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Feel like a bulimic...could use some help



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Hi gonnabeskinny!!

I think I met you at Dr. Liu's office. Acutally, it had to be you because you told me that you just got it done and I thought you looked great and had it quite a while. (you have blonde hair and were wearing red that day...I think) LOL!! Anyways, you showed me your port site so I could see it because I was concerned about the surgery. That was so sweet of you to do that for me. And, isn't Hollywood ridiculous in some ways...because you were totally beautiful at the weight you were. But, living here myself, I totally get it! I'm a singer and all my friends are dancers, actors and singers. So, being the fat one in the bunch wasn't fun...but, they all accepted me anyways. Now, they are really proud and supportive of me. I've lost 30 so far. YEAH!!

But, I got another fill on 6/12/07 and it's kicking my butt. I called Dr. Liu's office today to let them know that I'm pretty much throwing up everything. They reminded me to really slow down on eating and drinking and to act like my surgery was just performed. I have to admit that it has helped a little. But, a few bites and I'm done otherwise, I PB. I hate that and it hurts!!

Anyways, best of luck to you and your career.

Charlotte

im starting to totally feel bulemic, in fact o take a towel to bed with me, if i have a shake or a 100 calorie pudding at night it comes up and comes through my nose its gross, i ate a big cookie on the pkane yesterday and ot all came up, im restricted pretty lightly and have been really siccesful since december losing almots 50 pounds , but my portal is sticking out like a giamt wart and i keep upchucking , i dont want to be BULEMIC, its the last thing i bnargained for, but the weight loss is soooo addictive,

np im not that famous by the way to the popel who are im ing me im juts an actress in hollywood who most of you have barely heard of.

people keep asking me if im star jones or othe rpeople and im really no biog deal im just an average actress trying to get down to actress size.

im not some uber famous tabloid person.

i dont go on tv and im just not THAT famous, im well known in the community thats it.

okay wellthank god thi site exists because the privacy is very important to me what little i do have i need to keep quiet, and i think thats my right!

thanks

gonna be almost am!

banded dec 21

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Wow that sounds so much like me. It's such a hard thing to admit. I feel like I have had a surgical eating disorder. I vomit 90% of everything I eat. The only thing I can really eat is chips,tuna w/ tons of mayo, crackers and thats all I pretty much eat. Sometimes I even vomit liquids. Its not tramatic when I vomit. It's very smooth, no noise or force. It is almost like I just bend over and it will come out with a small cough. Its so hard to stop doing this because I've lost so much weight. I only have 20 more pounds to go. I don't feel like I can stop myself. Did you gain weigth when you got your unfill? I'm glad im not the only one. I know its not good but it works for me.

I have the same exact problem and our diets are amazingly similar. ;) I mostly eat tuna w/mayo and Protein shakes. Sometimes I think the reason I have lost so much weight is because I put off eating until I have no choice. But it has forced me to learn alternatives.

You like chips and can eat them so try this product:

J&D Fine Foods | Nuts By The Pound | Dried fruit By The Pound | candy By The Pound | Gift Baskets | Wholesale Bulk Nuts

Another source of fruits and veggies:

V8® - V8® V.Fusion™

Another product I found that I really like and I can't believe me... of all people even tried it! It's from the dreaded health food store. Gahhh... but this stuff actually works. It's Healthy Habits brand "Feel Good Anti-Stress" and it comes in a dropper bottle. 48 drops is supposed to be added to 8oz water/juice and it's supposed to make a pear tea. I hate tea. So I just put it in about an ounce of Water and down it. If I take this 30-60 minutes before I want to eat solids I have fewer problems. It doesn't cure anything but I have to admit there is a significant difference. If I put it in apple juice (about an ounce) I hardly taste it. But it really doesn't taste like tea either, it tastes like watered down juice.< /p>

For a no-carb alternative to crackers (keeping in mind your are exchanging carbs for calories) try this:

Kitchen Table Bakers Gourmet Wafer Crisps

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As a former bulimic I completely understand exactly what you are saying. PLEASE try to go talk to someone. I'm so proud of you that you were able to have the strength to come here and post this. This is more than just a medical issue (ie your band and your esophagus), this is an emotional issue. Believe me, PBing is not the answer. Try to go to liquids for a few days (like a detox) to let your esophagus heal and to get in control of your emotions for a few days. If there is nothing to PB, you won't be tempted to do it. Go back and think about physical hunger versus head hunger and be mindful of everything you put in your mouth. Note the taste, the texture and chew, chew chew before you swallow.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this but admitting you are having this issue is a very big first step. I hope you are feeling better soon. Please keep us updated.

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I'm going in tomorrow for an unfill also. I've been throwing up and REALLY tight for 2 weeks since my first fill. I only had 1 cc but it must be too much. I'm leaving town on saturday for 2 weeks on business and was afraid to leave town this tight with such limited food choices and being so uncomfortable. Did your unfill help out?

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:help:Hey Michele,

BE CAREFUL!

I too am in the process of going through all the hoops to find out why I THROW UP all the time. I am unable to eat very much yet I throw up or choke on anything that I put in my mouth. I have gone for the swallows and they can't find anything wrong with the band.... Yesterday I went for an upper GI scope and they still can't find why I throw up. I had my surgery on Aug 10, 2005 and I have only lost about 40 pounds since then. Now they are suggesting that I remove the band. After all this and all the money I paid to get the band done.... This pretty much SUCKS!

All I know is that I am not ready to go through surgery again and I am so tired of throwing up. The doctor told me yesterday that some people just can't handle having that foreign object in their bodies. I have no answers for you, but if you hear anything... please let me know!

ALOFA

This is a really long story, but i will try to make it short.

My Mom went in the hospital and died back in Dec. My Dad lives next door to me and I have totally had to take him under my wing. Let's just say the stress has been tremendous. Back in (I think) Jan. I wasn't too tight, but the stress would cause me to get really tight and PB all the time. I knew it was a bad thing, but it kept happening. I had a slight fill done about a month ago because I haven't lost any weight recently. I still find myself throwing up if I get the slightest pressure because it's so easy to do and makes me feel better instantly. I KNOW it's wrong, and I know I can make my band slip, but for some reason I keep doing it. I will eat too fast or drink something too soon and up it comes. I finally came to terms with the fact that this is an awful lot like what bulimics do. I am scared. I go for a barium swallow to make sure everything is ok in a few weeks, but I need a good kick in the butt. Please don't make me feel any worse than I already do, but any advice would be appreciated. It took alot to come here and admit this.

Michele

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Now that I have read about all of us that throw up too much.... What suggestions are there in fixing the problem? Should I get the band out? Should I just learn to live with it? HELP. I guess I wouldn't mind throwing up if I was loosing a lot of weight, but only 40 pounds in 2 years stinks! I am unable to get a fill, because I can't swallow at all with the fill. ANYBODY HAVE ANY ANSWERS???????

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Now that I have read about all of us that throw up too much.... What suggestions are there in fixing the problem? Should I get the band out? Should I just learn to live with it? HELP. I guess I wouldn't mind throwing up if I was loosing a lot of weight, but only 40 pounds in 2 years stinks! I am unable to get a fill, because I can't swallow at all with the fill. ANYBODY HAVE ANY ANSWERS???????

Not sure yet. But, my doc started me on Luvox a couple of weeks ago. He claims it changes the nerve impulses between the brain and stomach. He referred to something written by Dr. Fox where the brain believes there is more restriction than there is.

I have to admit, it's working. I ate steak for the first time Saturday night since being banded. I went from barfing 30+ times a week to 4 times last week.

I wouldn't get the band out, but I would be changing your dietary habits. If you have lost 40lbs in 2 years you are likely drinking your calories. Even with the problems we have we shouldn't be consuming more calories than we need, there isn't any value in that. After discovering I can eat real food now I went nutso over the weekend. Steak, salad, fish, (understand, I'm referring to two full dinners on Saturday several hours apart) etc. That came to a quick end today. I'm back to counting calories, carbs, and Protein grams. Plus I did 116 minutes of cardio today. You know, eat today - pay tomorrow. Today I paid and I will pay again tomorrow. I won't get back into old habits, I just flat out refuse.

So even if you are drinking your calories you still need to make better food choices. What about exercise, how many minutes of hard cardio are you doing daily?

I'm really not trying to come off as a lecturer, I'm trying to come off as the person that has the same problems as you and I get it. It's hard, I totally relate. But we have to work with calories at the same time. It's not easy but it can be done. Maybe I barf a lot but that doesn't mean I have no control over caloric intake and exercise. ;)

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that is quite strange i have been saying the same thing about myself... for the past two weeks for some unknown reason i would take 1 or 2 bites of something then have theat feeling of pressure and go to the bathroom to throw it and more up... on occassion, i almost did not make it to the bathroom. it wants to come up, i am not forcing it. but why has this started? i compare myself to bulemics also, but i am not gorging myself with food then throwing up for a high... i just get this tight feeling then almost like i cannot breathe, then i have to release it...

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that is quite strange i have been saying the same thing about myself... for the past two weeks for some unknown reason i would take 1 or 2 bites of something then have theat feeling of pressure and go to the bathroom to throw it and more up... on occassion, i almost did not make it to the bathroom. it wants to come up, i am not forcing it. but why has this started? i compare myself to bulemics also, but i am not gorging myself with food then throwing up for a high... i just get this tight feeling then almost like i cannot breathe, then i have to release it...

I have actually kept the slime and food in my mouth,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,when it comes up until I can get to the ladies room. Now that is a terrible feeling. My body brings it up not me. Occasionally something will stick and I will hurt awhile and finally say this is enough and usually all I have to do is bend over and it starts coming up. I am glad you can relate to this as it helps to go thru this together.

I am waiting on a fill right now. I have slight restriction at lunch. Hardly any at dinner, but with some food at dinner it is a no go. Usually it is my meat that even hangs up at dinner time. I don't even try bread as I know better.

Hang in there.

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yeah the slime!!! where the heck did that stuff come from??? my gosh!!! when I do go to throw up I am just overloaded with that nasty stuff... And I too, can just bend over then cough and it will throw up...

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

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        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

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