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Alright my fellow Singletons...Ya know that thing we all dread? Just happened to me....about an hour ago...Now I have only talked to this guy for two weeks or so (so it's not like heavy emotions were involved) and he made the comment that this one girl wouldn't leave him alone and when I asked what was wrong with her, he said it was that she was too big. Like 280 pounds....I asked him "Would you totally freak out if I told you I used to be that big?" and he said "No, "used to be" is used to be." I should have known this was too good to be true. Today, he saw some pictures of me when I was at my heaviest and he FREAKED OUT! He even told me "I'm freaking out, you were really large." and I told him "If you can't handle it, I understand, but you had better let me know becuase there are plenty of people that can handle it." well...we went back and forth and I was (admittedly) a little on the defensive... he asked me "How big are you now?" and I told him I was 208 lbs (77 lbs down in 4 months *woot* *woot*) and what my goal weight was and all this stuff but I just felt like he was patronizing me at this point. It was humiliating, and I have to tell you, it made me HOPPIN' MAD! I could chew ten-penny nails right now. I told him I was done with the conversation and he said "I think someone is being a little oversensetive." and I told him "well, I told you before that I had issues with this type of thing, so how do you think I should act?" and the HE said "I don't know, maybe I should just quit talking to you because I don't want to keep hurting your feelings." A real peach isn't he? I told him "No, don't you use my feelings as a scapegoat. If you can't handle how big I was, then you tell me the truth!" (like seriously...grow some balls) well he didn't say anything and I said "nevermind...whatever makes you feel better", and that was the end of it.

Listen, I am a very emotional person and I am totally a cryer. But even though my feelings were hurt, the biggest thing I feel is anger! I went back to my Facebook and almost deleted every fat picture of me I could find...but then I stopped...there are memories in those pictures, and even though I was very large, I still love myself...I love myself NOW and I love myself THEN too! That large person is a part of what made me who I am. I know it sounds silly, but to someone that really cares, it won't matter all that much!

This is just my little testimonial...Y'all, if I can survive that, ANYONE can! So if anything like this ever happens to you, DO NOT LET SOMEONE MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF!!

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Screw him!!! I'm so proud of you!!! Way to go for standing up for yourself! The road you travel its yours and yours alone, if you traveled it skinny/ fat or as a 3 legged people eater all those happy moments and all those hurts are yours.. and yours alone to OWN...I'm so glad you didn't delete your memories because some butt head couldn't get over HIS body issues and get to know the person in front of him today...

You just proved you are super strong!! :-) proud of you!

Leave him in the dust girl there are waaay better men out there!!!!

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He doesn't deserve you or one precious drop of Water from your eyes. Superficiality is not a trait that anyone needs in a long term relationship. Congratulations on a great weight loss over the months and a massive one today!

Thank you!! No, I have not shed a tear over this...if more emotions had been involved, then maybe...but at this point I just want him to be ashamed of himself!!!

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You go girl your are a beauty and congrats on the weight loss.

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It's amazing how many shallow guys are out there. It pisses me off thinking about it.

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Honestly... I need to congratulate you. You just dropped about 160+ pounds of complete ****** bag.

Now on to the more sensitive side of me:

I think it takes a lot of strength to look back on yourself and feel love and pride for the person that you were. The person that you are becoming is a much stronger woman than average. It will take a man with emotional strength to be worthy of you. Continue to count your blessings. You've had another one today.

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That guy is a jerk! Don't waste another moment thinking about him!

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You are a strong woman who is taking care of yourself. Thank you for being so honest. He doesn't deserve you.

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When I first started dating my husband I had just lost weight over the last year, was working out and looking pretty good. I wasn't at goal, never could make it that far. I was 200, and he knew I had worked hard. I knew he was a keeper when he said I'd still love you if you gained it back and more... it doesn't matter what you weight... I love you. My husband wears a size 29. I ended up gaining and worked hard to get down before the wedding, but was 230. Recently I was 287, but have lost a little. Hoping to have the surgery in October. He is supportive. What he said when we were dating means the world to me. I have went through a very stressful 2 years after our marriage. It isn't my husband, it is his kids and family and extreme circumstances. I think that is how I have gained to be my highest ever. During all the stress, I kept trying to diet and my hubby even said don't worry so much about it. Now he blames himself somewhat for me gaining, we eat out a lot, he loves to cook... I accept the blame, except what I can throw towards his kids and hateful family. I do not want any of them to know I am having this surgery. They have been mean, and I know they have made fun of my weight. His daughter practically called me a fat cow on Facebook. If you stay with this guy, this will always be in between you. You will always worry if I gain a pound he will leave, and he might. There are too many great men out there. Some may not have been attracted to you if you were the original weight, but once they fall for you, they will stand beside you. He isn't judging you for you or your heart, but you need to judge him for his heart. If he could be this hurtful this early in the game, I am sure he could be much more hurtful later.

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It's hurtful because you probably always wonder if this person would have liked you in your heavier body. It's sad that he can't seem to handle it and just say something nice! I know how you feel though. Previously I had Lapband and was pretty much normal weight. I was out with my then boyfriend. Him and another guy starting joking about these big girls at the bar. I was mortified. I told him after that was the size I used to be and it was very insensitive.

I always think fat people are discriminated more than any other group!

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I think men mock 'fat' women, because they have very small penises... and no dexterity in their hips and hands. :D

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Why does it matter how big you were you ain't that big now??

The hole thing baffles me. 77 pounds is a new person.

Well done with that by the way.

X

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I think men mock 'fat' women' date=' because they have very small penises... and no dexterity in their hips and hands. :D[/quote']

Paaahahhaa!!! OMG there you go again!!!

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    • LeighaTR

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    • Doughgurl

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    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
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      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

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        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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