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Starting to feel like a freak?



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I'm starting to feel like a freak. Just yesterday I saw someone from work that I haven't seen in awhile. She could not help herself from stareing. She looked at me strangely and asked if I was ok. She asked if I was sick or something cause I looked different. She even had to take a better look at me and turned the light on to see me. I work with people in a hospital setting at night, so the lights were off in the bedroom where I seen her. She just could not believe my change. Another staff also asked that same night if I was ok. She also said I looked sick. I'm was so imbarrased and now I'm afraid to bump into people I havent seen in awhile. Maybe they think I'm dieing of some sort of illness. So depressed.

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I usually just tell people that I've been watching my food intake more (not a lie) and exercising more (also not a lie) if I don't feel like explaining my whole story to them. I do feel that some people are just on a need to know basis regarding my procedure. I do get questioned every now and then but haven't gotten the are you sick remark. Don't let it get you down as you should know in fact you are getting healthier. Best of luck continuing along your journey. Keep your head up Rosci.

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I too know how you are feeling...i have become an object of former friends to gawk at to see the big changes.....I hate it, but I am now ready for them.....

Think about it and plan your comment or no comment at all...You got this!!!!!!!!!

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This sounds like it might be a bit more than people noticing your weight loss. It could be as simple as the dreaded 'gaunt' or 'ageing' look we can all get when we disproportionately lose fat from our faces - if this bothers you I can highly recommend botox and particularly fillers.

However, are you sure you're healthy? Are you taking your Vitamins? Is you Protein intake ok? Could you be anemic? I think a full blood work-up might be in order. Sometimes, it takes others to point out a problem we can't see.

Good luck :-)

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I think it's just a matter of people being accustomed of you looking a certain way. I get amazed stares whenever I would wear a 'fro instead of weave. Now multiply that by twenty when you lose weight. Just like it is taking my head/thinking a while to catch up with the changes in my body, the same goes for the thought process of other folk. Hate that you are feeling like a sideshow, but they are adjusting to the new you.

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Rocsi, just smile your biggest smile and laugh your biggest laugh and say I feel like a million dollars! Then brush them off quickly saying, "sorry, I got great things to go do"! LOL Kill them with that positive attitude and don't let anyone get you down!!!

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I tell you what...I'd rather be a freak in a side show sticking needles through my cheek than be really sick and/or dead.

It's not so bad...being different.

I am not fond of a lot of what the masses are doing to each other...fitting in with them is not a priority for me.

I'm inclined to choose my standards from my own heart and mind contemplation, not from a percieved consensus from the mindless hordes.

Edited by gmanbat

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Oh honey I hear ya!

I'm getting lots of comments too that I would rather not hear. I just tell myself that the novelty of my more slender bod will eventually wear off for them, and I can stay a healthy weight forever and that will be who I AM.

Rest assured that there WILL come a point where everyone who you've known will have seen the new you, and new people you meet will only know you as the new you!

Do what Linda said above ^

And enjoy the new you!

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Thanks all. I have been taking all my Vitamins and protiens. I feel great but perhaps my face is showing signs of age which I'm not happy about. Botox and fillers may be needed. Thanks for all the comments.

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Ugh. I've worked at the same hospital for 23 years. Hospital employees have zero filter. Especially night shift. I have gotten sidetracked from the frank feedback in the past. I'm preop, have lost about 15 pounds and I've already had a few notice. When I was in my 20's and had a lot less to lose, I did Jenny Craig and lost 42 pounds. I had people I had never talked to comment on my weight. They think you should feel thrilled they noticed. I just wanted to say "MYOB and stop looking at me, you don't even know me!" Night shift takes a huge toll on your body. Mixed with nutritional deficits (if that's the case) could really do a number. Rest! Take a sick day to sleep and eat well. And then tell them to get back to work!!!! When I start loosing, I'm gonna make myself look too busy to chat. Hopefully that will fend some off. There are some great threads in other forums with some good comebacks. I wish you strength!!!!

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So, when someone makes a big deal about my weight loss, I look them straight in the eye and say, "Thank you. I had weight loss surgery." That usually shuts them up. There really is no cliche response to that statement, so mostly I just get that deer-caught-in-headlights look, and life goes on.

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I am 10 days post op and haven't been out and about yet but in my experiences with periods of successful weight loss in the past, people ALWAYS think I'm sick! Granted, there was a time when I was very sick and lost a lot of weight, but I'm always confused when I'm energetic and happy, but people think I must be ill.

Just smile and say you've never felt better. :)

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Thanks all. I have been taking all my Vitamins and protiens. I feel great but perhaps my face is showing signs of age which I'm not happy about. Botox and fillers may be needed. Thanks for all the comments.

I have heard from several vets on here that your face may fill in again given time. The fat in your body can redistribute and the skin of your face can firm up a bit. Me? I'd trade my fat ass for a thin face, personally.

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Misty, LOL! I am with you, we are our age and cannot change it unless you want to be sculpted expensively by a plastic surgeon, however, I will accept my age and hope for a little butt too - Look to the positives everyone!

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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