Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Any1 having surgery hubby deployed?



Recommended Posts

I'm scheduled for surgery on 6 May 2013. My husband is deployed to Afghanistan until October. He knows I was in process to get surgery but I haven't told him I have a date because I want it to be a surprise. Any Military wives out there having surgery while hubby is deployed?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No, however, my husband is on a work assignment for 10 months. He left nearly 3 months ago just when I was at the beginning of all of this.

I couldn't distract him from work with making life about "me" so there was minimal talk between he & I about my surgery. I was SHOCKED when my date was scheduled and I contemplated not telling him. I didn't tell him for a few weeks actually, but then I did tell him. He was very upset (did he think I wasn't going to go through with it?) And aside from what may have been his own reasons, I am POSITIVE that he was upset because he was scared for me and knew he could not be here when I had surgery.

I am 1 wk post op. I skyped with him when I was in recovery but never even remembered. The next day we skyped, he was rude to me.

I won't be able to see him for a bit, but am hoping to make a trip to see him when I am somewhat recovered.

I hope he is surprised but to be honest, I really don't care - my surgery was about ME (sorry to sound a little rude).

I don't think it would have been right to have surgery without his knowledge. As it was, I carry copies of legal docs on me in case I died or something happened, and although I would have been dead, I would never have been able to forgive myself for not telling him despite his non-support.

I know this is not same as you, but

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No' date=' however, my husband is on a work assignment for 10 months. He left nearly 3 months ago just when I was at the beginning of all of this.

I couldn't distract him from work with making life about "me" so there was minimal talk between he & I about my surgery. I was SHOCKED when my date was scheduled and I contemplated not telling him. I didn't tell him for a few weeks actually, but then I did tell him. He was very upset (did he think I wasn't going to go through with it?) And aside from what may have been his own reasons, I am POSITIVE that he was upset because he was scared for me and knew he could not be here when I had surgery.

I am 1 wk post op. I skyped with him when I was in recovery but never even remembered. The next day we skyped, he was rude to me.

I won't be able to see him for a bit, but am hoping to make a trip to see him when I am somewhat recovered.

I hope he is surprised but to be honest, I really don't care - my surgery was about ME (sorry to sound a little rude).

I don't think it would have been right to have surgery without his knowledge. As it was, I carry copies of legal docs on me in case I died or something happened, and although I would have been dead, I would never have been able to forgive myself for not telling him despite his non-support.

I know this is not same as you, but[/quote']

Thanks so much for sharing! You don't sound rude at all, it is about you. Perhaps your hubby is concerned that once you lose a lot of weight, things may change between u all? Idk, sometimes I think my husband likes me overweight. He never once complained about my size and I am 80 lbs heavier than when we married. I am going to tell him that I have a date. It's just that everytime I talk about it, he acts as if its his first time hearing about it and he asks the same questions he's asked before. Then out of concern, he's gonna call his mom to have her come help me out and that's a no go! Anyway, thanks for putting things in perspective , especially the part about if something happened and you didn't tell him. I wish you the best!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am not in the same situation as you but just wanted to say that I have gained about 90 lbs since hubby and I have been together and he never said a word about my weight. I don't think that he "likes" me fat....I think that he just lovea me despite that...lol. He probably never said anything because he didn't want to be hurtful...I'm sure he noticed my weight gain. Lol

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey! My husband is not currently deployed, but he leaves just a few short weeks after surgery, so he, like your hubbs, is going to come home to an all new wife!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey! My husband is not currently deployed' date=' but he leaves just a few short weeks after surgery, so he, like your hubbs, is going to come home to an all new wife![/quote']

I know. It's exciting!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi be very careful. Ensure that u have support n help bc the recovery can be quite tough... I couldn't have made it without my hubby... good luck...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi be very careful. Ensure that u have support n help bc the recovery can be quite tough... I couldn't have made it without my hubby... good luck...

Me either! My hubby was a Godsend this week! Better than I thought he could be!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×