Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Just when you think it's about to be smooth sailing.......BAM!



Recommended Posts

Girlfriend you find someone to look after them babies while you are gone and the rest is a wrap. I speak from experience. Both my parents are dead and gone god bless their souls. I have no husband, no children and a brother and a half sister who both live in my city but are self absorbed. I prepped my home for surgery the weeks leading up to it by doing laundry, changing sheets and shopping for post op things like broth, Jello, etc... I packed my bag for the hospital and drove my self there. Hell, I even arranged to have flowers delivered to myself. I arrived and was asked a million times "who's here with you?" my response was "no one, please make sure my bags are brought up with me after surgery and in case of emergency call my brother" Sometimes you just gotta do what needs to be done help or no help. My brother did drive me home from the hospital but just in case I had cab fare on hand too! Shoot, people always think they need to be flanked by a bunch of family in the hospital.

That is SO awesome that you sent yourself flowers! Love this :lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thankfully everything is now in place. My child will spend the night with the neighbors kids and go to school from there the next day. I'm putting them on the list so he can be picked up after school and he'll remain there until I get home. My mother is coming to the house to sit with me once I'm home (she's 77 and has a walker so she'll just be around to make sure I don't get a fever) I'm her youngest so she's the type that will just sit at the foot of the bed and look at me..."Mom go watch tv or something!" Ha ha I am ready to go and comfortable with my plans.....My Plan C: To drive myself, bring my bag in and say I was dropped off. I figure I can find someone to pick up me & my car for the trip home, most of my friends work til 5pm so it will be easier for them to get me than it is to drop me off.

I drove myself to the hospital, parked in patient parking, took my things with me..two days later, my mom picked my car up, she kept it a few weeks, until I was ready to drive again...and guess what, I have a competent husband that could have taken me, he wasn't supportive of my gastric bypass, come to find out, he was scared...men...and children, well good luck and you will be fine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

For some reason I'm guessing my opinion won't be well received but I can deal. :D I totally understand your frustration and annoyance. It sucks to depend on someone and have them let you down and I'm thrilled to hear that you were able to work it out. That said, I would never ask my child to put off her education for an elective surgery. She doesn't determine class start dates, I assume, and it's not fair of you to ask her to put off her life for an entire semester to accommodate you. You don't need someone at the hospital and the staff there can handle your belongings. All you really need is a ride there and a ride home. I didn't want my husband to take a vacation day from work (I'd much rather spend that precious time somewhere tropical) so he took me, waited as long as he could and came back nine hours later when he got off. He only stayed 15 minutes or so so that he could get home to our kids and I had my mom drive me home the next day. No big deal. Certainly not worth the anger. I don't think she is being selfish or inconsiderate. She is living her life. If she had planned a spa day or a trip to the mall, you would be totally justified in your feelings, but education trumps a ride to the hospital in my opinion. Would you bust your ass to help her? I bet you would because you are the parent. That's the way it works. Is our hard work always repaid 100%? Eh...maybe not but that's ok. I exist to see my kids thrive and the fact that she is working on improving her life through education just as your are through surgery should make you proud. Good luck to you!

lipsticklady, I don't think she wanted her daughter to delay school, I'm sure she's very supportive of her daughters education, she's referring to the fact that her daughter should have told her about school ahead of time or she could have told her about school when the mom told her she needed her help at that time...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You're right...it's not received well. You have no idea of the back story of me and that child, and I'm all for her getting her education. She PURPOSELY went out and signed up KNOWING she committed to taking me to the hospital. You don't do things like that. Now she had a court appearance for Friday Oct.25th and she wanted me to be there, I made Sure not to go to work that day, take her older child to the babysitter, wake up extra early to get there on time.....for what? For her to call me two hours later saying she overslept and missed court altogether. But I'm expected to bend over backwards for her right? Cause I'm her mom huh? That should have been the writing on the wall for me that day because if she can't be there to secure her own child why would she not plan something else for me? I don't care what you say, this is surgery and there's always a risk, there's no way in h%ll I would go out and plan something else when my mom is going in the hospital. My son called me yesterday and said that he's going to take off work to come down from NY and be with me. He said he doesn't care if he loses his job because he wants to make sure his mother is alright (and he has two small kids that he's raising). That's the difference in my children's mind set. So thanks for your opinion.....but you don't know what your talking about.

i agree totally and I do understand.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

So you would rather her put off her future for an entire semester or school year for your surgery? As I stated, if she was doing something frivolous with her time, I would be cussing her right along with you (well, probably not -- not a good parenting tool), but we are talking about SCHOOL, her FUTURE, her possible livelihood. As for her court case, that's your choice, not your job. I can tell you that if it was my child that had a court case that she needed me to help her with, I would have been at her door and I would have dragged her butt there myself to make sure that she was on time, because again, her future is at risk if it was a criminal matter. You are correct, I don't know your backstory. I don't know your history. I don't know you and I don't know your child. I do, however, know that as a parent, my child's education would come before anything else, including surgery. If something were to go wrong, there is nothing my children could do to stop it and they don't need to be there for it. She said she could take you and if sitting there while you are in surgery and the recovery room for hours is more important to you than her going to school, so be it. I don't understand it, but I certainly won't argue your choice to feel the way you do. Good luck on your journey!

lipsticklady, I noticed you post everywhere and that's all good, but your comments has no connection, you seem to dig deep and miss the point at all times, I'm just saying, she never said she doesn't support her daughter's education, you need to read and re-read before commenting on people's quote.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl, I've pissed off three people I didn't give birth to today already. Don't sit too close to me, you might get hit with something.

I'm not feeling you, you bragging about pissing off people, people like you have no life, sit behind a computer or whatever, make comments you would never voice in person, don't get me wrong, I'm not pissed, I just want you to know I see you and I know your type.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Girl, I've pissed off three people I didn't give birth to today already. Don't sit too close to me, you might get hit with something.

I'm not feeling you, you bragging about pissing off people, people like you have no life, sit behind a computer or whatever, make comments you would never voice in person, don't get me wrong, I'm not pissed, I just want you to know I see you and I know your type.
It is very frustrating when our children are in considerate of us parents. It would feel different if your daughter could have been a bit more supportive. Hopefully she follows through with finishing her classes. I like that a neighbor was so generous to helping u out. :P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

lipsticklady, I noticed you post everywhere and that's all good, but your comments has no connection, you seem to dig deep and miss the point at all times, I'm just saying, she never said she doesn't support her daughter's education, you need to read and re-read before commenting on people's quote.

My comments have connection. It's a shame you can't see it. That said, this topic has been dead for awhile. Good for you for bringing it back up! ;)

Oh, and telling me what I *NEED* to do won't get you far, I promise.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm not feeling you, you bragging about pissing off people, people like you have no life, sit behind a computer or whatever, make comments you would never voice in person, don't get me wrong, I'm not pissed, I just want you to know I see you and I know your type.

I'm not feeling you, you bragging about pissing off people, people like you have no life, sit behind a computer or whatever, make comments you would never voice in person, don't get me wrong, I'm not pissed, I just want you to know I see you and I know your type.

I never make comments I wouldn't make in person, believe that. And no, you don't know me any more than I know you. Your level of pissed or not concerns me not a bit. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      Four days post surgery. I am sipping as fast as I can and getting NO WHERE near the goal of 60 - 80 grams of protein or the 64 oz of liquids. I just feel FULL. I don't know if it can still be the gas build up (I would think by now that would be gone) but it is a struggle to drink. And so far I have not had the nausea or spasms and don't want to wander into that territory by pushing too hard with liquids. I about passed out today as it was my most "strenuous" day. Went from second story to basement for shower and I was sure I was going to pass out. Looking back on my last few days I have had a total of less than 1000 calories. Am I just not getting enough nourishment in me? Once again a friday where I can't get ahold of the doc until Monday rolls back around so I am hoping maybe someone here has some experience on how to keep energy going. I do have fibromyalgia too and that may be where some added fatigue comes into play. How did you all fair with the goals the week after surgery?
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      2 days until I fly out to San Diego to have my Bypass Surg. in Tiajuana Mexico. Not gonna lie, the nerves are starting to surface. I don't fear the surgery itself, or the fact that I'm traveling alone, but its the aftermath that I'm stressing about the most, after this 8 week wait. I'm excited to finally be here, but I am really dreading the post surgical chapter. I know its going to be tough, real tough and I think I'm just in my head to much now that the day i here. Wish me luck, Hopefully I'm one of the lucky ones, and everything goes smoothly. Cant wait to give an exciting update,. If there is anyone else have a June bypass or even a recent one, Id love to have someone to compare war stories with. Also, anyone near San Antonio Tx? See ya soon with the future me. 💜
      · 3 replies
      1. Phil Penn

        Good Luck this procedure is well worth it I am down to 249.6 lb please continue with the process..

      2. Selina333

        I'm in Houston so kind of near you and had the sleeve in Dec. Down 61 lbs. Feeling better. Was definitely worth it. I hope the everything is going well for you. Update us when you can!

      3. Doughgurl

        I am back home after my bypass surgery in Tiajuana. I'm post op day 4. Everything went great! I guess I'm one of the lucky ones who have not encountered much pain at all, no nausea thus far and I'm having no problem keeping down broths and water. Thank you for your well wishes. I cant wait to keep up this journey and have a chance at better health and simply better quality of life. I know there will be bumps in the road ahead, and everything won't be peaches and cream, but at least I have a great start so far. 😍

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×