Ok, so I'm curious if anyone else is keeping their surgery somewhat of a secret? A very small amount of friends know about my surgery. I didn't want to hear their negative/uneducated thoughts.. So I've kept it to myself and reached out to support groups. Plus, I didn't want people constantly asking me who much I've lost and what can I eat/when. Too many repetitive questions that I don't want to answer over and over again...

Ok' date=' so I'm curious if anyone else is keeping their surgery somewhat of a secret? A very small amount of friends know about my surgery. I didn't want to hear their negative/uneducated thoughts.. So I've kept it to myself and reached out to support groups. Plus, I didn't want people constantly asking me who much I've lost and what can I eat/when. Too many repetitive questions that I don't want to answer over and over again...[/quote']

I also am doin the same. The only people to know of mine are the important people on which I felt needed to know. Also I will need their help after surgery. It's in all honesty no ones business. My grandmother is one person that knows and my cousin asked me the other day of I was in the process for surgery I totally freaked because I made it clear I wanted NO ONE to know. It is very personal to me.

I don't like keeping secrets because I am not ashamed of my decision. At first I romantisized keeping this whole thing a secret, even from my mother but then I thought against it because if anything happened while I was having surgery it wouldnt be fair to her that she at least didnt know. I struggled with that for a while.

But I strive to live a transparent life and in that transparancy there may be oppurtunities to touch other people's lives with my story. I already have, twice (that I know of) and at the end of the day... people greivances about my decisions have nothing to do with me. So I do my best not to concern myself with them. It makes for a much happier me.

I agree with you whole-heartedly! At first I wasn't gonna tell anyone either thinking I would just pretend I lost all this weight on my own but I have so many friends/acquaintances that struggle with their weight I ended up telling most of them what I was doing and why. I found most people very supportive and I know several are thinking of doing the same. I realized I just need to be me....and anyone who doesn't like it that's their problem! I feel better knowing I don't have to hide it from my family and friends and I can be honest about my struggles and my journey. By the way.... My surgery was 9/10/13 as well.... So far so good!

I work in a hospital and I am gifted woth total honesty...which meant that everyone who asked why I was going on medical leave' date=' got the truth. My coworkers, friends, and family all know about this. Surprisingly I got a lot of positive feedback and some advice from many who have done it and some who have known someone close to them who did it. So I am glad that I was able to tell them![/quote']

I also have been very open with my surgery and so far have received only support and caring from everyone. I wanted to be open cuz I did a lot of secret eating in my past and want to be held accountable

Not keeping it a secret. Initially, I started off that way, but after the battle for my life that I've been through and realizing how short it truly is...I choose to speak it out loud. My family knows, my friends know and now, even my boss, colleagues and employees know that I'm preparing for surgery.

With regards to my past health history, I really don't want people to assume or get the wrong impression about any future weight loss either. I'd rather they know, I've had WLS as opossed to thinking, my cancer has returned and I'm dying. Plus there are plenty people around me that may opt to take their "weight issues" in hand, once they see how it turns out for me.

But such is life...to each his own.

Oh and to add, I even tell all the techinicians at the different locations where I've had my many tests.

The EKG lady was supportive of it..when I told her back in August.

Yesterday, the MRI tech asked why I was getting the test and I said Pre-op for the gastric sleeve and she said cool. I had it done Jan 2012 and lost 117lbs.

Today, the Echocardiogram tech was a whooping size 0, also asked about the reasoning behind my test and I told her, pre-op for the sleeve and she said..well good for you!

Truth is..I haven't encountered any negativity yet..but I'm sure it will rear its head eventually.

I am definitely a secret sleever. However, I'm not fond of the assumption that keeping it a secret means I'm "ashamed" or not "honest." For me, my mom, hubby and one nephew know (because they all live under my roof). My best friend knows, because she's my best friend...no big circle of friend. I have one best friend and she had bypass herself. I've also told my boss. I don't work in an office, I work for an individual and have for 13 years. We're close, she's understanding of my struggles and she would LOVE to cook for me afterwards!

However, I have 4 siblings and 5 other nephews, cousins and so forth, whom I feel don't deserve to know. They have all been consumed with their own lives and they have no idea what I've done on my own and how hard I've worked in the past. I have no desire for them to run their mouths to others who have no part in my life so that they have something else to distract them from their own woes. As it is, we see each other on holidays. So, for me, I don't feel they deserve to know. I've had stomach issues for a year and probably have a hiatal hernia and that's what they'll know.

I told family and close friends pre-op. Post-op I will tell anyone who asks how I am losing so much weight that I had WLS. I do understand and respect others who wish to keep this private though.

I told only my husband and two grown sons, who are all supportive. No other family or friends, and I would do it again that way. I told my sister (who lives several states away) that I'm on Weight Watchers. By the time she sees me next year or so, it won't matter how I lost it, and I don't plan to enlighten her. As for the surgery and time off, I have other real intestinal issues that I mention and leave my actual procedure very vague. Works for me. No drama, no explanations, no embarrassment.

I am in the same boat as endless80. I have been very open about my decision to pursue the surgery. I have also been very lucky that I have not encountered much of any negative opinions. Sure there are questions, but I really don't mind answering them. And of course some will be concerned. Not for the fact I chose weight loss surgery, but because it is a MAJOR surgery! Once I am done and healed and living my life those concerns will pass. I know two people following my journey who are either wanting the surgery or working towards it, so I know my choice has made a difference in their lives. I think overall people know of my struggles and understand this will help me and is not a "bad" thing. But to be fair, I also realize their are a lot of people in the world who would judge and be negative about it. While it is totally NOT their business, nor is it right that they want us to lose weight yet criticize how we do it, they still exist. So I get that it is a personal decision whether you share your story or not.

I think for me the judgement I feel for the most part is internal. Also, I won't wolerate anyone degrading my progress by attributing any successes I have soley to the sleeve. As if I sat around passively waiting to lose weight rather than playing an active roll, along with my sleeve, to weight loss and better health. This is an act of sabbatoge and the second I see it I nip it in the bud.

Before I had surgery I only told my husband, kids, boss & supervisor. I figured when people at work asked then I would tell them. Well, came back from 3 weeks off that was supposed to only be one but only one person asked why I was gone longer. I work in a small office of only women so its been kind of surprising that hardly anyone has commented on my 52 lbs of loss or asked how I am doing it. I thought it would just come up in conversation because we do talk about food, nutrition, diets and such but it only has come up that way once. The only co-worker that said "you've lost a lot of weight, what are you doing differently" was the only one that I don't want knowing my personal business. I feel kind of bad that I only told her I have been on a strict diet and I'm walking a lot but didn't tell her about the surgery. She will probably hear it from someone eventually and wonder why I didn't tell her but- oh well. I guess everyone accepts that I am a private person or else they just don't notice.

I am being very open about my surgery. I do respect peoples wishes to keep it private.

I have encountered very little negativity so fat but any I do encounter will help motivate me to become healthier!!!

I am doing this for my health, if you are supportive if my choice, thank you. If you are not, thats cool too. I am not doing this for what anyone else thinks of me, but how I feel about myself, my health and my future life.

I am in the same boat as endless80. I have been very open about my decision to pursue the surgery. I have also been very lucky that I have not encountered much of any negative opinions. Sure there are questions' date=' but I really don't mind answering them. And of course some will be concerned. Not for the fact I chose weight loss surgery, but because it is a MAJOR surgery! Once I am done and healed and living my life those concerns will pass. I know two people following my journey who are either wanting the surgery or working towards it, so I know my choice has made a difference in their lives. I think overall people know of my struggles and understand this will help me and is not a "bad" thing. But to be fair, I also realize their are a lot of people in the world who would judge and be negative about it. While it is totally NOT their business, nor is it right that they want us to lose weight yet criticize how we do it, they still exist. So I get that it is a personal decision whether you share your story or not.[/quote']

I could have written this response. Ditto! Folks have been more supportive than I could have ever imagined. Only my mother-in-law was Negative Nancy, but she's a chicken **** scaredy cat who's afraid of everything from dogs to lizards to thunder. Major, elective surgery is definitely outside of her comfort zone!

Well I have to tell you all. I had the Band surgery and told some people. My Family and few friends. I had stares at parties, "what is she eating?" Why is she not losing more weight? Why are you doing this to yourself? Can't you do it the NATURAL WAY, said a person who is 117lbs. So on Oct 9th i'm having my Band taken out. Than the first week in Jan I will have the Sleeve done. The only people who know are my husband and my 3 children. I'm not ashamed at all... I just do not want the questions, and people who can't mind their own business in my face.

JewelJ

I have always been a very private person. My surgery plans will on be disclosed to two people... my boss and HR rep. My boss had RNY last year and has been very successful.

I am not telling anyone other than the ones I've told so far: my parents, my sibling, and very few close friends (who did not react very well and made me feel bad about it, talking about "you can do this yourself, just try harder, and eat better")... I plan to keep it a secret from everyone else, for all the reasons you guys have previously mentioned as well... However, I have to see many people in that same week after surgery because of a big get together and conference happening in that same week and I'm struggling to find an excuse as to why I may be so tired, why I won't be eating, why I'm either in pain or under pain meds... I know it's going to be hard to hide because all this happens throughout the whole week after my surgery... Ugh... I feel that I don't owe people any explanations, but I don't want to seem like I'm acting weird, or I seem weird and everyone be suspicious and asking what is going on with me... I know this may seem ridiculous lol but I was even thinking of saying if people insisted, that I had some other medical problem lol, (because this thing is starting while I'm still at the hospital) but I don't know what to say. I know that most of them would see it as "I've completely failed", and I don't feel they know my struggle enough to talk about this... and I don't want that kind of tag on my forehead.. :-/