I need to get this out of my system.....

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Try being friends with some men, then see if emotion can become physical attraction. Obviuosly it hasn't worked out too well the opposite way.

[Wheetsin 714]

Im attracted to the kind of guy that likes to play the field...the jerk type (doesnt treat me badly, but has a big ego you know?) I like the muscular type that think that they are all that.

Maybe if instead of the "ego" type, or the "muscular" type, you focused on the "smart" type, or "ambitious" type, or maybe even "gentle" type or "caring"... you'd find someone who could give you the settling you're wanting. There's a lot more depth to be found than "doesn't treat me badly" (which is NOT the same as "treats me good") and "muscular". :myscared:

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Maybe if instead of the "ego" type, or the "muscular" type, you focused on the "smart" type, or "ambitious" type, or maybe even "gentle" type or "caring"... you'd find someone who could give you the settling you're wanting. There's a lot more depth to be found than "doesn't treat me badly" (which is NOT the same as "treats me good") and "muscular". :myscared:

One of the ideas we discussed in "Codependents Anonymous" was the need to avoid choices which keeps a person on a roller coaster ride. The choice of who to be attracted to is difficult to change, but after a while, when the pain becomes strong enough to want to be relieved rather than to seek that impossible bad person to fix, it becomes apparent to most people that fixing yourself is more important than trying to fix the world.

I have known many women who could never understand why they kept getting hurt over and over, and when I suggested it was their choices of male companionship, veritable clones, they made excuses.

A male coworker of mine after three hostile divorces, told me about the new woman he had met the night before after work. He told me about all her good points and asked me what I thought. "Terrible choice" I said. "She sounds just like your last three wives." He couldn't understand why all his women were so flawed (and so similar according to me). Maybe it is because you met each of them in a bar at 2 am?

Insanity is sometimes defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. Sorry!! If you want a happy life Jodie, you must change your ways.

[Betsyjane 2]

OK. I promise no more haranguing about counseling. You could sell a car and a purse and get it if it were at the top of your list of priorities.

Good luck finding a job! I hope it's everything you need it to be.

[j_war06 0]

Im not authorized to sell either car, they arent in my name....Purses decrease in value, and therefore arent worth what was paid for them........enough of that...

NO, Im not gonna date someone I met in a bar....thats just rule #1. I like my boy to be good guy, but I like one that likes to look good...I dont want a guy that doesnt care about his body. I want to feel the strength and muscles when I lie on their chest....that is just my thing...he doesnt have to look like a body builder or anything, but nice definition is great. I guess time will tell, and until then I will let myself have fun, but not too much fun...my ex-boyfriend is nothing like my guys I have now, and they really are not very similar either.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Im not authorized to sell either car, they arent in my name....Purses decrease in value, and therefore arent worth what was paid for them........enough of that...

NO, Im not gonna date someone I met in a bar....thats just rule #1. I like my boy to be good guy, but I like one that likes to look good...I dont want a guy that doesnt care about his body. I want to feel the strength and muscles when I lie on their chest....that is just my thing...he doesnt have to look like a body builder or anything, but nice definition is great. I guess time will tell, and until then I will let myself have fun, but not too much fun...my ex-boyfriend is nothing like my guys I have now, and they really are not very similar either.

Carlo Ponti just died a few weeks. Who is Carlo Ponti? An old balding fat man. Why is he in the news? Because he married Sophia Loren, one of the most beautiful actresses in the world, in the 1950's.

While Hollywood hunks marry Hollywood hunks constantly in "Tinsel Town" with marriages that have an average life span of a year or two, this couple stayed together for 2.5 times your life-time.

Physical attraction may be a hindrance to your happiness.

[lisalee 0]

BJean: Sorry, it was another person....I just read back a few pages. I'll work on applying mistaken identity on another website :myscared:

[BJean 16]

Lisa: No problem!

Jodi: Everytime I thought I needed a guy and wondered where he was, I couldn't find him. When I'd get busy and forget about it for a while, one would show up, just when I least expected it!

[Betsyjane 2]

Cars are expensive to maintain. Purses are still worth something. If you ever prioritize it, I have faith in you that you'll do it.

We tend to be attracted to, and marry, people who at our own level of emotional maturity. The better you get, the better the guys you get attracted to. The relationship payoff comes from working on you.

but ya know, when I was in college, I was attracted to a guy that I could never imagine seeing myself with now. Just glad I waited until later to get hitched.

[Carlene 12]

We tend to be attracted to, and marry, people who at our own level of emotional maturity. The better you get, the better the guys you get attracted to. The relationship payoff comes from working on you.

This is SO true. Fortunately, I went thru my "bad boy" phase very early - around age 15. Those guys are HOT when they are young but middle-age rebels just have nothing to recommend them. They don't often make good husbands/fathers; they're very self-centered, and they tend to have career problems, resulting from a short temper and a bad attitude.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

(M)iddle-age rebels just have nothing to recommend them. They don't often make good husbands/fathers; they're very self-centered, and they tend to have career problems, resulting from a short temper and a bad attitude.

I resent that.

[Carlene 12]

I resent that.

Hey, I've got your number. I married one of your co-workers....the place is a magnet for "bad boy" types.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Hey, I've got your number. I married one of your co-workers....the place is a magnet for "bad boy" types.

But I was "the easy going type".

Well, at least near the end of my 35 years, I was. I was "Hell on Wheels" at the beginning, but nothing sobers a man up than working on planes that crash right after you work on them. It happened to me 3 times, and though nothing I did was related to the crashes, the FAA breathing down your neck, takes a lot of the playful spirit out of you.

Tina says that she is lucky. I kept my good traits and changed most of my bad traits. Of course I still talk too much, but...

[Carlene 12]

Tina says that she is lucky. I kept my good traits and changed most of my bad traits.

My DH, too. But some of the guys he worked with are still hangin' onto that "rebel without a cause" thing. Actually, I think they are more rebels-without-a-clue.

[BJean 16]

Is it just me or do there seem to be more and more rebels coming out of the woodwork these days? Many middle aged and older men are buying Harleys and scooting out to Sturgis and Daytona every year. Sometimes I think it's actually the pressure from work that makes them want to be rebels on their off time! Maybe they were the ones who weren't rebels when they were teens and they just want a chance to be wild boys before they die.