I have only told a hand full of people about my surgery. Honestly is because I'm ashamed I let my self get this big, and ashamed I can't loose the weight by my self. My husband knows of course, my parents and in-laws, my boss and partner at work, and two friends. I have no idea what I'm gonna tell people when I start loosing weight. How am I going to explain the pictures of me to my son when he gets older?

Anyway did you tell everyone? If not who did you tell?

I don't care who knows. I am proud of my decision and I am not going to hide it and feel guilty like hiding your kid came home with lice

I may be different from a lot of people. But I told all my coworkers who I am friendly with. Aside from my boyfriend and his parents I have no one from my immediate family within 900 miles. I know I am responsible for my own journey and weight loss, but I told them to smack me if I am doing something wrong. Granted, being incrediably afraid of dumping syndrom I have been perfect so far. But my friend at work (cwissenb on here) had her surgery 2 weeks prior to mine. She didn't tell anyone because she was ashamed of becoming overweight. She is a beautiful woman, but she got heavy after having kids and wasn't happy with herself. Where I have been overweight since I was child. Its different for everyone hon.

Thank you for posting this because i am just getting started in the process and am wondering who to tell. Right now its just my husband and a friend who went with me to my consultation bc she is considering it as well. I am afraid to tell my mom even tho i tell her everyhing and im not sure why. My dad had wls almost 3 yrs ago now so i think i will tell him first since he will truly understand better. I have medical complications that are part of my reasoning and if anyone from work asks or what not, im just going to tell them i had the surgery to help improve my health. The truth but without going into too much detail. Good luck!

My husband knows -- but doesnt really understand ( after telling maybe 10 times that i will be away from home at least 4 days if not a week.. Yesterday he asked if i can come home on thursday - a day after the op!! ) i live an hour and a half from any hospital and 3 from where im having the op! I should have sms him it!!!. Apart from half a husband 3 friends know and that it. I can not decide if or what to tell my kids (12' date=' 9, 5). I have no family living here (im english but ilive in israel) so theres no need for them to know/worry[/quote']

I have kind of the same situation! I've been telling hubby what to expect and he actually said, "you're ot staying overnight are you?". I couldn't believe it! Now that I'm in here he seems to be getting it. I'm American but live in England o it's kind of like you. Why tell people who aren't going to see me anyways? My kids are 14,13,7. I told the older two, but the youngest I just said I had to go away or a couple days. My husband told him I have to go to the doctors. I guess so that when I got home he would understand more that he couldn't climb on me. I'm just hoping I start feeling normal soon! I can't stand feeling like this. My husband deploys soon so I'm gonna need to get back in the game.

I'm per-op should have my RNY in Nov. I'm a single mother of two ages 12,13. My mother lives near us, but I have not told her that I am getting it done. I mentioned to her months ago that I wanted to have it done and she started talking about all the reasons why I should have it. So, that was it, I have said another word about it since. My boy friend doesn't know, he will find out when he picks me up from the hospital after sergery. I don't plan on telling anyone, I prefer not to if I can't count on theire support. My mom will be keeping my children for those days when I go in the hospital. I'm hoping it's over the weekend so i'm not asked too many questions about where I will be. Over the weekend I can get away, but with during the week I might have to fake a Confrance. Lol we will see.

I'm per-op should have my RNY in Nov. I'm a single mother of two ages 12' date='13. My mother lives near us, but I have not told her that I am getting it done. I mentioned to her months ago that I wanted to have it done and she started talking about all the reasons why I should have it. So, that was it, I have said another word about it since. My boy friend doesn't know, he will find out when he picks me up from the hospital after sergery. I don't plan on telling anyone, I prefer not to if I can't count on theire support. My mom will be keeping my children for those days when I go in the hospital. I'm hoping it's over the weekend so i'm not asked too many questions about where I will be. Over the weekend I can get away, but with during the week I might have to fake a Confrance. Lol we will see.[/quote']

That's so sad you have to go that route, but I really hope afterwords everything works out or you and they will accept! Even if they don't, at least you will be healthier

I was telling the world but after 2 months after surgery. I stop talking Lolz.. When people say I look good I say thankyou or have you list wright I say yes. I don't feel like talking about surgery anymore. It's a life change I'm proud about but no one else needs to know. I think a million people know already. Face book this group my family. A few friends a few strangers.

I tell everyone. My progress is on my fb and I have many supporters. I'm not ashamed, this is not an easy way out, it's hard! It's hard to come to terms knowing you have no other choice. I'm happy with mine!

I tell everyone. My progress is on my fb and I have many supporters. I'm not ashamed' date=' this is not an easy way out, it's hard! It's hard to come to terms knowing you have no other choice. I'm happy with mine![/quote']

I agree 100% if I diet and exercise I do not get results. I did my 6 month diet and classes. I tracked everything I put in my mouth stayed under 1600 more like 1400 and exercised 3 times a week. I lost 10 pounds. I am proud I was able to lose that on my own but I need to have better results. With RNY you still need to watch what your putting in your mouth and exercise. So it's not the easy way out at all. Not only do you have the difficulty of surgery and the first few weeks but your even more restricted of what you can eat than a traditional diet. This diet is for life too. So I'm not ashamed and I tell everyone it's the hard way out. I'm proud either way.

I agree 100% if I diet and exercise I do not get results. I did my 6 month diet and classes. I tracked everything I put in my mouth stayed under 1600 more like 1400 and exercised 3 times a week. I lost 10 pounds. I am proud I was able to lose that on my own but I need to have better results. With RNY you still need to watch what your putting in your mouth and exercise. So it's not the easy way out at all. Not only do you have the difficulty of surgery and the first few weeks but your even more restricted of what you can eat than a traditional diet. This diet is for life too. So I'm not ashamed and I tell everyone it's the hard way out. I'm proud either way.

I just feel like, we know that, but other people don't...plus it's none of their business.

This is all very helpful info! I too have told a handful of people. Some approve and are supportive and some are very negative. I am having a hard time with the negative nellies. One I thought of as a friend and she told me to really think this surgery over because anyone she has met that's had the surgery had mentally changed for the worse!?

My sister had this surgery done and the only changes I've seen are positive. She feels and looks great with more confidence.

I'm done with 6 month diet and now just waiting for insurance approval. But I am wishing I wouldn't have told anyone my plans, hate the negative talk.

This is all very helpful info! I too have told a handful of people. Some approve and are supportive and some are very negative. I am having a hard time with the negative nellies. One I thought of as a friend and she told me to really think this surgery over because anyone she has met that's had the surgery had mentally changed for the worse!?

My sister had this surgery done and the only changes I've seen are positive. She feels and looks great with more confidence.

I'm done with 6 month diet and now just waiting for insurance approval. But I am wishing I wouldn't have told anyone my plans, hate the negative talk.

I totally understand how you feel, I know two people who have had it done and one didn't tell me but, I know that she had it. I don't mind that she didn't tell me, I actually understand because I haven't told anyone.

I never kept mine a secret. I just figured people would figure it out so why hide it. People are going to talk one way or the other so I just got out in front if it. The kids I work with we're amazing and supportive. I made this decision for me and any one who didn't like it can kiss my much SMALLER butt.

Some approve and are supportive and some are very negative. I am having a hard time with the negative nellies.

There are folks who choose to live their entire lives seeing every glass as half empty. I choose to see every glass as half full. When all is said and done, no one can control my destiny but me. I don't have a hard time with negative nellies at all. They make their choice, I make mine. Nuff said.

One I thought of as a friend and she told me to really think this surgery over because anyone she has met that's had the surgery had mentally changed for the worse!?

There are more than 20,000 folks on this forum. Post if you've "mentally changed for the worse"! I'll go first - ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!

My sister had this surgery done and the only changes I've seen are positive. She feels and looks great with more confidence.

There are more than 20,000 folks on this forum. Post if you "look and feel great with more confidence"! I'll go first - I LOOK AND FEEL GREAT AND AM ENJOYING EVERY DELICIOUS MOMENT OF MY NEW LIFE!

But I am wishing I wouldn't have told anyone my plans, hate the negative talk.

What are you going to tell them when you lose a zillion pounds in a few short months and are looking and feeling terrific? Diet and exercise? Lol. Hating the negative talk is a waste of your energy. Perhaps focusing that same energy on loving the life changing decision that you've made would be a better choice? You're gonna love the new you!!

Thanks Dave!! You are a very positive person! I truley am excited for a new me! Regardless of how much weight and how someone loses weight SOMEONE is going to be jealous and make a negative comment. BUT.. that SOMEONE will be one out of the other 100's of people with positive comments. So I am ok with that! I am super excited and anxious!

I have to make changes to ME and worry about ME.. and that is my plan! Thanks for all your positive comments.