Scared to Succeed

[laughingheels 3]

This may sound crazy but I'm scared to succeed. I want to be thin and healthy and toned. I know I need to exercise to achieve that. But all I can do is think about it. I can't actually make myself go to the gym and workout. I'm scared ill fail. I'm scared I will succeed. I'm scared to look good. Im so used to hiding under all this fat. It's been my comfortable place for so long. Now I'm 40 pounds down and getting lots of attention. Which I do want. I want to be thin and toned so bad. But I lack any motivation to start a workout program. Im also scared lifting weights will make the scale move up. Im scared of being sore. Of looking foolish in front of others. I'm scared ill become obsessed and bore people with talk of the gym and calories and all that (like my fiancé who became so obsessed with fitness we broke up over it) plus im so used to men being mean to me about my weight. I have a strong history of being not good enough because of my weight and taking in mean comments about it from boyfriends. maybe im just scarred. sigh I even bought new dresses in a smaller size and I'm scared to wear them because I'm scared someone will tell me I look foolish in it.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you find your motivation? Did you see good results once you started working out? Anything you could tell me would help! Thanks!!!

PS. I walk my dog for 60 mins a few times a week but my surgeon told me that is not exercise that is activity and I need more vigorous heart raising activity.

[joatsaint 2,814]

I know where you're coming from. Being fat is easy. It's something I'm used to. Change is scary! I actually got scared and caught myself thinking - "What if I can't eat as much after surgery?"

Then I had to roundhouse b*tch slap myself and say, "Dummy, this is WHY you're having the surgery."

Then I thought about how people would start noticing my weight loss and complimenting me. - I'm used to being invisible.

And then I thought about how I wouldn't have an excuse to stay out of social situations if I were thin.

And God Forbid! Girls might notice me! And on and on ...

I just said to myself "F it!" I'll take it as it comes and learn to deal with it.

[SueJH 205]

If you are anxious about going to a gym, buy some dumbbells and either an exercise DVD or look online for exercises to do. You don't necessarily need a lot of fancy equipment to get a good workout. They also have exercisers for upper and lower body that you hang over the back of a door and can change the resistance level. There are options! Do not give up, you can do it!!

[DeniseM 238]

I feel that way too about exercise- I have not exercised regularly in years, and I am in pitiful shape. However, my surgeon wants me to do intense exercise, so I found a very small gym (privately owned, not one of the big chains) where I know I can receive individual attention and tomorrow I am starting a boot camp class. I am scared because I know how bad it will suck (I did a BCC about three years ago for one month) and I know it will make me want to cry and probably throw up, but I know that I must do this. I know that the main contributor to me being overweight for the past 20 years has been a lack of exercise, I feel that I will never conquer my weight problem without exercise, and that I have to take full advantage of this first year after surgery when I will lose the most weight since I have a so much weight to lose. Working out at home has never worked for me- I have spent hundreds of dollars on equipment and DVD's that I never use. I chose this gym because I had to sign a contract that I will attend all the classes and gives my trainer permission to call me at work, at home, or on my cell if I do not show up. I think the combination of the personal attention and the accountability will be key to my success.

[pantala 125]

I freaking hate gyms for all the reasons you talk about. Even when I was younger and fit, I hated the lunkheads coming over and offering free advice. Planet Fitness has a better atmosphere for us but I still hate going, I way prefer riding my bike and going hiking or kayaking. I snow shoe in winter and have some workout DVDs I like. Fitness isn't just the gym!

[dmarroko 9]

It's just so much easier being invisible. Time to get rid of all your fears. As you shed the weight start to liberate yourself of fears. Fear will keep you from reaching your goal. A lot of time we sabotage ourselves for fear of the unknown. Talk to yourself. Get self help books. Go for counseling but don't let fear hold you back. Been there done that. It's so liberating to just let yourself go and enjoy each pound your body releases. Step into your future with confidence. There will be ays that you have setbacks but then you just dust yourself off and keep going. We will never be perfect. Just enjoy your sleeve and enjoy the ride while you step into a new era in your life.

[zenandnow 514]

You aren't the only one! I have/had all those fears too. But I'm slowly losing them. Reading what others say on this forum helps A LOT; also, tackling ONE fear at a time makes it easier. Pick one, and work on ways to get over it. Ask for advice here, read other posts, books, online. Then once you've conquered that, tackle the next one. Also, sometimes fears can be motivating, especially if you're already on your way to conquering them. For example, I was afraid of all the medical problems that come with obesity, even though I hadn't YET experienced most of them. I knew eventually I would, and that TERRIFIED me.

One of my big ones is the gym - I feel SO self conscious! But I found a trainer who has a very calming personality, and she rents space at a small private gym to train her clients. So there's usually no one else there when I go! There are lots of options besides this, you just have to persevere and find the one that works for you.

Don't be afraid to keep asking for help here - there are so many smart, caring people who have experienced what you have and who want to help. It's a great community!

[ProudGrammy 8,322]

need to exercise

laughingheels

WARNING WARNING -this reply is an example that i don't know how to make a short response to a post

first off , walking might be considered an "activity" by you doc ......

but it definitely is a good excercise that many, many people do!!!

i understand about being self-conscious going to the gym - maybe thinking everyone is looking at you

many people/me had that fear

but, really others are busy doing their workout and NOT staring at you!!!!

not totally knowing how to do/adjust weights, machines

i get it you might/do feel uncomfortable

its not a bad idea to practice at home with a couple of DVD's, weights, stretching bands you put on the door

being self-conscious is just another problem many of us, since we're overweight

slowly start at the gym doing simple things

you don't even have to stay long - just go for a 1/2 hour to familiarize yourself with the gymn - get more comfortable

if you'd rather not go to the gym at all,

park your car further away from stores et al

use stairs

DVD's - videos, weights et al at home

these are just a couple of common suggestions/options to help you

exercise is/can be important

many, many, many/most people exercise

but some people don't exercise much - (don't tell anyone that i said this to you )

you will/should lose the weight - but exercising is good for all

but..........if you are being held back by not wanting to exercise

don't let that be a factor of "possibly" failing with the sleeve

eat and drink properly

don't be afraid of success

maybe in your case thats easier said than done

just look at your weight loss for all the health benefits you will achieve

becoming thinner will be and added bonus - and hopefully you should/will come out of your shell - and continue to be the wonderful person you are now

just in better physical condition/and appearance

congrats on losing 40 lbs

take care

good luck

kathy