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How to educate my teen about my surgery



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I'm starting this journey with my psych, nutritionist, etc. later this month. I am struggling with how to educate my almost 13 year old daughter about why I am doing this. She also is extremely overweight (approx. 210) so I feel a bit guilty that I'm taking on this without her. Any ideas on how I can best educate her about what I'm doing so that she's not scared? She doesn't feel that she has a weight issue, but she does (probably tanks to me!)

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My son was 13 when I told him, 14 when I had surgery. I was very open and honest with him. I explained why I was doing it, what the surgery consisted of and what to expect after. His big concern was me stealing his clothes. He would periodically ask me other questions as I went along, like will you come home skinny.... I wish. He struggled when I was in the hospital but was happy to visit me and happier to have me home.

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The Kaiser Fremont (my program) guidebook includes chapters on the surgery and the benefits of WLS in general. Read through the book for good discussion points (why it's important to have the surgery, what changes with the surgery, what you will do to get ready, what happens in the hospital, what recovery will look like). You might want to print some pages.

http://mydoctor.kaiserpermanente.org/ncal/facilities/region/gsaa/area_master/departments/Bariatrics/binder.jsp

Lynda

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I simply told my girls (13 and 15), that as they knew, I had struggled with my weight and dieting for a long time and that I had decided to have surgery so that I could get to a healthy weight. I allowed them to watch the EMMI videos my doctor sent and gave them the link to the Youtube video (one did, one gagged at the thought) if they wanted to see it. I also told them they could come to the doctor and ask any questions they wanted (declined).

They were excited for me because they knew I was excited about it. Both of them are very healthy but very weight conscious which I know is totally my fault with all the diet kicks I've gone on.

Both are thrilled with our new menu and thrilled with all the time we've been spending together exercising lately. Today was a gorgeous day so we went to a middle school, jogged (I did 1/2 mile!!) and then walked, we did a p90x video together, and then took the pup up to the high school and ran the football field with her. It was fun and exhausting! We are all getting stronger and healthier together while spending quality time with each other.

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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