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losing friends

lmh011

By lmh011, in Rants & Raves

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lmh011    0

lmh011
Posted

It seems I have lost a bunch of friends since having surgery.... do you think it is related to it? I have not changed in personality just in appearance... and all the friends that I have lost or am losing are pretty and skinnier than me? Do you guys think it relates? and has this happened to you since the band?

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piercedqt78    658

piercedqt78
Posted

I don't want to sound rude, but maybe they were using your size to feel better about themselves? I had a friend that only hung around with fat girls, she always had to be the thinnest, prettiest, best dressed. When I started losing weight she drifted away. I bumped into her recently and she commented that I was much thinner than her. I invited her to lunch and she declined, saying she wasn't "fixed-up" enough. (we were at the post office) In reality I was well dressed and thinner than her. I didn't make her feel like she was the prettiest, or getting the most attention so she didn't want to go. It's sad that she needs to feel that way, but it's true, I'm not the only one to see it with her either. ~Mandy

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TracyV    0

TracyV
Posted

My sister, who has always been considered prettier and thinner than me has been acting strangely around me...complaining about being fat, not wanting to go out...I have always been bigger than her, but she has always been more insecure...and I think she is afraid I will look better than her, and she wont get all the attention anymore//(I have always been outgoing, but the "chubby" one)..whatever...its about me now...:clap2:

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lmh011    0

lmh011
Posted

yeah well i was thinking this too! They have always told me how pretty I was in the face... and they would halfheartedly support weight loss attempts and they were very suporting of the band suprisinglybut after i lost like 30 pounds they ran off

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Chickie    15

Chickie
Posted

I have has this happen. When I was at my highest weight I had a group of friends I was tight with. They were all far thinner than me, but not skinny.

They were thrilled for me when I started losing, sort of ho-hum when I got to their weight, and now that I am much thinner than they are, they only talk to me if they have to (although they were happy to pick through the clothes that no longer fit me)

I was their token "fat friend" and when I no longer fit that role, there was no place for me in that circle. I have since made a lot of new friends, and renewed old friendships. I believe some things are for the best.

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TracyV    0

TracyV
Posted

yeah, the token fat friend..always hated that label..I never HEARD anyone say it, but I am sure it WAS said..

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Go To Topic Listing Rants & Raves

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    • Alisa_S

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      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

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        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
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