Treated differently?

[BlazinAshes 39]

Hi everyone! Im pre-op and I was talking to my coworker today about attention. She thinks people will probably act differently towards me after I lose weight. This prompted me to ask the question here:

Has anyone noticed that they are treated differently vs before surgery when you were heavier? If so, how?

I thought this was interesting and wanted to hear ppls input. Please share!

[lnelson796 117]

Yes, I have noticed instances where I have been treated differently. I think it's a two pronged issue. One is that as I lose weight and become more 'normal' looking I think people are more comfortable talking to me and people working in service industries are generally more helpful. The second prong is that I am more confident in myself and am probably projecting a more approachable attitude.

[Cindy Martin 77]

same here as Inelson796

[LiggleLiggle 84]

Ditto!

[notmeanymore 629]

Absolutely! I get treated much different now. Doors are held open, salespeople are willing to help, people will stop to let me cross the street, people offer me help, etc. Someone pointed out that pre-surgery I wanted to be invisible and now that Im 87 pounds lighter, I dont mind being seen so that might have something to do with it but regardless, I get treated much differently now.

[ashelaine 383]

Very much so. I don't think (or at least I didn't think) I was ever treated poorly. However people are so nice to me now! It's crazy! My husband jokes I must have "please tell me your life story" tattooed on my forehead! I also have people give me random things free or just generally being nice.

[lisa2job 130]

The only thing I notice is in my dating life alot more men hit on me now than before. and they seem to be more interested in dating me seriously than they were before when I dated. I even had men actually not recognize me and hit me up on line after meeting before when I was heavier. I feel I look the same untill I see side by side pictures but random shots In my mind I look the same.

[melody2 61]

Oh my gosh, yes! It doesn't make sense, but being larger makes you almost invisible to people. I've only lost 40 lbs and yet people are now holding doors open for me, smiling, etc. And yet, I wonder if I'm more approachable because my confidence is returning and I make eye contact, smile, etc. Interesting question. Thank you for the post.

[BlazinAshes 39]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I found it interesting bc I've heard ppl say they were treated differently bc of their weight. I have never felt I have, but that may also be bc I've never paid attention to it. I've always been overweight so I assume I wouldn't notice a difference.. I think lowest was 180 a couple years ago, but that felt shortly lived haha.

[newmeby50 23]

I concur with all of you. I've been a yoyo-er through out all my adult life and 51/2 yrs ago before marrying my hubby I lost 58 lbs & weighed in at 156. I'm 5'8 & I was wearing a size 10-pant. I've worked in the administrating aspect in the field of dentistry and have always had to dress in a more professional style and with that said, my point is I have looked my best at a heavier weight but there is a complete difference of how you're treated when you're at a desired weight! Door's of opportunity have opened that weren't there b/4, people tend to be more drawn to you in acceptance, I even had a patient that had gone out to lunch with me a couple of time (b/4 dating my husband) and he stopped by during our lunch break one day to make an appointment & when I came out and he couldn't believe how great I looked and stated "You were always pretty but WOW, you look gorgeous!" & with his arms open wide he pleaded with me to just go out with him just "1" time and he said he would convince me to change my mind in marrying my now husband. Of course the answer was no. It is true you are treated different but your attitude changes and yourself confidence will go up, you're happier & healthier and it does reflect in everything you do. I was taught early in life that if you make change in your life whether it be good or bad- It is going to effect those around you! It's sad that large people are seen differently but I have been on both sides of the fence & I can say that there's truth to this!

[Jen35 283]

Yes, I have noticed instances where I have been treated differently. I think it's a two pronged issue. One is that as I lose weight and become more 'normal' looking I think people are more comfortable talking to me and people working in service industries are generally more helpful. The second prong is that I am more confident in myself and am probably projecting a more approachable attitude.

I'm down almost 50 lbs. and I can tell in the way I'm treated. The other day I went to Walmart and I swear 10 people talked to me. Employees, shoppers - I was baffled. My therapist thinks part of it is that I'm more confident and this makes me more approachable.

I've been married 16 years and have been heavy that whole time (over 200lbs for the last 7 years of it) so I'm not used to male attention. I don't remember what it was like to be hit on. This weekend at a bar, I'm walking back from the restroom and this guy is dancing. I'm walking past and he starts backing up on me trying to get me to dance with him (in a way I would never dance in public). I had no idea what to do! It was even worse because no one else was dancing - everyone can see this. I laughed it off and went back to our table. Not that he was exactly hitting on me, but it was male attention in that way. I didn't expect that and I guess I need to be more prepared for it now. I've just been invisible for so long, it's weird to be getting attention. I don't really like it - part of why I ate was to be invisible to the opposite sex so now I have to deal with my issues in other ways. Therapy is a must for me!

[blackie220 92]

This is funnny...I WORK IN GROCERY......HAD SURGERY MSY 17 40 lbs later....a coke vender..say to me...HAY MZ.THANG...LOL..NEVER SPOKE TO ME ONCE..BEFORE....I DO GET MORE LOOKS AND COMPLIMENTS....HELPS MY SELF ESTEEM.....MY HEAD HASNT CAUGHT UP YO MY WIEGHT LOSE