should be proud of your accomplishment and that posting to support sites is great to show people that it can be done and give them inspiration. I think posting to Facebook or instagram may be a different story. I have had that friend before who only felt worth if men were giving her attention so she was constantly posting new pics of herself to get the positive remarks to feed her ego. Im not in anyway saying that that is what you are doing, but I understand why someone would think that if they were just seeing you post picture after picture. I think ultimately you should be proud of your accomplishment and not really worry about it...this is all about you being happy with you. I also think that there are a lot of people who do not understand how sucky it is to feel fat and ugly for so many years and I'm not going to feel bad after my surgery for showing off a bit cause it feels so good to finally be proud of how you look. As for love...it will come when you least expect it...just be happy with you and be open to the idea. My two cents anyway...hope that was helpful (and didn't come off as mean in any way cause I didn't mean it to be!!!)

[MsVictorious1020 497]

Thank u very much for ur kind words and support. I know it's not a conscious thing. The attention seeking behavior. It's not like I take a pic and say, I wonder how many likes/comments this will get?! I'm just excited and also want to help others. I've been approached by countless friends on FB and in life who have told me my posts have inspired them to do more about their health. Which means the world to me. I was obsessed with before and after pics preop. It's what got me through my scariest moments.

As for love, I haven't been looking for it. Actually I was avoiding it like the plague but recently made a connection with someone. I let him in and he too has issues with self esteem. He's extremely insecure and jealous. So I'm not sure if it's his insecurity or my behavior or the combo of both. My spins. I just know I can't in good conscience continue a behavior that's harmful to those I care about.

[Photo925 100]

I'm totally with you as far as avoiding love for right now. I split with my ex last May and dated a bunch right after. But decided the right thing for me to do right now if focus on being healthy and getting myself where I need to be and then I figure out love a little later on (of course it doesn't help when the ex emails on Christmas to say he regrets splitting...only took you 7 months to figure that one out!! ) but regardless...It sounds weird to say, but I'm all about me right now!! I'm going to be selfish for the first time in my life and make me the most important thing!!! I think you should do the same, get your own insecurities in check and don't allow anyone else s insecurities to feel bad about yourself or your accomplishments.