Depression Because I Have a History of Depression and Addiction

[ArnoldS 46]

It seemed so complicated when I went to the nut lady for one of my pre-op appts.

Well, first I went to the RD that day b/f the nut lady. She seemed to treat me like a bad little kid b/c I hadn't lost any weight. She didn't understand that the "class" that I was suppose to attend b/f I saw her, was rescheduled for me (at their request and for their convenience) to a week after I see her. Therefore, I did not receive my instructions as to how I should be eating up to the point that I saw the RD.

So, the RD got out the eating plan and took me through it. I'm on day 5 today and have already lost 5 lbs. according to my scale here at home.

(Also, I have not smoked since seeing the smoking lady 7 days ago.)

My second appt. that day was w the nut lady. She asked me a bunch of questions, which I answered. Mostly about my past psych and addiction history. She didn't seem to be too happy w me. Finally, she gave me two release of info forms to sign. One for my present psychiatrist, who is my monthly med visit, and one for my therepist, who I see every two or three weeks for talking.

After I left the hospital, I had the feeling that if anything is going to mess this journey up for me, it will be psych. I immediately called my tharepist. I told her that the nut lady said that all the tharepist has to do is write one or two sentences saying that I "am psychologically ready for the surgery." To my surprise, her response was, "I don't think you are ready." I couldn't believe it! Who is she to say that??? She's on a diet. From our talks, she has no understanding of the different surgeries. She still believes that dieting alone will take care of everything. How does she even think she can evaluate me on something she knows absolutely nothing about??? I was steaming. I said to her, "Do whatever you want." I started to hang up and she said, "No, wait, wait. I'll do it." I just said, "Whatever," and hung up. I haven't see her yet to deal w this further.

I am angry. Angry at all involved. Angry that I ever got on the record as having had these conditions. So, angry at myself. I am afraid. Afraid that I will have to go through life w this constant struggle just to lose a little bit of weight. Afraid that these health conditions will never be resolved.

Now, I question myself. Am I a fool for even attempting this route? The doubts are creeping in.

Thank you for reading this and any response is appreciated, whatever it may be.

[Pookeyism 1,143]

Just a suggestion, maybe you should ask her why she thinks that, and then persue those topics with her or another therapist. This is a really long road, forever really, and it evolves but the effort will never go away. You will always have to monitor your foods and be aware of how you are eating. this surgery is basically just a tool you will have to use everyday.

Not trying to be down!!! Just saying knowledge and awareness is a powerful thing in all this - anything you can do to help yourself counts.

[TwinsMama 483]

Don't ever feel bad that you are getting help. What you're doing by having a therapist many of us should have done long BEFORE having surgery. So count yourself wise to already have help for yourself.

I agree with Pookey, it would be helpful for her to tell you why she feels this. Maybe she worries about transfer additions (which are very real for WLS post-ops). Maybe she just thinks you're progressing fine and is worried about another distraction during your process. Only she can tell you.

Hang in there and go into this with your eyes open. Hear her out and then discuss what you need to get you ready. If you find she is not being helpful with this, you can always consult another therapist.